The other day I looked at the data that shows me what posts people call up and “penis decor” was a search term that got someone to my blog. So I went on a search.
Did you know there is an Etsy shop for penis bling? It isn’t really penis decor. The products are actually slippers decorated with stuffed penises. (Or is it penii?) Penis pom-pom slippers. Truly. Anyway, there’s something for everyone on Etsy, it seems.
I also found a Youtube video that consists of several minutes of an 800 number screen. That’s it. I was so disappointed: I was hoping to see some actual penis bling. (I didn’t call the number.)
There are, however, penis-shaped flashing swizzle sticks.
Penis gift wrap options.
A bouncing blue penis.
And some really crazy penis bling porn.
I have to say that I rather long for the good old days, when no one said “penis” out loud, except maybe doctors’ daughters (like me) who were taught the proper terminology young. But the fact is, our society is penis and vagina crazy, as in saying the word, and really, it brings up images I am really not that interested in seeing, like over lunch or in my free time. To be honest.
This all began with a post I did on vajazzling, a fad that has lost its allure, apparently, as I haven’t heard anything about it in a real long time. Which is good. Except that led me to find something called furkins, which you can read about here. If you know what a merkin is, well, a furkin is the next step up. And of course, while I was on the subject and at a fine arts exhibition, I couldn’t resist THIS.
And after that vajazzle and furkin posting frenzy, I had to give men equal time, so I located a scrotum shield and other penis decor, and brought it to the attention of readers. Posted below. So folks, go crazy. I promise you can click on links and NOT get porn. I made sure of that.
Stay on trend: decorate your penis