Brother-husbands: equality in polygamy

November 1, 2011

We get our share of houseguests and they’re usually my women friends. Or young people. It’s rare that a straight male my age comes to stay, but that’s what’s happening soon when one of my very closest friends, BMF (best male friend) arrives for a visit.

We grew up together, he knows my family and my mother was crazy about him. I can still hear them kidding around together.

M’s gotten to know him, too, likes him, and so I am thinking that his visit might be a trial for the male version of Sister Wives.

Only without any sexpectation. {I’ve been dying to use that word; just heard it on a rerun of Sex in the City.}

As you know, I loved the show Big Love and always wondered why polygamy is always defined as multiple wives and not husbands. I think there’s much to be said for brother-husbands, and here’s why.

1. BMF and M both love sports and can keep each other company, providing me space and time to write, shop and lunch with my friends. No guilt here–my husbands are occupied! Plus M needs someone to talk to about his various teams.

2. BMF keeps an immaculate house. As much as I love Esther and the girls, M & I would certainly save some money if BMF was another household husband.

3. M really doesn’t like car maintenance, but BMF is a car collector. How fabulous for M and me to have someone at home who likes to repair and maintain the cars!

4. BMF has been a bodybuilder and fitness freak his whole adult life. I’m crazy about Trainer Chris, but having a live-in trainer would rock for M and me. Between that and jettisoning the maids, it would be like a whole other income.

5. M is very handy and can build things. But he’s a little lazy. BMF is also handy, but very focused. Oh, the projects my husbands could build!

6. M is very smart and well-read. But he’s not a man-date kind of guy. BMF finds it difficult to find that many interesting men friends in our hometown. He does tend to do guy things. Sounds like it would be a good, symbiotic relationship for them.

Extending that out–what if I found a husband who could cook really well, another who could do hair and makeup, go to chick flicks with me and also one who had inherited wealth? The possibilities are endless.

I think we women need to claim our equality and our right to brother-husbands.

Who’s with me on this?

10 comments on “Brother-husbands: equality in polygamy
  1. Anonymous says:

    I am with you!! beth

  2. Anonymous says:

    Sounds like your male friend is a girl friend with a penis and some heavy lifting benefits. Without the sex it is not polygamy hahahahaha.


  3. Sister, I knew you would be!

  4. Anonymous says:

    God made Adam and Eve,
    not adam and allan and andrew and a.j. & eve.
    Marraige is between 1 man and one woman.
    And the man you love and have chosen to commit yourself to, should be all you need and then some. If hes lacking in the things you need maybe you didnt make such a wise decision in your spouse choice.
    My parents have been married for 27 years, have 4 kids, and have brought each and every one of us up to know and love god with all our hearts.
    Never has my mom said that she wished she had another man or my dad another woman. One is all shen needs. and then some.

    • Anonymous says:

      Actually if you read the bible you’d know it states clearly that a man can marry as many women as he can afford to keep. Nothing like a bible basher who hasn’t read the bible! lol.

  5. Anon 12/31: Think tongue planted firmly in cheek. And that old saw about Adam and Steve? Nahh. Don’t buy it.

  6. xue says:

    If you get pregnant.. who is the biological father of the baby!!

  7. Ashley W. says:

    I agree with you completely. I love my husband with all that I am, but I also love my bestfriend, (he and I almost got married before I married my husband) and my husband and my bestfriend are also Very close, my husband and I have talked about being “One big happy family” and can find common ground on the idea. My bestfriend isn’t sure about it, but he says he will consider it since he feels so strongly for me… he plans to move in with us and give being with us a shot. If we could find a way to make it legal, he would consider being my second husband.

    good luck to you if you find a way to do it, please share it with me!

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