What they do doesn’t matter

January 18, 2016

forgive-themForgive them.

What they did? What they do or don’t do? Doesn’t matter.

The only thing that matters is what WE do.

That’s the bottom line.

36 comments on “What they do doesn’t matter
  1. It really all depends on what it is, but I try to forgive people because it takes too much energy to be angry. We are all imperfect human beings.

  2. Great reminder, Carol. Forgiving doesn’t mean condoning the bad behavior, or even maintaining a relationship with the offender. It just means setting yourself free from being consumed by anger and hurt.

  3. Forgiveness frees me up, even if I feel it might be undeserved!
    Thanks for this reminder, Carol!

  4. angie says:

    Forgiveness is something not always warranted but always given. It is best to always forgive but never to forget.

  5. Haralee says:

    Yes. It is like you can only control the controllables!

  6. Mary Hill says:

    Short sweet and to the point. We have to remember forgiveness is key to relationships and love.

  7. Terri says:

    Carol, why this is so timely for me is 1. My pastor talked about this yesterday, and 2. I came to grips with my brother-in-law’s alcoholic girlfriend who irritates me beyond belief. She doesn’t even know it , yet I carried my anger and other negative feelings around like a too-large carry-on bag. How freeing to finally just forgive and move on! And you said it so eloquently 🙂

  8. I agree with finding forgiveness in your heart and head, if for no other reason then to free the one who was wronged- however- forgiveness without remembrance can be a fool me once scenario, but I ‘get’ what your saying.

    • Yes, there is always a lesson, and the lesson might be to not engage with that person any more, — forgiveness is something internal that we do for ourselves. It doesn’t mean keep them around.

  9. Ellen Dolgen says:

    Thank you for the reminder! These words are so powerful! I have a very special mentor who always said not to let the hurt that people bestow upon us – change who we are. You are so right, we can only control ourselves. Letting go and being forgiving is empowering!

  10. Karen Austin says:

    Great advice! Holding a grudge doesn’t ever persuade others to treat you better. Letting go of hurt offers so much freedom and happiness!

  11. Helene Cohen Bludman says:

    Wise words. Sometimes it is so hard to forgive but it is the right thing to do, in most cases.

  12. Vidya Sury says:

    Perfectly said, Carol. Just forgive, it is all that matters. No analysis necessary. Love this short, sweet, powerful post!

  13. Powerful and effective poem that makes an impact. Though, it’s very hard to forgive..

  14. Beth Havey says:

    This is lovely. I learned years ago that forgiveness is for the one forgiving, not the one receiving that openness. To live with anger under your heart is destructive. To forgive allows you to walk away–but it’s not easy.

  15. Forgiving is always the right thing to do (though sometimes it can be hard). Forgetting? There are certainly some things one should never forget.

  16. Oh my goodness. This is something I’ve been struggling with and crying over for nearly a week. Talk about signs. Thank you. (Still… it’s not freakin’ easy… and I’ve not managed it yet.)

  17. andrea says:

    we forgive for ourselves – and not for anybody else. As long as we do what we need to do for ourselves…

  18. So true. As I always tell my kids, you can’t control other people’s actions. All you can control is your own reaction.

  19. Carolann says:

    You got that right! It’s all about our reactions and emotions…not someone else’s. It’s hard to forgive at times but harder to bear the burden of not forgiving.

  20. Kimberly says:

    Amen. Forgive them, forget about it and MOVE ON. They have defined themselves, not you.

  21. tp Keane says:

    I find it easier to forgive when the other person is actually sorry for what they did. I must work on forgiving regardless and letting go of the hurt.

  22. Elizabeth O. says:

    This is definitely true. I would rather be wary of my actions than the actions of other people. So long as you’re doing the right thing and you’re not hurting anyone.

  23. MyTeenGuide says:

    You are so right about this. What really matters is what we do and we’re not hurting other people. People may have hurt me, but I still forgive them.

  24. Estelle says:

    I’m not a very forgiving person, but this is beautifully stated.

  25. Womanzie says:

    I do think the same way sometimes, but, sometimes it is very hard for me to forgive people. I am confused actually.

    Dop read my post http://www.womanzie.com/2016/01/relive-my-golden-shantiniketan-days.html

  26. So true, Carol, but certainly not an easy option.

  27. Shalini says:

    True that! So nicely put in so few words! Thanks for sharing. It somehow struck a cord.

  28. Virginia says:

    Very true! Just the words I needed to hear!

  29. Your blog post today is a good reminder to forgive people even if they aren’t sorry. Which is hard to do.. but totally possible!

  30. This is something I’ve been struggling with… But thanks for great reminder that forgiving people and move on is the best thing!!

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