Go to sleep. Ok, go the f*** to sleep!

January 18, 2022

go-to-sleepCommenters on a Washington Post story  about insomnia had some good suggestions to help us go to sleep. Some were actually new to me–and I thought I’d heard every suggestion known to woman. So I’ve compiled them.

But first, let me tell you my latest find, working like a charm. It’s a podcast called Nothing Much Happens: bedtime stories to help you sleep. It’s written so that…nothing happens. There is nothing to engage you.  The writer narrates and Kathryn Nicolai’s voice is very sleep-inducing. I am usually out within five minutes. Or less.

I had been listening to audio books on Audible to get to sleep, but got so involved in storylines that they kept me awake instead of put me to sleep. But Nothing Much Happens is working well for me. I’ve seen it on Audible and on Amazon Music. I’m sure you can find it anywhere. Free.

Here are some other techniques:

Stare at something in your natural eye-line as you try to fall asleep. Do all you can to keep your eyes open and focused on that spot. The commenter claims it’s difficult  to keep this up for longer than 10 minutes without falling asleep.

The old favorite, concentrate on breathing, long and slow. Sounds simple, but it does work, especially if. you keep at it.

Pick a category, such as produce. Then think of at least one thing for each letter of the alphabet. Apple, banana and so on. You could choose cars. Or animals. Whatever.

Is there a narrator who always puts you in a coma? One commenter said for her it is David Attenborough and another said Joe Biden. Whatever works.

I liked the suggestion to repeat the mantra “My body is heavy and my mind is light.”

Another found a beautiful podcast called “Nothing much happens bedtime stories for adults,” which the reader claimed has some of the most vividly descriptive narration ever heard. It’s calming, they said, and it is.

Visualize a blank wall. Focus on the wall. Keep returning to that image when your mind wanders. Focus.

I know someone who thinks of the color orange. That does it for him.

This one the reader calls “beditate.” Take three deep audible sighs. Then listen hard to whatever ambient sounds are around you, electricity going through the wire, cars, the dog snoring. They claim listening stops monkey mind.

Can you hear your own heartbeat? Here’s another idea: Listen hard to your own heartbeat & you will be in dreamland before you know it.

Got a tried and true method that helps you fall asleep? Share it below. Oh, and this:

If all else fails, try Samuel L. Jackson’s famous “Go the F*** to Sleep video” right here. 

Oh, and maybe you have loved ones healing or grieving. Find them some support HERE.

18 comments on “Go to sleep. Ok, go the f*** to sleep!
  1. I think you wrote this for me! I’m a total insomniac. Some people sleep. I think. And think. It’s annoying. Great suggestions!

  2. That’s hysterical, stories where nothing happens. Why didn’t I think of that?

  3. Rena says:

    I am a chronic insomniac and have been for years. I typically read after I play my nightly brain games, but I’m still up to 2 am most nights. I’ve learned to live on 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night.

  4. Diane says:

    I use your trick of counting my exhales. I’m going to try the sight thing. And looking into the stories where nothing happens! (Of course, author brain may try to fill in the holes…) 😉

  5. Kristine says:

    I will have to try that! Insomniac for years… X

  6. Laurie Stone says:

    Love this. I try and wake early each morning which helps me get sleepy each night. But for those restless nights, I agree finding something tedious to focus on (like what I ate that day or the alphabet game) helps a lot. And I love the stories where nothing happens! Will have to look into that.

  7. Irene Jacobson says:

    Thanks Carol, good information. Sometimes I sleep wonderfully and other weeks are just so hard. I just accessed Nothing Much Happens on my Amazon music, I’ll see how it goes tonight. Thanks again!

  8. Meryl says:

    I am one of the lucky folks who usually have no trouble falling asleep. When I can’t fall asleep, reading will put me out quickly. I find myself reading a page and having no idea what I just read. But it calms and lets me sleep…finally.

  9. I take a bath before going to bed. That always relaxes me.

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