Learning to love certainty

July 15, 2015

I used to think this was a fate worse than death.

There was a time that I didn’t like the idea of certainty. It was….boring.

I preferred by far not knowing what was around the next corner.

Surprises thrilled me. Uncertainty made me breathe in anticipation and breathe out amazement.  I couldn’t wait to see what would happen next.

A life of certainty seemed a fate worse than death.

That get-bored-easily thing was hell on relationships. No commitment ever felt like forever, because forever felt like, well for-EVER. A death march into oblivion.

But time passes and we change, evolve.

Shaking off my fears, I made a forever commitment six years ago, the same commitment I made 43 years ago and to the same man.

Now, you could say that our 28 year hiatus gave me the uncertainty I needed to make that pledge and mean it. To even like it.

Maybe that’s true. But here’s where I find myself today:


In a state of certainty.

I love it.

And I love him.
Happy sixth, 14th or 43rd anniversary (depending on how you count) to my rocking and certain first and last husband.

24 comments on “Learning to love certainty
  1. Happy anniversary to both of you! What an amazing testament to love your story is!

  2. Happy Anniversary no matter how many years you want to count! In this crazy world of our anniversaries matter so much.

    Nothing is certain in life except for this moment, this second. Right here and now. So? Celebrate today – your special day! It’s certainly something to be happy about, Carol.


  3. Lisa Froman says:

    Happy Anniversary! I love your story. And it “certainly” sounds as though you’ve found the right man…again. lol

  4. Thanks, CC. We are celebrating by my going to meet with Hot trainer, taking Riley to Nose Work class, cleaning house before our housekeeper arrives then collapsing over sushi! Our life now is quite different than it was 43 years ago!

  5. pia says:

    I hope your life is different than it was 43 years ago! But your story is so amazing!

  6. Haralee says:

    Yours is certainly an amazing love story!

  7. I love your re-kindled love story Carol – and that you’ve found such confidence in your man this time around. Happy Anniversary and I wish you many more to come 🙂 ~ Leanne

  8. Toni McCloe says:

    What a beautiful and beautifully written post. (I used to think that way too.) Congrats to both of you on whatever anniversary it is.

  9. I think certainty is safety, which we value as we grow old enough to know that living on the edge and like tomorrow does come. One of the reasons my marriage works so well. I feel safe. Safe is the new sexy!

  10. I’m with you, Carol – love the certainty of a good marriage. Happy anniversary!

  11. I LOVE certainty- especially in Love. Happy Anniversary!

  12. Hi Carol! I actually love uncertainty in MOST things…but like you, the certainty in my marriage and friendship with Thom isn’t one of them. Congratulations and happy anniversaries! ~Kathy

  13. Uncertainty sounds like the idealistic young women we were. Now, the only thing we’re guaranteed to be certain of is this very moment. My husband unexpectedly died of a heart problem, we didn’t know he had, on Christmas Day. Other than desperately missing him, I may not be certain of anything, ever again. Brenda

  14. Amy says:

    Happy Anniversary, Carol! I love your story. I’m glad you found lasting happiness.

  15. Carol Graham says:

    We married the same year as you did – the first time. In hindsight, a break would have been nice but not 28 years. Amazing that you did it and survived LOL. Which one of you was the one who kept coming back?

  16. Actually, no one kept coming back. When he was widowed, he dialed me up and said he wanted to remarry. Right out of the chute. We hadn’t seen each other in 27 years.

  17. Fascinating story, Carol. Talk about what goes around comes around! Glad it worked out after all that time.

  18. Ruth Curran says:

    I never tire of this story and your telling it! Happy anniversary (whichever number you choose) from me (and my first and last husband)!

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