“I’d kill for my kids,” she told me once. “They’ve always been my priority.”
They have nothing to do with her, any longer, though, because she was never their mom: she was their Dad. Before the surgery.
Now she lives a true life, as herself.
Herself.
Because nature played a vicious trick and made her physical self not match who she was inside. Her psyche. Her self image.
She was always a woman but, you might say, she suffered a birth defect in the match of her physical gender to her psyche.
She’s still the same person she was as Dad, just a different gender. But these kids won’t accept it. Grown kids. Super-accomplished kids who had every opportunity. Those opportunities were provided by their Dad, who did very well and made sure they could, too. To not take in the torment their father had to have been in his entire life? Shame on them.
So do they just not get it? or are they just stupid?
I would ask the same question of anyone who thinks that gender changes or even sexual orientation are something capricious, that people do on a whim. That these kind of decisions are a choice.
Hard to miss. If you don’t avert your eyes.
Because there has been a whole boatload of information out there about transgender, this mistake of nature, in recent years. So the idea that even with all the info that’s available, these children would reject their father for correcting a birth error? For living as her true self? It angers me even as it makes me sad.
I know people who think the former Bruce Jenner is faking it, too. Doing it for publicity. I mean, what the hell are these people smoking? What are the chances that a super-athlete with so many accomplishments would allow himself to be made a laughing stock by switching genders? Slim to none comes to mind.
Now, I don’t disagree that Caitlyn’s publicity and need to make a huge public deal of her switch on reality shows is shameful. But reality shows seem to be an aspiration for many, these days. I think she could’ve gone on with her change in a more tasteful manner. But that doesn’t change the fact that nature played a trick and her and she is correcting it.
What’s not to get about that?
It irks me when people try to force things into binary categories: black or white. Good or bad. Pro or con. The truth is that there are many shades of grey in our diverse culture and I see that as a good thing. It behooves us to guard against the knee-jerk reaction and look more closely at the nuances.
Because this lovely trans woman friend? She should not be treated this way by her children. No.
Related to this is all the information about how helpful medical marijuana is in many, many different applications.
And yet, some of these lawmakers act like it causes reefer madness.
What is it they don’t get? Are are they just stupid?
Here’s what I think: They’re just stupid. All of them.
And it’s all part of the dumbing down of America that’s gone on in my life time. Which upsets me greatly.
But then, there is the young couple I know of who gave their new baby a gender-neutral name. “In case later on she wants to change her gender.”
I’ve met a number of transgendered individuals–it’s not something one does on a whim.I don’t know why people think it’s their right to get into someone else’s business. The human body, the human mind is so complex and not the least bit straightforward. My job, our job, is to practice our humanity in a way that is accepting and tolerant, at the very least.
Maybe it doesn’t have anything to do with her transition. My parents simply turned out not to be what I thought all my life they were. I found out last November 5 and I am still processing it. I will eventually be fine, after all they are both dead and I am in my 60’s….but when you think one thing and it turns out that isn’t the truth at all, well, life is a place to figure it out. You are right it isn’t binary. But it is so complicated.
It is a hard truth of the society that people won’t accept the transgenders as a part of it. Equal rights and respect for everyone is what everyone desires.
The thing is the ‘dumbing down’ of America is not new. This person surely wouldn’t have even been able to get surgery 30 or 40 or 50 years ago. And the prejudices had to be even worse. Watching The Crown last night and then doing some research about the Royals and how divorced people and non-royals were never suitable spouses and how that changed so many people’s lives…well, there’s always been absurd prejudice and we see it so blatantly now. We can only be hopeful in the fact that so many have re-examined life and social mores and rejected so much in favor of real humanity.
I read an article when I was much younger about gender assignment surgeries that were done in the 50’s and it broke my heart. When my oldest grandson was born the hospital listed his sex as unknown. I couldn’t believe what I read all those years ago was happening to my family. Long, long story but we flat out refused any surgery and decided Kyle is Kyle and that’s all that matters.
My youngest daughter gave all 3 of her girls gender-neutral names too.
While I sympathize with your friends children, it must have been a shock but to them but there is no excuse for judging. We all need to learn to love harder especially when accepting is hard. I hope those kids let love win.
I try to always be open to everyone. I’ve never come across a transgendered person, but I would never ever judge someone because I don’t know what it’s like to identify as the opposite sex.
My best friend was gay. I loved him to death but everyone made fun of him. I know he would have been a transgender man but he let everyone around him rule his life. He died at a young age and although he was happy when we spent time together, I think he was unhappy.
As LIn Manuel says, love is love is love is love. It should be unconditional. I don’t understand people (part of my post today about people stop calling – where is the humanity?) We need more tolerance and walking around in each other’s shoes is a must. Carol, I am so afraid for our world. I am frighteningly afraid. Be who we are. Isn’t that what Gd wants us to do? Isn’t that the way it should be?
