Should we stop being judgmental?

February 24, 2022

being-judgmental“I’m a really judgmental person,” someone said to me the other day, and it struck me as a truly honest statement.

Very few of us cop to being judgmental, but every one of us is. I know I am.

We exercise judgment in every phase of our life, weighing and evaluating options every single day. It’s an important life skill. It can also be a knee-jerk reaction. For example, we look at troubled kids and almost immediately evaluate their parenting in our minds.

Opinions are almost always based on judgment of some kind and especially political opinions. But let’s take political opinions OUT of this discussion.

“I try not to judge.”

Well, maybe. But fact is? You do.

Being judgmental is normal. It’s how we decide what’s right or wrong, for ourselves and by extension, for others.

I’m not so sure there’s anything wrong with being judgmental, per se. But when we go off the deep end, thinking our way is the only way–that’s when it can become a problem.

For example: There is no one right way to worship a deity. There is no one right fiscal policy.

Where it can get dicey is in things like science (yes, one right way and that right way changes with new information. Or racism (yes, it’s right to not be racist but there are many ways to express that. Just not racist ways) There is one right way to have dialogue (without insults).

Critics are judgmental and we can hear what they say–and judge literature, film, music by our own criteria.

But overall I think being judgmental is healthy and I don’t think we have to go out of our way to reserve judgment on every single thing in life.

A reminder that our supportive tools for healing and grief are found here:

5 comments on “Should we stop being judgmental?
  1. Being judgemental isn’t necessarily the problem, it’s expressing it without regard to the feelings of others.

  2. Laurie Stone says:

    You’re right, we can’t help being judgmental. I try and watch the pre-judging, which can happen if another person is in a certain political group or even some religions. Then I have to watch myself for jumping to conclusions.

  3. Diane says:

    I try so hard to NOT be judgemental. Then someone does something like March across Canada and disrupt everyone or invade Ukraine and I’m all puffed up like a toad…

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  1. […] know. You think I’m judgmental about this.  I am. (Reference THIS post about judgments.) But I don’t see it as a problem. I see it as […]

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