See me…feel me…touch me…heal me….
Listening to you, I get the music
From you, I get opinions
From you, I get the story.
Oh, the gift of being seen. Do most people really see you? Really get you?
Most of us think we’re pretty easy to understand, but are we really?
Or do we think we are because we hold our own key?
We know our motivations, our thoughts and our history, and that does give us a leg up as far as understanding goes. And I’ve been very guilty of thinking others should “get” me. After all, I’m a ‘what you see is what you get” girl who is simple to understand, right?
Well, not so fast.
People come at any interaction with their own history, biases and beliefs. Yes, even beliefs about us and how we are. No matter if they match up to how we really are. That’s why being seen for who we are is such a big gift.
When my husband re-engaged with me decades after our divorce, I protested, “But we haven’t even seen each other in 26 years!” His response was simple: “Do you think I don’t know who you are?”
That response was a gift.
Because, yes, he knew me–the good, the bad and even the ugly.
Really taking someone in? Seeing them? The biggest gift anyone could give.
I remember the day a very good friend saw me. Maybe REALLY saw me, for the first time, although our friendship was decades long. I remember it clearly. She was battling a big health issue and was not feeling well at all. I was heading to the east coast for an important event.
“Do you have to go?” she asked.
Without hesitation, I replied, “No. I don’t. I’ll stay.”
I cancelled my trip.
The look on her face was something I’ll never forget: It was a combination of surprise (maybe even shock) and wonder. It was a moment in which I could tell she really saw who I am. And even after so many years, it surprised her. Maybe she was even wondering if she would do the same thing for me. Or for anyone.
Doesn’t matter. My own priorities were clear and what anyone else would do was irrelevant.
Who takes the time to really take you in?
Those are important people, for sure.
Oh, and that friend? She inspired all of these.