That’s horrible, how could anyone not accept a loved one for what he or she truly wants to become. Those kids are so ungrateful to the life that was given to them by their dad, how heartbreaking. I don’t get why people are still so close minded about these things and yet open to others. It just doesn’t make any sense.
Indeed there is hope Carol! We are in a pivotal moment in history and you and I might not be around to see what comes once the turn is over. We can only speak/write out truth for power to hear and read. 🙂
It’s sad to any family broken apart by conflict, regardless of what has caused it. I hope your friend is able to reconnect with their children one day … I can’t imagine being estranged from mine.
Thank you for bringing up this topic, it’s so hard for people to see that other people are different than them. Just because YOU feel like you are the correct gender, that does not mean that I feel the same way.
My daughter’s girlfriend is transgender and its so inspiring to see how the pair deal with this new journey together and yes it’s a difficult one for sure especially for young teenagers
Thank you for taking the time to write this. This is truly inspiring and educational for so many. It’s not necessary a correction just on transgender but identity of belief as well. I’ve known married men to woman whom after years of marriage left to be in a same sex relationship. I think there is still hope. All in due time, I guess.
it is truly sad that this womans children will not accept her for who she is. I believe that love knows no gender and one should never have to hide who they are,
I hope we are moving in a direction where we have a more understanding approach to things like this! I’m glad this woman is able to live as her authentic self and I hope her children grow to be more understanding.
I believe early on we are programmed to be male or female. It is something that you are born with. I am glad to see many people realizing and taking steps to make themselves the true them.
Is it dumbing down if so many more people are becoming aware, knwolegadble, and accepting of the many walks of life? I can’t speak for all millenials but the ones I know are very opens accepting to everyone
I don’t know any transgender people. But I will love them and not judge because only God is the one to judge other people. We need to love one another regardless if we agree with their lifestyles.
Transgender people are here and they are going to stay here. So, it doesn’t matter what the naysayers think. All they are doing is putting needless stress on themselves trying to solve a situation that they cannot solve. It’s sort of like trying to get rid of cars. They aren’t going away, so just accept it and be happy with it.
One of my dear friends is a transgender and it breaks my heart sometimes watch her struggle. I know that she will rise from all this hardship and become who she is on the inside already but I have nothing but love and patience for her.
Katja xxx http://www.katnapped.com
Sex preference is a hormone thing and is mostly connected to the brain activity. In fact if you were to not accept it creates more trouble than good to the person. Parents need to understand what lies under every act of their child, be more scientific and understanding
Makes me sad that people are judged for trying to make themselves more happy. If you’re born into a gender than you wish you weren’t and there’s options to change then go ahead, be happy. No one should stick their nose into somewhere that doesn’t involve them.
We must admit that people don’t accept transgenders despite how caring and true they are, and the society is definitely harsh on them. Her story is too hard to digest and shows how selfish those kids are!
Everyone should be allowed to live their truth without the judgment or interference of another. The physical body is the least important thing about us and yet it’s the one we focus the most on. Nice post!
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“I’d kill for my kids,” she told me once. “They’ve always been my priority.”
I’ve met a number of transgendered individuals–it’s not something one does on a whim.I don’t know why people think it’s their right to get into someone else’s business. The human body, the human mind is so complex and not the least bit straightforward. My job, our job, is to practice our humanity in a way that is accepting and tolerant, at the very least.
Maybe it doesn’t have anything to do with her transition. My parents simply turned out not to be what I thought all my life they were. I found out last November 5 and I am still processing it. I will eventually be fine, after all they are both dead and I am in my 60’s….but when you think one thing and it turns out that isn’t the truth at all, well, life is a place to figure it out. You are right it isn’t binary. But it is so complicated.
I believe they are just stupid and selfish. They don’t take the time to understand or to THINK. Yes, shame on them, the little shits.
It is a hard truth of the society that people won’t accept the transgenders as a part of it. Equal rights and respect for everyone is what everyone desires.
The thing is the ‘dumbing down’ of America is not new. This person surely wouldn’t have even been able to get surgery 30 or 40 or 50 years ago. And the prejudices had to be even worse. Watching The Crown last night and then doing some research about the Royals and how divorced people and non-royals were never suitable spouses and how that changed so many people’s lives…well, there’s always been absurd prejudice and we see it so blatantly now. We can only be hopeful in the fact that so many have re-examined life and social mores and rejected so much in favor of real humanity.
I say: Don’t judge others. Just don’t. Love them all.
I agree with you but you know we need all kind of person to build this word plenty of difference and diversity ,unfortunately it is what it is !!
I read an article when I was much younger about gender assignment surgeries that were done in the 50’s and it broke my heart. When my oldest grandson was born the hospital listed his sex as unknown. I couldn’t believe what I read all those years ago was happening to my family. Long, long story but we flat out refused any surgery and decided Kyle is Kyle and that’s all that matters.
