And for sharing it, want to win a copy of The Diva Doctrine: 16 Universal Principles Every Woman Needs to Know? by Patricia V. Davis, rockin’ author and Middle-aged-Diva blog reader.
Yep. She reads this very blog, same as you.
Easy. Just answer this question below on this blog. Or, on Facebook. Or Google+.
One lucky winner will be drawn randomly this Sunday.
Unless we have 20 or more entrants, in which case Patricia will make TWO copies available–TWO winners.
Here’s the question:
If you could go back in time and tell your younger self only ONE thing, what would it be?
Answer in comments section below, on Facebook or Google+.
Why do you want this book? I’ll tell you why: its message about developing confidence and self-esteem is so good it has resonated with readers in a big way: it got 4.5 stars on Amazon, in fact.
I was shocked at the number of younger women I met at BlogHer last summer who openly discussed how their serious self-esteem issues limit their lives. Is there a young woman in your life who might feel the same way–even if she doesn’t talk so openly about it?
This is a book you will want to read, give to your teenage daughter, granddaughter, younger friends, peers–Patricia breaks it down with humor, insight and compassion and I agree with everything she says. That’s my copy in the photo above.
Share your wisdom with other readers….and good luck! (sorry for the duplicate post, long story)
If I had the oppurtunity to go back and tell my younger self one thing, I would have to say- Not to take myself too seriously. We all know how insecure our “younger selves” can be…Life moves quick for that nonsense.
Great question… I like this slow down comment and the don’t take yourself too seriously. I think I would tell my younger self “People tell you who they are so to listen to them. And listen to your gut instinct about them.” Especially on the dating front. I was so eager to please people that I got bulldozed regularly. I wish I could shake young women who I see fall into this.
Great question… I like this slow down comment and the don’t take yourself too seriously. I think I would tell my younger self “People tell you who they are so to listen to them. And listen to your gut instinct about them.” Especially on the dating front. I was so eager to please people that I got bulldozed regularly. I wish I could shake young women who I see fall into this.
Growing up, I was always in a hurry. Finish junior high, get to high school. Graduate from high school, get to college. Finish college, get to work. Get married. Have kids. Build a house.
I didn’t take any breaks along the way. As a teenager, summers were for internships. After college, I gave myself a weekend to move four states away and start my career. When I got married at 23, there was no time for a proper honeymoon. I needed to move out of state again for another job.
Oh, and don’t get me started with the childbearing years. I took a two-month maternity leave with my first child. But a year and a half later with my second, I took just two weeks as I reved up for all the diapers and child care, ballet lessons and baseball. The kids and I raced through our fast-food meals and never slowed down.
Now I look back and wonder. Did I think I would never make it to 35? Or that life would be over at 50? I’m here now and I’m shaking my head. Just what was the rush?
I’ve tried this three times, but can’t narrow in on one thing, because my younger self needs different advice at different times, so here’s my thought:
To the insecure teenager with low self esteem, “You are beautiful inside and out. Work with what God gave you, improve what you can and accept what you can’t. And stop fighting your hair – it’s straight, accept it and stop perming it!”
To the young woman in her 20s, “This youth is a gift and it won’t last forever. Enjoy your body and stop being so insecure about it. Wear a bikini! Wear slinky dresses! And take advantage of your energy, creativity and extra time – start writing that book.”
To the woman in her 30s, “Time is going to start flying by faster that you will believe, so slow down and be in the moment. Be present in the now and stop thinking about what you need to do or where you need to be.”
I would go back and tell my younger self that I am worth SO MUCH MORE than I was lead to believe… that I am BIGGER than the box that my parents, teachers, peers and society wanted to encase me in, for their own comfort, even though my potential as a WOMAN with a fully functional Brain was, and always will be, Suspect in the eyes of society as we know it now.
I think about this all the time!! There are so many things I’d go back and tell my younger self, but most of all — IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS! I feel like I’ve taken so many things in my life way too seriously, and I look back at them now and just laugh. I wish I would have had the confidence and spunk to let things go – especially when it came to my parents frustrating me, or boys upsetting me. I’m so glad that I’ve finally gotten to the point where I can look back and laugh, as well as look forward and laugh at what is to come. I’m able to look at my present day situations, and while I may not be in the best ‘place,’ I’m able to live it up and let things roll off my back. Life is so much more enjoyable when it’s not taken so seriously!!
