I wasn’t always the confident person I am now.
But I was always someone who could only be how she was. Authenticity was me.
Here in Silicon Valley, we call that WYSIWYG.
It stands for “What you see is what you get.”
It’s not that I set out to be that way. I came IN that way, genetically unable to put on a facade.
Some of my recent posts about stepping into your own power and having confidence have generated good discussions, back and forths about the cost of being who you are. I was surprised to see that some women really did think there is a cost to being authentic.
I’ve never thought that I lost anything worthwhile by being my authentic self.
Integrity–that quality of being honest in a way that lets everyone know where you stand–has had only positives.
Does that meant it hasn’t created a little havoc? Of course not.
I had a crazy boss who wanted me gone because of stands I took. But it was past time for me to leave that gig and I was happy when I had the chance to resign and leave his increasing and clinical paranoia. So my boss didn’t like me. Who cares when an idiot doesn’t like them? Not me.
A coworker gave me the highest compliment ever when he pointed out that I was one of the very few people on the job who would speak out against racism. My coworkers didn’t seem racist. They just wouldn’t open their mouths when the time came. Was that because they were afraid to be who they really are for fear of losing a gig? That they couldn’t stand in their own power?
My rebound marriage fell apart because I couldn’t pretend to be someone I’m not. What did I lose, the opportunity to wear a facade for the rest of my life?
My siblings left my life because I am not like them. The cost was that I do not have my closest genetic family in my life. But to do that I would have to pretend and not be me. But I am close with plenty of people who are just fine with me as I am. My chosen family. What I’ve really lost is the stress of being with people who judge and dislike me. Not such a bad thing.
See, that’s the thing.
We THINK we might lose something but if we really analyze the situation we’ll probably find we haven’t lost anything of value at all.
THEY are the ones who have lost something.
Because it’s not about us at all. It’s about them.
But it really does take some discriminating thought to get there.
What do YOU think?