When a rather new friend gave me this last month, I was so touched. Because girlfriends really do matter in happy times and sad, and I’m not sure how I could live without them.
But not all friends are created equal.
When two longtime local friends heard my husband was having surgery, they stepped up immediately and asserted in no uncertain terms that they would be there with me. It’s not like they didn’t have something to do that day, either. Work or grandchild care–that would be rearranged so they could be with me.
THAT is friendship.
My sister-friends in the northeast also stepped up and offered to come 3,000 miles to provide support.
THAT is friendship.
Another friend had unchangeable plans to be out of town, but provided major moral support over lunch and I know she would be there if she could.
THAT is friendship.
Another friend works at a nearby Stanford facility and pulled a few strings to get me access to a special private lounge.
I’ve written before about how I haven’t always been choosy about who I consider friends but these days, I am far more selective.
Here’s why: I’m not at all shy about admitting that I’m the kind of friend who will be there for you in good times and bad. I’ll support you, I’ll be there for you and I’ll go out of my way to do that.
If someone doesn’t feel the same way about me, well, why would I keep them in my life?
A surprising number of friends diagnosed with serious illnesses have told me that people they cared about completely disappeared when they got the news. Gone.
Imagine disappearing in a friend’s time of need! That thinking is foreign to me, but it does show the person’s true colors. And while it’s disappointing and a hard lesson, it’s good to know who you really can count on in a pinch. And what swine before whom you should not cast your pearls.
So, yeah, girlfriends matter. They matter a lot.
I feel pretty good about my ability to be a good friend.
These days I also feel pretty good about my ability to proactively make choices about who I let into my life. Or continue to allow in my life.
Loved your post, Carol.I think girlfriends (especially good close ones) are often a true reflection of our soul. They ground us, help us to find our best selves and pitch in when we can’t seem to make the choices we need to by ourselves. I think a great girlfriend can be brutally honest and yet still be dear to your heart because when we can’t see the truth, they often make it so transparent.
Sounds like you have some wonderful girlfriends. What a blessing.
It’s so sad to hear that certain friends disappear when times get tough. This happened to someone I know. When her husband passed away a lot of friends disappeared and I couldn’t believe it. I was shocked that people were more concerned about having evenly matched dinner parties than supporting their friend.
So much truth in this post – making truly good friends can be hard to do in a world where so many people are just looking out for themselves, and sometimes it’s just hard to connect to other people due to our own levels of baggage. But when you can make that perfect connection with another like-minded woman? That’s a beautiful experience, because there is really nothing like a solid girl-friend.
I think that more of my girl friends have been there for me when the chips were down than any guy has ever been. Yeah, I believe in the power of girl friends.
I am a social person, since I’m also a coach but that doesn’t mean I let a lot of people in to be my friend. I think it’s really nice to have just a few that you can count on instead of having many that you can’t count on in time of need. I’d like to think that I’m a good friend and I like to be treated the way I treat my friends.
Girlfriends are the best, indeed. I choose the people that I become close to. I drop those who are willing to drop me as well, and I don’t like being around toxic people. It’s good to have friends to love and to show you love back but you can’t trust every one, so I’m really careful.
I think girlfriends are very important. Sadly, some people don’t know what to do when someone is in need, and they gradually lose touch. Sometimes because they don’t care enough, and sometimes because they don’t know how to get out of their comfort zone and serve others. Either way, it’s a sad end to a friendship!
I am the exact same way, I am very selective to who I chose to become my close girlfriends! I certainly prefer to have a few real friends than a lot of fake friends!
Love this! I have a super small group of friends that I can count on, but who I would do anything for (and they would do the same for me!). Sadly, I’ve lost too many friends over them not making the same effort to stay in touch as we moved around. Definitely can relate with you on that point!
I keep my circle small so I only have a handful of girlfriends. We treat each other like sisters from different mothers. Always in touch with each other, always ready to go out for coffee at a short notice. Having good friends are one of the best blessings any one can have.
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I have trouble connecting with other women and therefore have very few really GOOD girl-friends. I have one or two, though.
I so agree with you! They do matter. I have a select number of friends I can count on.
Loved your post, Carol.I think girlfriends (especially good close ones) are often a true reflection of our soul. They ground us, help us to find our best selves and pitch in when we can’t seem to make the choices we need to by ourselves. I think a great girlfriend can be brutally honest and yet still be dear to your heart because when we can’t see the truth, they often make it so transparent.
Sounds like you have some wonderful girlfriends. What a blessing.
I have a very small circle of friends and I totally agree with what you shared here! Girlfriends do matter we just have to you choose them wisely ❤
It’s so sad to hear that certain friends disappear when times get tough. This happened to someone I know. When her husband passed away a lot of friends disappeared and I couldn’t believe it. I was shocked that people were more concerned about having evenly matched dinner parties than supporting their friend.
So much truth in this post – making truly good friends can be hard to do in a world where so many people are just looking out for themselves, and sometimes it’s just hard to connect to other people due to our own levels of baggage. But when you can make that perfect connection with another like-minded woman? That’s a beautiful experience, because there is really nothing like a solid girl-friend.
I think that more of my girl friends have been there for me when the chips were down than any guy has ever been. Yeah, I believe in the power of girl friends.
I have a very small group of friends and they all friends from.high school. I love my friends. They know me the best.
Yes, my girlfriends are godsends.
I am a social person, since I’m also a coach but that doesn’t mean I let a lot of people in to be my friend. I think it’s really nice to have just a few that you can count on instead of having many that you can’t count on in time of need. I’d like to think that I’m a good friend and I like to be treated the way I treat my friends.
Girlfriends are the best, indeed. I choose the people that I become close to. I drop those who are willing to drop me as well, and I don’t like being around toxic people. It’s good to have friends to love and to show you love back but you can’t trust every one, so I’m really careful.
I think girlfriends are very important. Sadly, some people don’t know what to do when someone is in need, and they gradually lose touch. Sometimes because they don’t care enough, and sometimes because they don’t know how to get out of their comfort zone and serve others. Either way, it’s a sad end to a friendship!
that is true! i have countless friends but i only have few best friends!
I also have very few close friends.The older I get the less I want to waste time on people who don’t truly care.
I am the exact same way, I am very selective to who I chose to become my close girlfriends! I certainly prefer to have a few real friends than a lot of fake friends!
It’s better to have a few awesome friends, than a ton of friends you barely know. I have a few close friends who mean the world to me.
So so so true. They are the best because only a girl can understand what you are going through.
Love this! I have a super small group of friends that I can count on, but who I would do anything for (and they would do the same for me!). Sadly, I’ve lost too many friends over them not making the same effort to stay in touch as we moved around. Definitely can relate with you on that point!
I have a couple of trusted friends I love the most, I know them from when we were child and we enjoy a lot the time we spend together!
I keep my circle small so I only have a handful of girlfriends. We treat each other like sisters from different mothers. Always in touch with each other, always ready to go out for coffee at a short notice. Having good friends are one of the best blessings any one can have.
This post reminds me of my great girl friends in my home country. Like what other people say, true friends are really rare.
I also have girlfriends that are reliable through thick and thin, and I am feeling blessed havin them 🙂
I currently do not have any great friends more like acquaintances. I do hope to one day though. Looks like you have a great group of friends.