I don’t buy the self-esteem meme. So if perchance, I win the darn book, we can raffle it off to someone who needs empowering in their inner-person of the female persuasion. With that in mind, I would have started earlier in the pursuit of character development. I wish I had taken up the practice of intentional ancient disciplines which have shaped outstanding men and women for centuries. Silence and solitude, Scripture memorization, celebration, confession, praise, to name a few. At the end of my life I will have only the person I’ve become to offer back to my Creator. That epiphany became laser-clear when my college-age son rebuked me for being unkind toward my saintly mother. My son’s rebuke landed squarely in my soul and knocked me into a new stage of intentional character development. The goal was to become Christ-like in word and deed. I have never regretted that and wish I’d started the intentional project earlier. That lifetime project is underway for all of us but I realized around 40-something that I was willy-nilly about the focus. The surest way to boost one’s esteem is to become a good person. I guess that’s the long and the short of what I wish I’d realized earlier.
My daughters are in college and very shy. I tell them to grab life by the horns, and that college is Eden, and it is like shooting fish in a barrel. Go up to a guy and start a conversation. FLirt. Same for meeting new women friends. And if you get shot down, move on to the next. There will never again be this chance to be with all your peers and enjoy life and new experiences.and.. You may never again look this good. beth
Apparently cheriO thinks your name gets tossed in the hat each and every time you enter another “Wish I’d known earlier” thought. Our dear friend is 3 4 three. Crackin’ me up out here in the Tundra.
@ Care, not sure how your last comment fits in with being a good person or following the basis tenents of Christianity or self- esteem/actualization. Judge not lest ye be judged. Just sayin’ 🙂
I wish I would have known that just because someone said I couldn’t do something, that didn’t make it true. My parents told me I had to be sweet, and that I couldn’t go to a big college, or “demand” what I thought I was worth, salary wise. They told me I couldn’t expect love to be amazing. My college counselor, who knew I had straight A’s my whole life, told me that I couldn’t double major and that I shouldn’t take astronomy because it was “a hard class”. I have been told “you can’t” too much and I have too often believed it!!! “You can’t just go through life living it on your own terms”. Really? watch me!!
I was a very lucky person in that I never thought to have low self esteem, the thought just never occured to me. The one thing I’d tell my younger self is:
Children grow up so fast. Give them all the time and all the love you possibly can, everything else can wait
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Got wisdom to share?
If I had the oppurtunity to go back and tell my younger self one thing, I would have to say- Not to take myself too seriously. We all know how insecure our “younger selves” can be…Life moves quick for that nonsense.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Baby steps.
Great question… I like this slow down comment and the don’t take yourself too seriously. I think I would tell my younger self “People tell you who they are so to listen to them. And listen to your gut instinct about them.” Especially on the dating front. I was so eager to please people that I got bulldozed regularly. I wish I could shake young women who I see fall into this.
Great question… I like this slow down comment and the don’t take yourself too seriously. I think I would tell my younger self “People tell you who they are so to listen to them. And listen to your gut instinct about them.” Especially on the dating front. I was so eager to please people that I got bulldozed regularly. I wish I could shake young women who I see fall into this.
Slow Down and Savor, Self!
Growing up, I was always in a hurry. Finish junior high, get to high school. Graduate from high school, get to college. Finish college, get to work. Get married. Have kids. Build a house.
I didn’t take any breaks along the way. As a teenager, summers were for internships. After college, I gave myself a weekend to move four states away and start my career. When I got married at 23, there was no time for a proper honeymoon. I needed to move out of state again for another job.
Oh, and don’t get me started with the childbearing years. I took a two-month maternity leave with my first child. But a year and a half later with my second, I took just two weeks as I reved up for all the diapers and child care, ballet lessons and baseball. The kids and I raced through our fast-food meals and never slowed down.
Now I look back and wonder. Did I think I would never make it to 35? Or that life would be over at 50? I’m here now and I’m shaking my head. Just what was the rush?
I’ve tried this three times, but can’t narrow in on one thing, because my younger self needs different advice at different times, so here’s my thought:
To the insecure teenager with low self esteem, “You are beautiful inside and out. Work with what God gave you, improve what you can and accept what you can’t. And stop fighting your hair – it’s straight, accept it and stop perming it!”
To the young woman in her 20s, “This youth is a gift and it won’t last forever. Enjoy your body and stop being so insecure about it. Wear a bikini! Wear slinky dresses! And take advantage of your energy, creativity and extra time – start writing that book.”
