It really IS all about the consequences

December 27, 2022


I haven’t always made the best decisions in my life. Not the best decisions for me OR the best decisions, period. So let me make that perfectly clear.

Also, I do believe that people are entitled to their privacy. So I’ve been trying to figure out a way to write this so that’s preserved. Oh not for me. For someone else. An acquaintance. Not someone I know well. But someone who lives enough of their life online that conclusions can be drawn. About lots of things.

Especially about consequences.

The person has a past that they’ve been pretty open about. And a family. And a divorce.

Success! Or is it?

And like many 30-somethings, they found a way to leverage something they learned how to do into a pretty solid business with significant revenue. Big money. And while it wasn’t exactly multi-level marketing, getting others to do what they were doing had a big pay off … and the big motivator for them AND those that joined in was MONEY.

It was all about the money. Money was the topic, repeatedly. And so for me, well, that little nagging thought that maybe some gouging was going on. Because those who signed on were encouraged to charge ridiculously high fees. RIDICULOUSLY high. Because it was all about the money. A lot of it played out online so followers were privy to those numbers. Because hey, maybe we’d. want to join up and get some of those Benjamins for ourselves!

Umm, not so much, I thought.

The worm appears. Always, right?

And then a big-eyed charmer wormed their way into the situation, push came to shove and it was important to make it legal. So they did. And while the charmer was NOT involved in the business, they certainly benefited. Was it a sort of gold-digging situation? Hard to tell. Maybe. Not enough information to tell.

So lots of public talk about money. Lots of business talk. And some inferences about the burdens of family life with such a time-consuming business, but not in those words exactly. Inferences. But it was clear. Because there was hardly any talk at all about happy family life. Few photos of fun things the family did together.

The person was definitely carrying a heavy weight. I can only imagine the weight the family carried. The kids.

Despite many posted declarations of love by the charmer, the relationship ended, for undisclosed reasons. And then came the financial reckoning.

Rubber meets the road

Well, yes. When you make it all about the money, there is always a financial reckoning. Sometimes a pretty painful one. Because no one likes to see the fruits of the labors handed over to someone who seemed to not labor. I know I wouldn’t.

Such are consequences.

I would love to spell all this out because there are so many lessons. But I can’t. What I CAN say is this:

Life is not about the money. Yes, money makes a lot of things easier, but it absolutely does not buy happiness. Nor does it buy memories of happy family times. When I think about kids growing up with one or more parents under extreme self-imposed pressure to make more and more money, well, I do not see a happy ending. I see kids with problems down the line, if not right now.


When you back yourself into a corner and are forced to partner up with someone you don’t know very well, the consequences can be pretty steep. Some of my relationship decisions have been pretty questionable, but at the same time, they turned out ok because I always found a way to slip out of a potentially untenable situation. Sometimes it took a little finagling, but I am nothing if not goal-oriented. So it’s not like I don’t understand how these things happen. They do. We are only human.

Some of the hardest things in life are consequences. Those reckonings for our human frailties, for everything we did that wasn’t very smart or healthy or…you name it.

And in the latest breaking news, they’ve gone social-media official with “in a relationship.”

Well…yeah. Another. Within mere months. Just a few.

I’ve thought a lot about this situation as it’s played out, and here’s where I ended up:

I want to send up some prayers for this soul. That they put the endless search for more and more money in perspective. That they do not keep making the same relationship mistakes. That they see the value of making wonderful, happy memories for their kids. That they find a way to deal with their own trauma so they don’t continue to visit it on their offspring. That they take time for R&R. Maybe walk away from work for a significant span and just focus on finding joy in every day life.

That the reckoning they face, the consequences of their decisions bring them to a happier, more content life.

And so be it.


8 comments on “It really IS all about the consequences
  1. Consequences, not money, are how we learn and grow.

  2. Alana says:

    Some of us learn the lesson about money not buying happiness early in life. Some learn it in their 20’s. Some never learn it. I hope the situation you are blogging about is a learning experience but a little gut feeling says another train wreck or two will have to happen first.

  3. Pennie says:

    I’m with you 100% on this one, Carol. Not directly but sort of related, I told the kids (all adults now) that I wasn’t buying gifts this year and they didn’t need to feel obliged either. After I shared the one gift I made for each of them, I overheard my son say something like, “This is so much better. Without the flood of gifts, everything is more meaningful, special.”

  4. Lauren says:

    This one really made me think. There is always a financial reckoning.

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