Gracious manners long gone

July 17, 2013

Sorella (u know who u are), you epitomize “gracious.” In comparison, I seem like a bitch. Ok, compared to many, I seem like a bitch. But I’m gracious.

It’s a lost art, that’s what I’ve noticed. Being gracious is all too rare in our world today and I can point to multiple examples of that.

Have you sent an email with thoughtful information you think the recipient would enjoy? Or one that provides the addressee with something they actually wanted? And has it been met with stone cold silence? Do you wonder if it’s gone into a black hole? It has to have been swallowed up because you never got a response, much less a thank-you.

Seriously, how hard is it to type two words and hit “send”? Thank. You. Easy as can be.

I’m not even talking about the business-related  email that gets no response to indicate receipt. And no answer if you’ve asked a question.

How about the clueless person who is so self-involved they have to have everything their way? Everything. Collaboration, gracious compromise–nonexistent.

Even when others are doing them a favor or have extenuating circumstances, they simply won’t give. They’ll stretch and stretch, split hairs and otherwise work overtime to be sure they have it their way. (Hold the pickles.)

Not. Gracious.

And you really don’t want to get me started about the number of people who fail to RSVP to big events like weddings and small events like parties. These kind of people have no regard for any planning the inviter has to do, even if it’s catered. This happens ALL THE TIME.

When M. and I remarried we had a catered reception. Our plans revolved around the head count. We didn’t want to pay for food and drink that would go to waste. And yet, almost a third of the invitees failed to respond at all. One couple asked if they could bring a friend of theirs. Not a house guest, a local. To our wedding reception meant for our dearest friends. For which we were paying a pretty penny.  I mean. Seriously?

These are not clueless people. What they are is ungracious.

I have one word for them.

No, actually, I have four:

Learn manners

Yes, I took this photo & captioned it.


10 comments on “Gracious manners long gone
  1. Julie Phelps says:

    Splurt! Made me laugh and splurt coffee that was intended to be swallowed rather than splurted! That bit about not thanking for a helpful email, much less responding to it, is a pet peeve of mine.

  2. Tamara T. says:

    Love this! We all need to be reminded from time to time to treat people with kindness and curtsey! 🙂

  3. I like your distinction between clueless (oblivious) and ungracious (rude). My son, one of the most gracious and oblivous people on the planet recently left his apartment door wide open when he left for work. Not unlocked, but walk-right-in-and-help-yourself-wide-open. That’s clueless. A writer friend of mine became published after a very long road. I bought the book, read it overnight and sent an email that was the most enthusiastic and supportive of the many we exchanged. No response. Not then, not later, not ever. Not gracious.

  4. admin says:

    Wow, Susan. The author defines “not gracious”. I hate to see manners go by the wayside. I associate with someone who absolutely does not respond even to questions that need answering. This makes me insane.
    I am always torn on social media, when there are many FB comments and I am so busy. but it only takes an instant to click “like” if I have time.

  5. Clueless is right. Our society has lost its way with common courtesy and graciousness. There just isn’t enough training and appreciation for these values. That is why I feel such a responsibility to be a good example of these traits, especially to teenagers and young adults.

  6. Susan Cooper says:

    I totally agree that manners are a thing of the past for many people. Some of that is the anonymity of the internet and computers. it all starts from home. 🙂

  7. lee aldrich says:

    Oh. My. Gosh! Have you somehow heard my rants about this when I thought I was alone? You are preachin’ to the choir! Drives me NUTS ( and lord knows some days it’s a short trip) when people don’t respond, don’t say thanks, don’t say received……

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