When I saw this painting I couldn’t help but think of Derek Wills, the bad-boy director character on the (now cancelled) TV show, Smash. Did you watch? Its setting was the fascinating world of Broadway theatre and what (supposedly) goes on behind the scenes. I was addicted to it, and so were a few of my friends. Sorry to see it go. But back to Derek.
Derek always complicated the plot by whipping his manhood out and inserting it somewhere he shouldn’t, usually into a gorgeous actress-singer-dancer (pick one or better yet, pick them all!). Yes, Derek was a cock-o’-the-walk in the truest sense.
And yet.
We couldn’t help but like him.
We all know men like him, don’t we? Those guys who just can’t keep it inside the zipper, but even in their arrogance, they seem hapless, boyish and, well, likeable. The kind of guy who behaves badly and gets in return not outrage but instead, a rueful laugh.
“Oh, he’s so clueless,” we cluck. And somehow, there are never any true consequences. The cock-o-the-walk can strut his stuff with impunity forever.
So are we doing men like this any favors by finding them amusingly cute? and hapless? And how do you moms take care to NOT raise sons like that? Inquiring minds want to know.
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I viewed my role as mother as a special opportunity to help my sons be better Men, lovers and people. Maybe because I worked in violence against women jobs, but I tried very hard to teach respect, mutuality and a non-aggressive role around women. I think it was successful? What did I do? I talked to them about girls and sex and behavior. I encouraged communication and made sure to be accessible to them when they needed me.
I do not think we do men or women a service by perpetuating the ole “boys will be boys” thing. Cute maybe—but not lovable when we get to the essence of what they’re really doing, which is taking advantage of women, objectifying them and then waltzing off without taking responsibility for their actions…. exaggerated, obviously.
There has always been a love of “bad boys”. People look at them and think they are adventurous and rebels. Sometimes they are just men who never grew up. 🙂
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Just like the Don Draper character on Mad Men. So bad, yet so good.
Don Draper—“good”…interesting. Definitely “complicated”. And so damn handsome!
Haven’t heard that expression in ages….describes both ex husbands and mother! Loved this post!
Mother?! Say more!
I viewed my role as mother as a special opportunity to help my sons be better Men, lovers and people. Maybe because I worked in violence against women jobs, but I tried very hard to teach respect, mutuality and a non-aggressive role around women. I think it was successful? What did I do? I talked to them about girls and sex and behavior. I encouraged communication and made sure to be accessible to them when they needed me.
I do not think we do men or women a service by perpetuating the ole “boys will be boys” thing. Cute maybe—but not lovable when we get to the essence of what they’re really doing, which is taking advantage of women, objectifying them and then waltzing off without taking responsibility for their actions…. exaggerated, obviously.
There has always been a love of “bad boys”. People look at them and think they are adventurous and rebels. Sometimes they are just men who never grew up. 🙂