Well, here we are.
The trees have been long trimmed,
colorful lights have been sparkling for weeks,
gifts are wrapped and stacked around the tree.
It’s almost Christmas Eve and in a little over 48 hours,
it’ll be over and done with, at least for another year.
I had a hard time getting in the spirit this year and I’m not sure why.
I was tired of beloved Christmas songs
before the season even started in earnest.
Disinterested in Karen Carpenter singing
Merry Christmas, darling,
didn’t laugh when I heard
Grandma got run over by a reindeer
and didn’t listen long enough to hear my old favorite,
Snoopy vs. the Red Baron by The Royal Guardsmen.
We went to get our tree and I was flat.
I wasn’t exactly bah, humbug,
but I was definitely not in the spirit.
I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out why.
Maybe it’s that the retail holiday season now begins before Thanksgiving.
By the time December rolled around, the stores had been decked out for a month
and maybe I was already burned out on red and green.
Or maybe I didn’t participate enough.
I don’t do Black Friday or shop at all in the Christmas crowds.
I’m done with gift-buying long before November
and stay away from the craziness that goes on at malls.
This year, we didn’t attend a Christmas concert or immerse ourselves in festivities.
Maybe I didn’t give myself a chance to get in the spirit of things.
Maybe it’s that I’m working again
and we’ve been very, very busy at school,
what with ending one semester
and getting ready to start another in just a couple of weeks.
Maybe I was just too tired to get into the holiday this year.
Maybe it’s that the crass commercialism of the season
has finally gotten to me.
Every year someone gets trampled in the mad rush
to get a Black Friday deal
and sometimes they even die.
It’s horrific and has nothing to do with the real meaning of the holiday.
Maybe I just don’t like what we’ve done to a holy day.
Then, for toppers, Connecticut.
My only concession to Christmas was to record every sappy Lifetime or Hallmark
Christmas movie that looked even remotely like it would distract me
and then watch them in my off hours.
I never used to watch those programs. Ever.
Maybe I need to rethink Christmas next year
and make a point of doing things that celebrate the sacred.
As for this year? Well, I’ll be happy when the season is over
and life returns to its normal routine.
Ever felt like that?