Not the stuff of romance

August 9, 2014

follow your heart

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

“The heart wants what the heart wants” is a truism that’s driven countless romance novels, because we can all relate.

There’s no accounting for what the heart wants and no arguing with it. It wants what it wants, whether it’s good for us or not.

A recent blog post posed the question, “Would you take an unfaithful husband back?”

But upon reading, it was clear that the issue wasn’t the infidelity as much as that the guy was a jerk and certainly not someone worthy of a second chance.

Not even if that’s what the heart wanted.

Although why the heart would want a jerk like that is beyond me.

But the heart can be… blind.

Which is why we need to haul the brain along.


In the throes of passion, the brain often disengages, just when we need it most.

Remember those days when passion ruled our lives?

Even today, it’s entirely possible to have all the passion in the world without any of the practicalities, as I call them.

The things that make a romance a relationship. That make it functional.

Because the heart wants what the heart wants.

And while it’s not the stuff of romance novels, it’s important to remember that we can always thank the heart for its input but explain that the brain’s in charge now.

And the brain is where our better sense prevails, if we call on it.

By all means, follow your heart.

But bring your brain with it.

23 comments on “Not the stuff of romance
  1. the problem is, the brain disengages when the heart takes over. i’m with you… i totally agree.

  2. All of this is a great reminder. I think it may also be the need for immediate pleasure or escape that gets folks into trouble. Been there. Done that. Thanks Carol.

  3. Liv says:

    You’re absolutely right. Following just your heart may get you into trouble.

  4. Honey Goode says:

    Emotion will take us into ups and lows if not balanced. Sometimes, when you are fully in love, you forget what’s right and wrong- u become blind. It is really a matte of bringing that love into balanced. Stay in control and always keep your self on guard. (We call it fall in love not rise in love for some reason 😛 )

  5. Scott says:

    Don’t forget the other part of the body that us males think with! 😉

  6. kim tackett says:

    For some of us, the way to our heart is smart conversation and a man who will do housework…that’s why we call it choreplay. But really, an engaged brain, now that’s sexy!

  7. Lana says:

    This is a lesson we’ve tried to teach our boys. It may be one that went in one ear and out the other though!

  8. Such a good reminder, and one that is critical we teach our children as they grow. Balance is always critical.

  9. I realize how truly lucky I was to fall in love with someone that was also good for me. The first time though was a disaster.

  10. Myke Todd says:

    The ability to separate love and lust is key to maintaining a relationship. I would imagine, this would be integral to putting a broken one back together.

  11. Maritza says:

    I’m better off with the brain part!

  12. Diane says:

    Good advice! 🙂

  13. Sometimes what we say we’d do while clucking with the hens is not what we’d really do if it involved us and our own rooster. None should be so cocky until it happens to them.

  14. Kathy says:

    I could have used this before my first marriage. Wonderful words of wisdom.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Follow Carol


Here you’ll find my blog, some of my essays, published writing, and my solo performances. There’s also a link to my Etsy shop for healing and grief tools offered through A Healing Spirit.


I love comments, so if something resonates with you in any way, don’t hesitate to leave a comment on my blog. Thank you for stopping by–oh, and why not subscribe so you don’t miss a single post?


Subscribe to my Blog

Receive notifications of my new blog posts directly to your email.