My youngest daughter gave all 3 of her girls gender-neutral names too.
While I sympathize with your friends children, it must have been a shock but to them but there is no excuse for judging. We all need to learn to love harder especially when accepting is hard. I hope those kids let love win.
I try to always be open to everyone. I’ve never come across a transgendered person, but I would never ever judge someone because I don’t know what it’s like to identify as the opposite sex.
The world just needs to be a friendlier place!
I’ve never known a transgender person personally.
I can imagine that they have to be very brave to live in a world that judges them harshly.
Praying for all of them to live a happy blessed life, and for everyone to love each other without discrimination.
My best friend was gay. I loved him to death but everyone made fun of him. I know he would have been a transgender man but he let everyone around him rule his life. He died at a young age and although he was happy when we spent time together, I think he was unhappy.
I too hold on to the hope that we will find knowledgeable and compassionate enough to accept that we are all born with differences that are unique.
As LIn Manuel says, love is love is love is love. It should be unconditional. I don’t understand people (part of my post today about people stop calling – where is the humanity?) We need more tolerance and walking around in each other’s shoes is a must. Carol, I am so afraid for our world. I am frighteningly afraid. Be who we are. Isn’t that what Gd wants us to do? Isn’t that the way it should be?
My comment is as long as you like it then I love it. Be happy
That’s horrible, how could anyone not accept a loved one for what he or she truly wants to become. Those kids are so ungrateful to the life that was given to them by their dad, how heartbreaking. I don’t get why people are still so close minded about these things and yet open to others. It just doesn’t make any sense.
Indeed there is hope Carol! We are in a pivotal moment in history and you and I might not be around to see what comes once the turn is over. We can only speak/write out truth for power to hear and read. 🙂
It’s sad to any family broken apart by conflict, regardless of what has caused it. I hope your friend is able to reconnect with their children one day … I can’t imagine being estranged from mine.
We don’t care for reality shows either. Yes they’re dumb, but they’re also boring and predictable.
Thank you for bringing up this topic, it’s so hard for people to see that other people are different than them. Just because YOU feel like you are the correct gender, that does not mean that I feel the same way.
You are a human being. Gender does not matter at all as it is just a tag. The soul and heart of a person does not have any gender.
My daughter’s girlfriend is transgender and its so inspiring to see how the pair deal with this new journey together and yes it’s a difficult one for sure especially for young teenagers
Thank you for taking the time to write this. This is truly inspiring and educational for so many. It’s not necessary a correction just on transgender but identity of belief as well. I’ve known married men to woman whom after years of marriage left to be in a same sex relationship. I think there is still hope. All in due time, I guess.
Unfortunately we don’t know the whole story. Maybe they don’t want anything to do with him because of other issues and not the gender change.
it is truly sad that this womans children will not accept her for who she is. I believe that love knows no gender and one should never have to hide who they are,
I hope we are moving in a direction where we have a more understanding approach to things like this! I’m glad this woman is able to live as her authentic self and I hope her children grow to be more understanding.
I believe early on we are programmed to be male or female. It is something that you are born with. I am glad to see many people realizing and taking steps to make themselves the true them.
Is it dumbing down if so many more people are becoming aware, knwolegadble, and accepting of the many walks of life? I can’t speak for all millenials but the ones I know are very opens accepting to everyone
I don’t know any transgender people. But I will love them and not judge because only God is the one to judge other people. We need to love one another regardless if we agree with their lifestyles.
I don’t know what some people see in black and white. What a boring life that must be.
Transgender people are here and they are going to stay here. So, it doesn’t matter what the naysayers think. All they are doing is putting needless stress on themselves trying to solve a situation that they cannot solve. It’s sort of like trying to get rid of cars. They aren’t going away, so just accept it and be happy with it.
One of my dear friends is a transgender and it breaks my heart sometimes watch her struggle. I know that she will rise from all this hardship and become who she is on the inside already but I have nothing but love and patience for her.
Katja xxx
http://www.katnapped.com
Sex preference is a hormone thing and is mostly connected to the brain activity. In fact if you were to not accept it creates more trouble than good to the person. Parents need to understand what lies under every act of their child, be more scientific and understanding
Makes me sad that people are judged for trying to make themselves more happy. If you’re born into a gender than you wish you weren’t and there’s options to change then go ahead, be happy. No one should stick their nose into somewhere that doesn’t involve them.
Such a sensitive subject to write about. Kudos to you for having a voice and using it in a intimate way
We must admit that people don’t accept transgenders despite how caring and true they are, and the society is definitely harsh on them. Her story is too hard to digest and shows how selfish those kids are!
Everyone should be allowed to live their truth without the judgment or interference of another. The physical body is the least important thing about us and yet it’s the one we focus the most on. Nice post!