You’ve probably all heard so much about how to manifest things you’re ready to throw up, right? Thousands of bloggers and life coaches and self-help gurus put forth their ideas on The Law of Attraction and other things that teach us this: that thinking about something you want attracts it to you magically, like you were a wish magnet. Ideas become things, they tell us. And blah, blah, blah.
Now, I don’t know that there’s anything magical about it. Ideas do become things, if you focus and work hard enough on them. Don’t ever doubt the hard work part.
But today I want to talk about how we give negative things power by keeping them alive in our psyches. By not letting go of them and in fact obsessing over them, long after they serve any purpose, if they ever did. By working overtime to keep bad things in their sphere.
Yes, people do this. All the time. Some people. They work really, really hard to keep this negative stuff going. It’s inexplicable.
Look, all our lives are muddy. People betray us. We lose jobs. We don’t win a contest. Our kids aren’t honor students. And yes, sometimes people will even try to harm us in ways large and small. I know this first hand.
Every day we have a choice: we can wallow in it or we can climb out, scrub off the mud and move on.
I don’t know about you, but I’d rather put on a feathered hat, a pair of great pumps and a sequinned stole and strut my fabulous self.
Who cares what other people think? What matters is what we think about ourselves. And that matters. Because ideas, especially our own, become things.
So. What do we choose to give power to? The negative? or the positive?
Of course we want to give power to the positive, but sometimes, you have to process it first. I recently had a run in with the local librarian, a known nut job-I was incensed and called the library’s director He then told me there are two sides to every story and he has heard both and perhaps we should all be grown ups and “just let this go and move-on,” blah,blah,blah ( he’s a known wuss) But I didn’t want to let it go! I wanted to be acknowledged and apologized to ( I was in the right, I have witnesses!!!) So I told a bunch of close pals how indignant I was and what jerks everyone else was and how I will never set foot in the library ever again (well, not for a few months anyway) and THEN I could let it go. But it was a two week process and now I feel much better.
Good post Carol! Many of my friends who have chosen to allow negative thoughts to foster end up with anxiety attacks and all their joy goes down the drain. I decided about eleven years ago to not allow anyone or any thought to rob my joy! So, I live one day at a time and one thought at a time and when I feel the negative attacks coming on…I mentally say STOP! For me, it also takes prayer…but you have to make a determination to not allow negativity to foster!
The bigger the hurt, the harder it is to get past sometimes – but indeed I do and as quickly as possible because I always feel so much better afterward. Negativity is so disruptive to everything we do and think and it will never give us any peace. I’m with you! Think positive, move on … and “put on a feathered hat, a pair of great pumps and a sequinned stole and strut my fabulous self.” Absolutely LOVE that!!! 🙂
I have been working for years on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for various reasons, but mostly to replace negative thoughts with positive to reduce stress, increase self-esteem and bring more positive vibes to the Universe. It’s helping.
Another great post Carol. So much of it for me is turning down the noise in my head. It rarely has to do what others think, but that damn little voice can send “hex messages,” which means my challenge is to spot them before they take root. As you said, Ideas do become things, I for one want what’s left of my time here to not be confined by previous negative energy. So three cheers to strutting one’s stuff–whatever form that takes!
Sometimes it is hard to get our dance back, as we all face disappointment/hur. Like you Carol. I like to find the joy in each day. I have control over MY day! I choose to be positive. I locking arms with you in my feathered hat, a pair of great pumps and a sequinned stole!
My mother had a saying that I often hear in my head (this happens to me a lot!): “Life is too short….”; the end of the sentence is __________fill in the blank. I try to operate from that position and I’m usually successful. But then, as Ryder said, there are some things that must be processed–and dealt with–before I turn away from them. Of course it helps, as Nancy puts it, that getting older is not caring so much what people think. I call these my Who Gives A Shit years–and most of the time, they are.
I think when I was younger I did more processing out loud. As I aged I did it more selectively and now, I can get there not only more quickly, but with less processing. I think my view changed.
I’ve been working exceptionally hard lately to be positive, stay positive, despite some mud hardening on parts of my world. I’ve not put on the pumps — I’ve NEVER been one to wear high heels of any sort — but I’m all for the feathered cap and sequins.
Perfectly said as usual! I’m so excited about your Sicily trip it’s always been a dream of mine. Take lots of pictures and come back with lots of stories with your “new” relatives!
I watched this unfold, yet again, over the weekend actually. One couple decided they had been slighted by a couple. Then this couple went to everyone else, in the large social group, to get everyone else to agree that they were right and the others were wrong; unfortunately, nobody else felt that way. This slighted couple was so adamant about their case and just wouldn’t let it go. In the end they alienated everyone else in the rather large group and no matter now many times people tried to help them let go of the slight, they wouldn’t.
I tried asking what they hoped to accomplish and if they felt the friendship of the whole group was worth hearing “you’re right” by a few people. They had to decided what they felt was more important; it was sad to see everyone’s frustration with the situation as their years of friendship ended over a missed invite to a party..
One of my uncles recommended a book about Course in Miracles. It focuses on how language (spoken or internal) shapes our reality. It encourages people to recognize that they are co-creators of reality. I do believe in the power of positive thinking and the power of visualization. Thanks for nudging me along further towards choosing my attitude/thoughts.
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You could not have said it better! Great!
“I don’t know about you, but I’d rather put on a feathered hat, a pair of great pumps and a sequinned stole and strut my fabulous self.”
