About your advice

January 16, 2016

Try taking your ownadvice.
If you’re like me, you give a lot of advice. Some is asked for, some isn’t, but regardless, giving advice part of being a friend.

I’ll admit it: sometimes I know darn well someone isn’t hearing advice I’m giving, but if I really care about that person, I continue to give it. Yes, it’s risky. Some people don’t want to see what’s right in front of them and there are many reasons for that.

But today I’m talking about something else. I’m talking about the advice we give that we don’t follow, ourselves.  I’m talking about “Pot, meet kettle” advice.

Hey, I’m guilty!  Or at least I have been, in the past.

It’s hard to take our own advice.

But see, that’s why we have friends. To be that mirror, reflecting back what they see. What we should be seeing, ourselves, because it’s in our own best interests.

Some friends don’t give advice at all, thinking it’s none of their business. Others believe that total acceptance is the way to be a good friend: if it makes you happy kind of thing.  I have those friends and it’s a comfy thing.

Comfy, but really, all life change happens in the realm of DIScomfort, doesn’t it? When we’re challenged to up our game in some way.

I’m pretty sure that I have at least one friend who’s so accepting that if I said I wanted to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge, they’d say “if you think that’s best.”

I’m only half kidding. I have another friend who, upon my announcement of yet another pending marriage, reminded me that I swore I’d never marry again and pushed me hard-hard-hard in that way really good friends have of looking out for you. Which is why I’d do just about anything for her– and have.

And yes, I’m meandering around the subject of advice. So here are the bottom lines:

I don’t think anyone wins when a friend doesn’t give advice that’s meant to be helpful. I don’t mean you really should lose 20 lbs kind of advice.  I mean practical advice.

And if we give advice? We ought to be taking it ourselves.

Because the best advice is always our own, right?

7 comments on “About your advice
  1. Anita Irlen says:

    I think we often give advice largely to hear it ourselves. The other person is kind of incidental. Sounds tough but it’s human nature. Thanks. I’m going to listen to my friends advice a bit more.

  2. Laurel Regan says:

    Good point. And a good reminder! Thank you.

  3. I try not to give too much advice unless expressly asked. Perhaps partly because I don’t want to hear advice unless I ask for it. Add in there that I’m the youngest child and being so means everyone gave advice when I was growing up!

  4. After receiving a lot of bad advice over the years, I’m sticking to taking my own advice. But that’s just me. Not that I always stick to it. LOL

  5. it’s a fine line when you give advice – knowing the other person well helps a lot. I try to keep my nose out of it unless I’m invited to give my opinion – less fallout that way!

  6. Jennifer says:

    I know I give a lot of advice, masquerading as my opinion. I’m trying to cut it way back because most if it’s really none of my business 🙂

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