It’s out! I mean the anthology, Dumped: Women Unfriending Women, edited by Nina Gaby. And yes, I have an essay in it.
But that’s the minor news. The major news is that the book contains so much heart and soul that my own heart wants to burst. I read the entire collection in one sitting and was moved beyond belief at the emotions–some still raw after decades–expressed on the pages. What particularly struck me was the confusion at those endings that come without explanation. How truly baffled some women were when friends disappeared for no apparent reason. And I appreciated the insights, that wisdom that comes with time. And age.
This is really a good collection of essays and one you’ll think about for a very long time.
A framed photo fell out of a box in my garage the other day, one that depicted me standing under a birch tree in winter with another woman, someone no longer in my life.
It’s been a long time since the loss of that woman who stood with me in the photo, a loss I’ve worked hard to handle. And yet, looking at that picture, the both of us so much younger, before the schism, I still could feel the sadness for what was lost.
We invest so much in the women we loved, more than we might even realize, and the loss of even one is a wound that cuts deep.
At the same time, we can take consolation if we let loss help us value more those friends who know us and love us anyway.
Love us MORE, maybe, for our faults and the ways we might have let them down. For our being human.
No, the human condition ain’t pretty and sometimes we’re called upon to forgive, and forgive again.
A beautiful blog post/review of Dumped ended with this beautiful thought:
I feel a renewed appreciation for my women friends, who have unfriended and then friended again;
and for those, who have stayed staunch and true, accepting my idiosyncrasies and failings,
and loving me all the more for them.
The entire post is worth reading and you’ll find it here.
The book is also worth reading, and you’ll find it here. It’s getting really good reviews from people who know about these things. Maybe you want to pick up a few as birthday gifts for your closest friends. I’ve already done that.
Because one of best ways say I love you is to send this book with a note that says, “Hey! I’m so glad you’ve never dumped me!”