Going home, coming home

July 9, 2011
How good it feels to be home in California after a week in my hometown,
even when that week was a joyous one. Our dogs,
our house, our bed, our routine.

Going “home” to my city of birth has been often stressful and fraught with negativity. Not so this time. One of the reasons was my very difficult decision to let go of painful and negative relationships.

It’s never easy to accept that the intimacy of family sometimes just does not work the way mythology says it should. As difficult as it can be, there are times when we must let people go from our lives–with love and forgiveness—but let them go nonetheless.

Sometimes, self-preservation dictates that we must redefine “family”
in a healthier way.

Doing that freed us to have the most fun visit I’ve had to Rochester in a very long time. My ex-sister-in-law –whom I’m now calling ‘sister-friend’ — was a wonderful hostess. We spent time with people we love, laughing (sometimes crying with laughter). We walked Handsome Henry the dog. We kibitzed with our nephew and his friends. We talked travel, life, play, childhood, afterlife.
We dined out, we dined in. We saw a favorite aunt, favorite cousins, favorite friends.

But mostly, we laughed.
Something that should be liberally applied to life in general.

And now, home again.

Off to writing workshop in San Francisco this morning
and back to our own routine.

One comment on “Going home, coming home
  1. For me, the hardest thing was finally figuring out that I needed to detach myself from my expectations of how I wanted them to be. Letting go of wanting to fix them was hard for me, but it set me free to love them as they are.
    Great message and I’m glad you got to enjoy your family.

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