I am not exactly an adventurous eater. I like basic food prepared well. I do not always enjoy the output of chefs who think combining odd flavors makes for a good (and expensive) dish. As the late, great pastry chef, Gina DePalma once said, “People are just too jacked up on food and cooking. Just make yourself some nice pork chops for dinner and calm the hell down.”
She was right. I don’t want to be surprised with taste or texture. No. Give me a beautiful piece of meat or fish with good seasoning, perfectly cooked and I am a happy girl.
I have in mind the very best dish I ever ever had, in Maui last August at Mama’s Fish House. Four kinds of Hawaiian fish in a curry sauce so exquisitely nuanced that I couldn’t duplicate it if I tried for years. Served atop a bed of coconut rice. Is lunch worth $48? That one was. So I had it again last week.
And no strange foods for me. No candied grasshoppers or blowfish or tuna eyeball. Yes, all “delicacies.” To some. Just not to me.
My enjoyment of food comes from a combination of taste and texture, with the addition of color and appearance. One without the other just doesn’t work for me.
The hitch in jicama
Talking about strange foods, I do not understand jicama. I just don’t. It has absolutely no taste at all. It has the requisite crunch, but seriously. There. is. no. taste. Where did the idea that we should eat this root come from? Desperately starving tribes?
Nutritional yeast is beastly
Nutritional yeast on a salad. I can not even imagine it. It sounds awful. I get that it is supposed to taste like strong cheese, but that doesn’t make it any more appealing. Especially when I read that it is an acquired taste. Put that on the list of things I see no reason to ingest. Ever.
Squid ink stinks
Ok, not literally. But still. Why would anyone eat squid ink pasta anyplace but in their own home? You can Google photos of people eating squid ink pasta, I can’t even bear to post one here. Their mouths are black. Frankly, there’s not much that tastes so good I would allow myself to have black mouth, tongue and lips. Period. I am reminded of a restaurant dinner in Venice with a friend who ordered the pasta. So wrong. Eat it in the shower just before you visit your dental hygienist. And make sure I am not in the room.
My brain is fried. Just not battered and plated.
The popularity of fried brain sandwich, battered and on a bun in Missouri is a puzzlement. Of course, mad cow disease is a factor, but even if it weren’t, this sounds absolutely disgusting. And yet, in some parts of our United States it is considered a delicacy. The thought of it makes my stomach delicate. Just saying. I tried to post a photo of this but really, it made me ill.
Let’s kill kale.
Kale. Yes, yes. I know it is our new wonder veggie. It does just about everything but drive your car for you, or so I’ve read. But I can’t stand it. It’s bitter and I can’t even fathom enjoying it in a salad unless it is drenched in dressing. But not even then. No. For me, kale is best consumed in a fruit smoothie, its taste covered up completely by plenty of apple, banana and citrus. Kale is a scam, I tell you, it’s a scam!
These foodstuffs give me “food confusion.”
Which leads me to other confusions
I get social media confusion, too. Like when people who are asking for suggestions say they are “crowdsourcing.” What ever happened to “Looking for suggestions?” Hey, I live in Silicon Valley and crowdsourcing still always sounds like kids trying to use big words. Like when people use the word utilize instead of use. Seriously? Utilize is a far more nuanced word than use with far different implications. (Yes, yes. I know I have used the word nuanced twice in this post. Get over it. There isn’t a better word.)
We should all stop crowdsourcing and simply ask for ideas or solicit input, that’s what I think.
And then there’s my constant question about why some bloggers still use Captcha when there are other more reader-friendly anti-spam methods. And I’m not saying that because I sometimes don’t get the simple arithmetic tests right. No, that’s not it at all.
So, there you go. I’m confused.
Do you get confused, too? What confuses YOU? I’d love to hear about it in the Comments, below.