Not a girl’s girl

October 5, 2014

pret;ty dress watermk

“But you know, she’s not a girl’s girl, you know what I mean?”

My friend was talking about someone we both know who had been particularly ungracious in a social situation.

Of course, that person was just plain rude, which is an entirely different category.


The conversation made me think:

What IS a girl’s girl, anyway?

I’ve seen a variety of definitions.

But here’s what I think it boils down to:

a girl’s girl is someone other women want to be around. It’s as simple as that.

It usually means that they’re fun. They like to laugh. A lot.

That they don’t backbite.  They’re not suspicious of the motives of other women.

They don’t think they have to be the only princess in the room.

They’re nice to other people and gracious, especially to other women. (Ungracious behavior is what I think my friend was referring to.)

A girl’s girl likes girly stuff, like cosmetics and pretty dresses.

No, a girl’s girl isn’t giddy or anything. She just likes the feminine.

Yes, a feminine girl’s girl can be a feminist. A common misconception about the label, feminist, is that we aren’t feminine. So wrong.

A guy’s girl is someone guys can talk to over a beer. And can laugh with.

I think I’m a girl’s girl and a guy’s girl, too and I don’t think the two are mutually exclusive.

So, which are you?

I’m interested in what you think about the distinction, or if there is even a distinction to be made.



8 comments on “Not a girl’s girl
  1. I am a girl’s girl. I love my woman friends. I like men, and have some good friendships outside my marriage with a few–but mainly because the READ interesting books and we talk over a coke, about them. I am not a golf, tennis, basketball,paddle tennis or football woman–I do love hockey, and was a pro-skier and horse back rider.When I met my totally sports oriented husband, we went to Madison Square garden at least once a month.
    We recently rented our cottage to the nicest gal–a woman who worked at a nearby prep school. She coached basketball–her sport while attending Middlebury–and she often stopped in for dinner ( no cooking skills for that one). My husband LITE up when she walked in , especially when there was a game on TV.Often times I’d bid them both goodnight and retire to watch The Good Wife upstairs. She was a bit manly at 6 foot, but pretty, and bit “bro-ish ” on the outside- A marshmallow on the inside. It’s an interesting subject and I do think it has a lot to do with how you are raised–especially for a woman.

  2. Laura says:

    I love girly stuff and I hope to be a woman other women would like to be around. I avoid women who are competitive with one another because their energy wears on me. Gossiping about one another is a bad habit I worked years to break. It was a false way of bonding. I’ve since learned to bond on a positive level with women.

  3. Lana says:

    You did a great job describing a girl’s girl. I think I’m both too, just like you.

  4. MarcIa pilaR says:

    Love girly stuff and completely feminine but 100% a guy’s girl. Women are much too suspicious and jealou with each other. No drama with guys,

  5. Marcia says:

    I am feminine, fun, laughter is in my DNA, I celebrate all persons, put the spotlight away from myself and on others, and I refuse to speak negative of anyone especially if they are not in my presence, but I have never been or ever will be the down-to-the-bottom-line girl’s girl. By this I mean, taken in by most women. With the exception of my daughter and one dear friend/sister of many years, I have always been more comfortable with male friends, including my husband of over 30 years. I have a son and a daughter. I am not bias. Women tend to be much harder on each other. In general, not all including myself, like to gossip, criticize and judge a whole lot more heartlessly than a guy will ever even notice. Good post.

  6. Jessica says:

    I think you’re mistaken about what a girl’s girl is. It has nothing to do with style or appearance. A girl’s girl is a women who had other women’s back. You don’t have to worry about her trying to take your boyfriend or talking bad on you to other people. She understands we shouldn’t be fighting over mens attention. She can dress masculine or feminine but she dresses for herself. A guys girl is often a “pick me” the type of girl to talk bad on you to try to gain favor with men and make herself seem better than you.

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