Oh, baby – Preach, preach, preach. (And by-the-way, I’m going to steal this sentence because it is epic.)
Thanks for sharing…
Yeah, i got sick of my own whining long ago!
Of course we want to give power to the positive, but sometimes, you have to process it first. I recently had a run in with the local librarian, a known nut job-I was incensed and called the library’s director He then told me there are two sides to every story and he has heard both and perhaps we should all be grown ups and “just let this go and move-on,” blah,blah,blah ( he’s a known wuss) But I didn’t want to let it go! I wanted to be acknowledged and apologized to ( I was in the right, I have witnesses!!!) So I told a bunch of close pals how indignant I was and what jerks everyone else was and how I will never set foot in the library ever again (well, not for a few months anyway) and THEN I could let it go. But it was a two week process and now I feel much better.
Are you kidding? For some things it’s taken YEARS for me to let go. But now it happens within hours. Progress!
Excellent advice! Although I’m going to strut my own stuff wearing comfortable shoes, faded jeans and a T shirt.
Yeah, I was speaking metaphorically. 😉
Good post Carol! Many of my friends who have chosen to allow negative thoughts to foster end up with anxiety attacks and all their joy goes down the drain. I decided about eleven years ago to not allow anyone or any thought to rob my joy! So, I live one day at a time and one thought at a time and when I feel the negative attacks coming on…I mentally say STOP! For me, it also takes prayer…but you have to make a determination to not allow negativity to foster!
I agree.
The bigger the hurt, the harder it is to get past sometimes – but indeed I do and as quickly as possible because I always feel so much better afterward. Negativity is so disruptive to everything we do and think and it will never give us any peace. I’m with you! Think positive, move on … and “put on a feathered hat, a pair of great pumps and a sequinned stole and strut my fabulous self.” Absolutely LOVE that!!! 🙂
It’s like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die!
Great timing…with controversy swirling within the extended family I need to do some letting go!
I have been working for years on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for various reasons, but mostly to replace negative thoughts with positive to reduce stress, increase self-esteem and bring more positive vibes to the Universe. It’s helping.
It works!
Another great post Carol. So much of it for me is turning down the noise in my head. It rarely has to do what others think, but that damn little voice can send “hex messages,” which means my challenge is to spot them before they take root. As you said, Ideas do become things, I for one want what’s left of my time here to not be confined by previous negative energy. So three cheers to strutting one’s stuff–whatever form that takes!
I hear you about the volume knob.
Sometimes it is hard to get our dance back, as we all face disappointment/hur. Like you Carol. I like to find the joy in each day. I have control over MY day! I choose to be positive. I locking arms with you in my feathered hat, a pair of great pumps and a sequinned stole!
😉 And that birthday shot of you? Gorgeous!
The best thing about getting older is not caring so much what people think.
I choose to look at the positive and I’m so much happier!
More confidence is always a good thing!
My mother had a saying that I often hear in my head (this happens to me a lot!): “Life is too short….”; the end of the sentence is __________fill in the blank. I try to operate from that position and I’m usually successful. But then, as Ryder said, there are some things that must be processed–and dealt with–before I turn away from them. Of course it helps, as Nancy puts it, that getting older is not caring so much what people think. I call these my Who Gives A Shit years–and most of the time, they are.
I think when I was younger I did more processing out loud. As I aged I did it more selectively and now, I can get there not only more quickly, but with less processing. I think my view changed.
Great post! I’d much rather manifest the positive than the negative. It isn’t always easy to keep our chin(s) up, but it’s always worth the effort!
ALWAYS!
I’ll take a daily dose of positivity over gulping a gallon of negativity ANY day! There’s no future in “No”.
I’ve been working exceptionally hard lately to be positive, stay positive, despite some mud hardening on parts of my world. I’ve not put on the pumps — I’ve NEVER been one to wear high heels of any sort — but I’m all for the feathered cap and sequins.
Cheers to positivity!
I hate dwelling in the past! Here’s to the future!
Perfectly said as usual! I’m so excited about your Sicily trip it’s always been a dream of mine. Take lots of pictures and come back with lots of stories with your “new” relatives!
Love it! I’m strutting my fabulous self in a t-shirt and yoga pants!
Everyone – EVERYONE – should read this, Carol! You strut your fabulous stuff! And I will do the same!!!
You ALWAYS strut your fab stuff, Diane!
You go, girl. That’s the best choice. Getting up and making a fabulous comeback after life pushed into the mud.
I watched this unfold, yet again, over the weekend actually. One couple decided they had been slighted by a couple. Then this couple went to everyone else, in the large social group, to get everyone else to agree that they were right and the others were wrong; unfortunately, nobody else felt that way. This slighted couple was so adamant about their case and just wouldn’t let it go. In the end they alienated everyone else in the rather large group and no matter now many times people tried to help them let go of the slight, they wouldn’t.
I tried asking what they hoped to accomplish and if they felt the friendship of the whole group was worth hearing “you’re right” by a few people. They had to decided what they felt was more important; it was sad to see everyone’s frustration with the situation as their years of friendship ended over a missed invite to a party..
One of my uncles recommended a book about Course in Miracles. It focuses on how language (spoken or internal) shapes our reality. It encourages people to recognize that they are co-creators of reality. I do believe in the power of positive thinking and the power of visualization. Thanks for nudging me along further towards choosing my attitude/thoughts.
The CIM is good stuff.