A father’s apology from the other side

June 16, 2013
My father and me.

My father and me.

Despite this happy little picture, my father would never have won a Father of the Year contest. I remember what a challenge finding the right card was at Father’s Day, because none of the mushy sentiments fit. I didn’t think my father was a great dad and back in the day, there weren’t less sentimental cards.  You know, the ones that said, “Happy Father’s Day, Dad!” and nothing else. Or “blank inside” cards.

I know that many daughters out there didn’t have the best relationship with their father, because I’ve read their blog posts over the past week.  If you had a troubled relationship with your father when he was alive (or even now), this blog post is for you.

I know that the spirits want to give us an opportunity to become free from hurt, anger and hatred rather than remain hostage to it. When a spirit apologizes, it isn’t only to ask for forgiveness for himself, but to offer freedom and peace to the person he has hurt.

 In my experience, spirits often talk about how death has allowed them to see things differently.   When an unloving father passes, he is able to finally experience the full impact of his actions on the lives of those in his family. No one can avoid his own failings forever.  ~Medium Hollister Rand’s June newsletter

Hang on to your chapeaus, because last year, much to my surprise, this happened to me. My father spoke with me through a (different) medium and apologized for the way he fathered. He explained in detail how sorry he was and how he hadn’t realized what he’d done until he had crossed over. We both cried. We discussed it. (Yes, this requires you to suspend disbelief, because in my world, I can and do speak to loved ones who have crossed over.)

Since then, my father has spoken to me several more times. Including admonishing me to clean the garage. (Yes, he is right. I need to do that.)  We have a great relationship: the one I always wished I could have with him.

So here’s what I discovered: it might come late, but it’s never too late to have the father-daughter relationship you always wanted.

With that in mind, I wish my own father a very happy Father’s Day, thank him for taking time out of his busy afterlife to make things right and tell him I’m looking forward to seeing him again.

But not any time soon.

Postscript:  Mediums John Edward and Hollister Rand have both brought messages from my father, but this particular message was channeled by the excellent medium, Jamie Butler, in a telephone session.  HERE is Jamie’s website. She also has great web classes that I highly recommend.

16 comments on “A father’s apology from the other side
  1. PatU says:

    You took a few words right out of my mouth, especially about finding the “right” card. I’d love to figure out how to make that contact to know what the heck my father was thinking.

    • admin says:

      It’s funny: I came to my understanding after years of counseling and thought I’d put it to rest. So no one was more surprised than I when he popped up in a channeling session to specifically talk about it in detail that was unmistakable. I’m going to add the medium’s name to the post in a minute. This is always a difficult day for those of us who didn’t have the Cleaver family, isn’t it? Thinking of you, Pat!

  2. Jo Heroux says:

    I think this picture shows a father taking a photo he would rather not have taken, his head is pulling away from the child. The child is not smiling, but rather grimacing and also pulling away. Tells more of the relationship than words.

    I’m very happy that it is now worked out and you can send a heartfelt Happy greeting to him.

  3. Lisa says:

    Im not even sure WHO my dad is. Whichever of the two I know about, I guess I know why there was the emotional distance that there was. My mother played a horrible trick on me & my two fathers. I just know a couple years before he passed away(in my home, under my care) I had the proverbial rug pulled out from under me. I guess I could request DNA testing for the one who’s still alive & also the one who wants to change me into the daughter he wants me to be, or let sleeping dogs lie. I suppose a session where I channel my mother is more in order! Both mothers day & fathers day are ruined, though. Mom passed mothers day weekend. Maybe e the gods have a sense of humor??

  4. Carol,
    I also am one of those who wrestled with feelings. I’ve made my peace by accepting that my father was flawed, like we all are.
    I enjoyed hearing of your experience–it’s never to late to make amends and reconnect is it.

  5. Ellen Dolgen says:

    I am so happy that you found some peace, Carol.

  6. Susan Cooper says:

    I cried and felt a dead understanding regarding your father daughter conversations. I had a great dad (while he was alive and now in a different form) but I have had friends who were not so lucky and so understand this post.

    I had to laugh when you said he admonished you for not cleaning out the garage. Mine does the same thing whenever I doubt myself and what I am trying to accomplish with my blog. Hugs. 🙂

    PS: I am now a subscriber (about time, huh… LOL)

  7. admin says:

    Susan: ; – )

  8. Chloe Jeffreys says:

    My mother has come to me in my dreams and we’ve talked through many things. That peace I have with her is priceless.

  9. Barbara says:

    However it happened, it’s wonderful that you have been able to forgive him. It just proves it’s actually never too late to say you’re sorry!

  10. admin says:

    Chloe, that makes me feel so good! I love hearing when this happens to others because it helps validate my own experience.

  11. Carol, GenFab was one of the best finds of the year for me because of the quality blogs I’ve discovered like this one. You’ve put a very common conflict into words and offered a message about reaching beyond for peace that was both appealing and hopeful. Thank you.

  12. admin says:

    Susan, you’re so sweet- thank you!!! I love GF, too!

  13. Sheryl says:

    I think it is very touching that you are able to have a conversation with your dad at this point. It might not have been possible in “real” life, but it must bring you some comfort now, nonetheless.

  14. admin says:

    Sheryl, it was unexpected and really, such a gift.

  15. Laurie Stone says:

    So fascinating, and I’m open to all of it. There’s so much we don’t know. I’d like to speak to my own dad through a medium. We had a good relationship, but just thinking about it gives me goosebumps. Sometimes I just talk to him in my mind. I never know if its real or in my imagination, but it still brings comfort. So glad you and your dad have become closer.

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