To the woman in her 30s, “Time is going to start flying by faster that you will believe, so slow down and be in the moment. Be present in the now and stop thinking about what you need to do or where you need to be.”
MKR
I would go back and tell my younger self that I am worth SO MUCH MORE than I was lead to believe… that I am BIGGER than the box that my parents, teachers, peers and society wanted to encase me in, for their own comfort, even though my potential as a WOMAN with a fully functional Brain was, and always will be, Suspect in the eyes of society as we know it now.
I think about this all the time!! There are so many things I’d go back and tell my younger self, but most of all — IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS! I feel like I’ve taken so many things in my life way too seriously, and I look back at them now and just laugh. I wish I would have had the confidence and spunk to let things go – especially when it came to my parents frustrating me, or boys upsetting me. I’m so glad that I’ve finally gotten to the point where I can look back and laugh, as well as look forward and laugh at what is to come. I’m able to look at my present day situations, and while I may not be in the best ‘place,’ I’m able to live it up and let things roll off my back. Life is so much more enjoyable when it’s not taken so seriously!!
Advice to my younger self:
1. Slow down
2. Breathe
3. Enjoy the moment
4. Learn from your mistakes
5. Keep moving forward
I love Cheri’s.
This comment has been removed by the author.
But Care, what’s YOUR advice?
I just thought of another message to my young self.
It’s OK, really, to be flat-chested. When you’re older, you can run, and nothing flops. You won’t sag. And men will think you are sexy. Really.
I don’t buy the self-esteem meme. So if perchance, I win the darn book, we can raffle it off to someone who needs empowering in their inner-person of the female persuasion.
With that in mind, I would have started earlier in the pursuit of character development. I wish I had taken up the practice of intentional ancient disciplines which have shaped outstanding men and women for centuries. Silence and solitude, Scripture memorization, celebration, confession, praise, to name a few.
At the end of my life I will have only the person I’ve become to offer back to my Creator. That epiphany became laser-clear when my college-age son rebuked me for being unkind toward my saintly mother. My son’s rebuke landed squarely in my soul and knocked me into a new stage of intentional character development. The goal was to become Christ-like in word and deed. I have never regretted that and wish I’d started the intentional project earlier.
That lifetime project is underway for all of us but I realized around 40-something that I was willy-nilly about the focus. The surest way to boost one’s esteem is to become a good person. I guess that’s the long and the short of what I wish I’d realized earlier.
My daughters are in college and very shy. I tell them to grab life by the horns, and that college is Eden, and it is like shooting fish in a barrel. Go up to a guy and start a conversation. FLirt. Same for meeting new women friends. And if you get shot down, move on to the next. There will never again be this chance to be with all your peers and enjoy life and new experiences.and.. You may never again look this good. beth
OK, one more:
Keep a journal. Hide it under the mattress, but write down all those crazy thoughts. Your older self will find them to be a gift.
Apparently cheriO thinks your name gets tossed in the hat each and every time you enter another “Wish I’d known earlier” thought. Our dear friend is 3 4 three. Crackin’ me up out here in the Tundra.
Absolutely FAB comments, so far. Thank you all for participating and to Carol for posting the question!
Warm regards,
Patricia
@ Care, not sure how your last comment fits in with being a good person or following the basis tenents of Christianity or self- esteem/actualization. Judge not lest ye be judged. Just sayin’ 🙂
I wish I would have known that just because someone said I couldn’t do something, that didn’t make it true. My parents told me I had to be sweet, and that I couldn’t go to a big college, or “demand” what I thought I was worth, salary wise. They told me I couldn’t expect love to be amazing. My college counselor, who knew I had straight A’s my whole life, told me that I couldn’t double major and that I shouldn’t take astronomy because it was “a hard class”. I have been told “you can’t” too much and I have too often believed it!!! “You can’t just go through life living it on your own terms”. Really? watch me!!
Anonymous ~ cheriO is one of my closest friends. I’m just razzin’ her. No need to be touchy.
High school is only a brief period in your life. Don’t worry about it too much.
Don’t be afraid….because it’s ALL good, all useful, to help you grow into the strong woman you’ll become.
I was a very lucky person in that I never thought to have low self esteem, the thought just never occured to me. The one thing I’d tell my younger self is:
Children grow up so fast. Give them all the time and all the love you possibly can, everything else can wait