Some relationships are complicated, or so we think. But they’re really far more simple than that. Most would consider this one a rebound, and it was. And so much more.
He was my knight in shining armor when I badly needed one to ride up and save me. He was joy and light and happiness at a time when it seemed like the darkness in my world would never leave. He was sweetness and love and his honeyed accent could melt steel. He was a soothing balm for my wounds.
Our wedding day, with his parents. 1981.
And then, he wasn’t.
The rest of the story isn’t pretty.
There are plenty of reasons for me to hate him, if hate was something I did. Which it isn’t. So I don’t need to share the details, although I remember them all.
I moved on after our divorce more than 30 years ago –not without difficulty, either. He was incredibly important to me and I hate disconnections. Always have. And I adored his parents, who were so kind to me in every way, even though I was a “Yankee girl.” And his beautiful daughter, on whom his sun rose and set.
It took some disentangling.
David & his beloved Boris.
After I finally moved forward, all I really wanted to remember was how he showed up when I needed it. How present he was at the start. And I could only honor him for that. For what he was to me in that brief period of time. Just a few years. But years I needed to regain myself.
I always laugh when I hear the adage that people can come into your life for a reason and a season. This has been so true for me and was so true of us. A season and a reason.
David, when the angels came for you last night, I know they saw what I saw: that pure heart, battered and bruised from a difficult life. But still pure. I hope you know I remember. And that I thank you for all you were and still are to me.
Godspeed, love. Come visit and tell me what you’re up to now. And comfort your beautiful daughter, whom you loved more than life. The best of you lives on in her and her children.
But then, you know that. You know everything, now.
I am so sorry! Even with an old love there are still those complicated feelings. There is still love and probably more understanding now that we’re older. It still hurts.
I’m so sorry. I think sometimes it’s the “it’s complicated” didn’t work out but a part of me will love you forever relationships that are the most difficult at passing. I was a wreck when my second ex husband died for too many reasons. I have told my first exhuband he can’t go before me simply because I like him being in this world—but not in my day to day life!
How beautiful to remember the beautiful!
I’m so happy for him that he could go on, but sad for those who will miss him. He does know…now.
And how inspiring you are to me when you focus only on all that is worth keeping.
Yes, Diane, you’re right. It is all about focusing on what is worth keeping. And no matter, there is something worth keeping. Even if it’s just a lesson. But more in his case, of course.
I understand because I’ve been there. I’m glad he was there for you when you needed him. How good and strong you are to look at it that way. xoxox, Brenda
That was a beautiful post honouring someone who brought you love when you needed it most. I’m so sorry for his passing, and at the same time I love how you could share his legacy here in such a positive and thoughtful post Carol.
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Some relationships are complicated, or so we think. But they’re really far more simple than that. Most would consider this one a rebound, and it was. And so much more.
I am so sorry! Even with an old love there are still those complicated feelings. There is still love and probably more understanding now that we’re older. It still hurts.
Yes, hard to go through but always with a lesson.
Not everyone grows in understanding but if we can, it pays off, doesn’t it, RE?
This truly brought tears to my eyes. I’m sorry for your past pain and your current sorrow.
Susan, thank you so much.
He has to be a bit surprised right now. LOL
Sorry to hear this.. sending love and hugs your way
Mich, we are SO overdue!
I’m so sorry. I think sometimes it’s the “it’s complicated” didn’t work out but a part of me will love you forever relationships that are the most difficult at passing. I was a wreck when my second ex husband died for too many reasons. I have told my first exhuband he can’t go before me simply because I like him being in this world—but not in my day to day life!
That’s funny but in a poignant way, Pia.
So sorry to hear about your loss, Carol.Wishing him peace.
Rebecca, thank you. I know you have had a year of loss, yourself.
What a beautiful tribute. Like many of us, he sounds complex, with both the good and the challenging. I hope the good memories bring you comfort.
OMG was he complex! But I can never forget the great joy he brought me when I needed it most. Its that part that makes me cry today.
What a beautiful tribute.
Thank you, my friend.
How beautiful to remember the beautiful!
I’m so happy for him that he could go on, but sad for those who will miss him. He does know…now.
And how inspiring you are to me when you focus only on all that is worth keeping.
Yes, Diane, you’re right. It is all about focusing on what is worth keeping. And no matter, there is something worth keeping. Even if it’s just a lesson. But more in his case, of course.
Sorry for your loss. Complicated feeling, but you will remember the positive he brought into your life at a time you needed it. Beautiful remembrance.
Yes, and his beautiful daughter is still in touch and I see how his heart lives on in her.
This was beautiful. I’m so sorry.
Thanks, Bonnie. xox
I am so sorry for your loss, Carol. Your heart was beautifully expressed here.
Thanks, Joy. There is always value.
A beautiful tribute. I am sorry for your loss.
aw , thank you, Alana.
“Oh isn’t life a terrible thing? Thank God.” Dylan Thomas
It’s complex. Condolences.
I love that quote, thank you for sharing.
I understand because I’ve been there. I’m glad he was there for you when you needed him. How good and strong you are to look at it that way. xoxox, Brenda
He was there. There was that moment in time….and today my grief is so deep it surprised me. Mourning for those younger people we were.
That was a beautiful post honouring someone who brought you love when you needed it most. I’m so sorry for his passing, and at the same time I love how you could share his legacy here in such a positive and thoughtful post Carol.
there was a time he meant the world to me. I’ll never forget that.
What a beautiful tribute.It’s lovely you can remember him favorably. Thanks for sharing this.
A beautiful and moving tribute. May his memory be a blessing.
Love this picture of you. Lovely piece.
Yeah, we all looked great at 30!
What a wonderful tribute. Very sweetly thought out and written!
Oh there was no thinking…it was all heart. It’s how it came out, first draft. xoxo