I’ll never let go

April 7, 2015

Photo by me

Once I take hold of your hand, I never let go – even if you let go.
– Maharajji… shared at a Ram Dass retreat last year.

It’s all about being love.

Such a beautiful thought and especially timely with the recent publication of my essay in the anthology, Dumped: Women Unfriending Women

as well as with the comment my dear soul sister made to me last month:

“You and me? We’re friends for life.”

That’s such a huge statement and it requires a gigantic leap of faith.

Do we have the capacity, the capability to take such a leap with everyone in our lives?

Ram Dass thinks so. He recommends love as the antidote to just about anything that could ail us.  That soul-to-soul love that recognizes that we are all made of the same Divine matter. When we relate on a soul level, it’s easy to love.

That’s why I call her my soul sister, sister of my soul. Because we see beyond the relational aspect of love. It is a miracle, really, that we found each other.  Because we had been acquainted for quite a long time without knowing each other.Without knowing the big thing we had in common was we both wanted to be love.

In fact, Ram Dass points out that the important thing in love is not the giving or the receiving. It’s the being.

Being love.

Seeing the love all around us. Seeing the love in people. All people. Even people who would be hard to love. Ram Dass shows us what a joy it is to turn someone we didn’t like at first into a beloved. They don’t have to know it or even return love.  In this case, it really is all about us.

Do I have a relationship with her? we might respond about someone we know.  No. But I love her. She is my beloved.

Sometimes we have to go pretty far to find that ability to love someone we don’t like.  Here’s what Ram Dass says about it:

“The way I work at seeing others (like the politician I don’t like) as the beloved is to remind myself, “This is another soul, just like me, who has taken a complicated incarnation, just as I have. I don’t want to be in this incarnation any more than he wants to be in mine. But since I want to rest in my soul and not in my ego, I would like to give everybody the opportunity to do the same.”

We are not accustomed to thinking this way. Yet, it makes complete sense to me.

We worry so much about what others think, when really, we need only work on ourselves.  Being love is a worthy goal.

I’ll let RD have the final words:

“Remember, we are all affecting the world every moment, whether we mean to or not. Our actions and states of mind matter, because we are so deeply interconnected with one another. Working on our own consciousness is the most important thing that we are doing at any moment, and being love is a supreme creative act.”


what lies within us

38 comments on “I’ll never let go
  1. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says:

    I think that every thing we do or say has some kind of impact on everyone around us. Choosing to be positive is always better than negative.

  2. marie says:

    I love the positivity of your post, all is so true.

  3. Another thing Ram Dass said, “We’re all just walking each other home. ” It kind of puts things into perspective.

  4. Ellen Dolgen says:

    Wow, thank you for starting my day with your powerful words. I had a dear mentor who always told me not to let the hurt I feel from loved ones change my loving ways but rather stay true to myself. Be kind, loving and caring. She told me that this is how you lead a joyful life. She left me with this quote before she passed on, “It if is to be, it is up to me.” Now, I shall add your beautiful words — “Being Love”.

  5. If we spent as much time being love as we did looking for love, what a wonderful world this would be. Thank you, Carol, for a poignant piece.

  6. Just imagine how much could be accomplished in this world if we all took one moment to love someone just one person who was difficult to love.
    Beautiful post, Carol.

  7. Helene Cohen Bludman says:

    Friends for life — through thick and thin, no matter what — could there be a better gift? Thank you for starting my day on a positive note.

  8. Kim Tackett says:

    I have a saying…friends of the road and friends of the heart. Friends of the road are important and valid…but there are many. Friends of the heart..wow, if you’re lucky, at the end you have three or four. Also…love…lead with love. Be with love. Breathe with love.

  9. A lot of food for thought this morning!

  10. Roz Warren says:

    You always give me a lot to think about, Carol. I love my friends — but I’ve also cut toxic friends loose when that seemed appropriate. You can’t love everyone. Nor should you.

  11. Thanks for the quotes from Ram Dass and your illumination of them. I have read a little bit of his work–enough to be interested in reading quotes I haven’t seen before!

  12. Hi Carol! No surprise that I’m a lover of Ram Dass too. I could hear his voice speaking in every one of your quotes and so appreciate his clarity about love. It’s pretty simple right? One of Thom and I’s favorite quotes about other people is when he said that “we are all just God in drag.” Thank you for reminding me of all this this morning. ~Kathy

  13. Hi Carol,

    Such a simple post 🙂 Very inspirational as well 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

  14. I have learned to be much more tolerant of those who are not exactly my cup of tea as I’ve gotten older – we are all unique/weird/odd in our own ways. Having said that, I’ve also learned that holding on to friends who are not good for me is toxic, and I’ve let many people go.

  15. I’d never thought about the concept of ‘being’ love before. But that’s what you are if you’re a giving positive person. Oh, yes! I’ll keep that thought close to my heart. Hugs!

  16. My girlfriend always says that those that are the most unloveable need love the most. I think it’s important to remember that we never know HOW what we say or do may impact another at that moment, so always acting in love is the best approach.

  17. Harriet says:

    That is a wonderful post. I am starting to think that I have seen all kinds of love.

  18. Britney says:

    That Ralph Waldo Emerson quote is one of my favorites! Such a good inspiration!

  19. Beautiful post. Once again you have made my day brighter. Thank you!

  20. Liz Mays says:

    That’s a really good way of seeing others you’re not fond of. Definitely a hard love to learn.

  21. Kimberly Bergeron says:

    What a lovely post. I wish we could all take this to heart and remember it!

  22. WendysHat says:

    Beautiful! I believe that you always love them too! I’ve always lived by the saying of “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I love your picture too.

  23. Beautiful flowers and a beautiful post! Seeing love around is not easy, but it is a wonderful experience if we can see that.

  24. Such a great way to look at leaving someone alone that you don’t like. Brilliant.

  25. Pansies are my favorite flowers love that you start your post with this beautiful image.

  26. Thanks so much for sharing. I love so many in my life, family and friends.

  27. Purple says:

    Beautifully portrayed <3

  28. I’m going to have to think on this a while, Carol. Having gone through a few years of cutting people off, your post adds a totally new perspective on how we can be loving.

  29. I do believe you can love/like someone and yet not allow them into your life. I came to that realization with my mother. I guess the key is keeping it all non-toxic. Tricky.

  30. Layne says:

    I love this quote: “He recommends love as the antidote to just about anything that could ail us.”

  31. I feel like this now. I have so many insecurities that it is hard for me to allow people in and when I do I get hurt.

  32. Such powerful and wise words. It’s very hard at times to see and feel the love in the people we don’t care for. It’s something I’m working on, but it isn’t always easy.

  33. Brenda silbernagel says:

    I have been following you for over a year now Carol. Please, never stop writing. Your words, topics, opinions, and beliefs either make my day so much better, or leave me speechless and astounded by so much truth. You are the first email I read in the morning,and I just wanted to take a quick minute to share my gratitude. I hope to get to San Francisco some day.

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