Christmas is not supposed to loom large

December 23, 2012

Well, here we are. 
The trees have been long trimmed, 
colorful lights have been sparkling for weeks, 
gifts are wrapped and stacked around the tree. 
It’s almost Christmas Eve and in a little over 48 hours, 
it’ll be over and done with, at least for another year.
I had a hard time getting in the spirit this year and I’m not sure why.  
I was tired of beloved Christmas songs 
before the season even started in earnest.
Disinterested in Karen Carpenter singing
Merry Christmas, darling
didn’t laugh when I heard
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
and didn’t listen long enough to hear my old favorite, 
Snoopy vs. the Red Baron by The Royal Guardsmen.

We went to get our tree and I was flat.
I wasn’t exactly bah, humbug
but I was definitely not in the spirit.

I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out why.

Maybe it’s that the retail holiday season now begins before Thanksgiving. 
By the time December rolled around, the stores had been decked out for a month 
and maybe I was already burned out on red and green.
Or maybe I didn’t participate enough.
I don’t do Black Friday or shop at all in the Christmas crowds.
I’m done with gift-buying long before November
and stay away from the craziness that goes on at malls.
This year, we didn’t attend a Christmas concert or immerse ourselves in festivities.
Maybe I didn’t give myself a chance to get in the spirit of things.
Maybe it’s that I’m working again
and we’ve been very, very busy at school,
what with ending one semester 
and getting ready to start another in just a couple of weeks.
Maybe I was just too tired to get into the holiday this year.
Maybe it’s that the crass commercialism of the season
has finally gotten to me. 
Every year someone gets trampled in the mad rush
to get a Black Friday deal
and sometimes they even die.
It’s horrific and has nothing to do with the real meaning of the holiday.
Maybe I just don’t like what we’ve done to a holy day.

Then, for toppers, Connecticut.

 My only concession to Christmas was to record every sappy Lifetime or Hallmark 
Christmas movie that looked even remotely like it would distract me
and then watch them in my off hours.
I never used to watch those programs. Ever.
Maybe I need to rethink Christmas next year
and make a point of doing things that celebrate the sacred.

As for this year? Well, I’ll be happy when the season is over
and life returns to its normal routine.

Ever felt like that?
4 comments on “Christmas is not supposed to loom large
  1. Anonymous says:

    I feel like that now. It used to be that the Christmas season started the day after Thanksgiving, now it starts before Halloween. It just isn’t special or magical any longer.
    Im waiting for the day it starts in September. We’re not so so slowly removing the spiritual aspects and replacing them with a commercial bombardment.

  2. I have three suggestions for you.
    1) Get outside of yourself–Go help at a food kitchen and make sure to smile the whole time. These people have a right to feel blah. You will leave with an renewed spirit
    2) Go to a very praiseful Christmas service at a non-denominational church–its more like concert than a service. This should uplift you.
    3) If you pray, get on your news and God to renew your spirit at the manger. You just might find the most holy gift of all.
    This is what I would do if I was feeling blue this time of year. PS. I would also make sure that I was taking my estrogen, but that’s just me.

  3. Stephanie says: really express the sentiments in my brain. I have an excuse..Hurricane Sandy! It’s been front and center in my life because my Mom has been displaced and is living with me now. The holidays are more raw…my blessings in my face. The commercialism of Christmas more blatant. Yet,,,today I met an earth angel in the form of man who helped me put air in my tires. A simple act, but an encounter that was God sent. A human touch sent from above. I’m finding meaning in unusual places. Merry Christmas.

  4. Sylvie says:

    “Ever felt like that?”


    Re the not getting involved with festivities this year – might have contributed an imbalance? The contrast effect tipped in favour of the less attractive aspects (i.e. consumerism) vs “celebrating the sacred”. I find that excessive focus on “things” is hard to reconcile at the best of times.

    If you’re not normally like this but are this year, perhaps it is the things you’ve noted – the return to work etc combined with not getting involved with festivities, that contribute to a feeling of weariness?

    Now I’m left pondering the increased need to actively seek balance in order to provide contrast to those things that do not align with personal beliefs or ideals. I’m not sure it used to be such a necessity, is what I’m getting at.

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