Soul families and souls set apart

September 21, 2014
jersey boat watermk

Sunset, Jersey shore

I’ve always been an observer, someone who’s felt set apart from the crowd, moored a little out from shore. Truth is, I have always been very different from my family, from the time I was a little girl. For the most part they viewed me as one might a foreign body in the eye, something of an irritant they wished they could flush away.

Does that sound cold? I mean, it wasn’t the Waltons. And still isn’t.

I get it, though. I’ve taken a road –many roads, actually–that they’d never set foot on.

I’m not sure why I came into the world with attitudes and a world view so different from that of my family of origin. And while my band of acceptability was always wide, theirs was always narrow. Still is.

So, I find myself in my early 60s pretty much without a family of origin.

Their choice, but I can’t disagree, not if I’m being honest.  We’d like to think that blood is thicker than water, and it might be. But sometimes it’s just not sticky, if you know what I mean. If you can’t acknowledge the issues, much less work through them or even just let go of them, there’s not much to say to each other. And I’ve tried to steer clear of judgmental people. And try not to be one. Most of the time.

You think it’s painful?  It was. Absolutely.  As I went through the process of ascertainment and headed down the path toward forgiveness there WAS pain. And hurt. Many years of it.

And then, one day, that part of it was over. Funny how that happens, how we heal if we work at it.

Work is the operative verb.

Still, going through life set apart can be lonely.

Enter the Universe, which always knows what to do.

When I wasn’t looking, majick was happening.  Sisterly-majick even above and beyond my lovely, long-time sister-friends, and you know who you are.  My soul family was making itself known.

soultiesneedtobebrokenWhen I first moved to California, I met a woman who would remain in my life for 30 years and is still there. A sister-friend. On the surface, we had little in common but our hearts connected, we got close, and the rest, as they say, is history. I had not known what it was like to count on a sister for love and support before I met her. She’s been my sister, my friend and most important? My teacher.

Then, someone who had been attached to my family of origin had a status change, and while other status changes have floated people out of my life, this one floated her closer, because we had developed something significant in common.  She really did become my sister-in-love.  And in the process, I got to connect in a closer and more significant way with a sister of hers.

In THAT process, her sister and I recognized the sacred purpose for which we had been brought together again. I say again because we knew that we had been members of each other’s soul family forever. And ever.

That moment of recognition WAS majick.

Who knew? as Pink would say. That’s the ring tone to my phone, by the way. Her song.

I’d always missed that feeling of being “known” by my family. But with these women I am known, accepted, loved. That’s what soul families do. We’re always brewing something up together: business ideas, plans, vacations. Or talking about our lives, our feelings, our futures, our finances. Each call has at least one aspect of help and support for each of us. We are big believers that we are all in this together and while I had been accustomed to the toxic brew of family, this is a tastier stew and much healthier.

One of my birthday gifts from the sister of my soul

One of my birthday gifts from the sister of my soul

When I’m talking with the sister of my soul on the phone HOURS pass without notice, because she, too, is a new age practitioner and there is no end to what we discuss. Sure, you’d look at us on paper and wonder, what do they have in common? Many differences.  The same with most of my sister-friends. But that’s the way it is with real family, you know? You don’t really have to have a whole lot of surface stuff in common. You just have to find one piece of deep common ground. And you have to love.

I honor my siblings of origin as important members of my soul family, too. They have brought me the opportunity to dig deep into myself and also to learn and practice forgiveness. And while this lifetime was challenging for us as a family with many lessons to learn, I am certain that our relationships have been different in past lives and will be different still in the future.

I love the Universe, the Divine, God, whatever you call it.

Always on duty. Always doing just the right thing.

What about you?

Have you ever met someone you believe could be a member of your soul family?





14 comments on “Soul families and souls set apart
  1. Lisa Froman says:

    Carol, I’d love to be your soul sista. I too believe we have soul groups and families. I’ve been fortunate to have a couple of friends who fit into this category, women who I can share my deepest, quirkiest thoughts or interests. This is a rare gift. And then I have lots of other friends who don’t fall into this category, but who bring me joy. And then I have my own siblings, all of whom I love very much, but whom I am not very close to at all. They are good people but I feel different from them and our interests are not the same, either. (None were interested in reading my book, which would offer them some insight into their sister. ) I wish we were closer, but I accept things the way they are and we’re fine and basically drama free.

  2. Pat says:

    I am super blessed because not only do I have two biological sister soulmates, I have my soul family of sister-friends, too.

  3. Lux Ganzon says:

    Agree. Sometimes those we are of no relation of feels more like family than our blood relatives.

  4. Kimba says:

    Love that you are discussing sister-friends during international women’s friendship month. I love my family, but I too have built a tribe of friends who are my soul mates.

  5. I feel very lucky to have a family of origin and a family of soul sisters, all of whom I love dearly and who make me feel loved. I think you have many readers who would happily consider you one of their soul sisters – I know I would. xo

  6. I fully agree with you about the women in my life, those you have to seriously set aside time for a phone call you know is going to be epic, those who always have your back in a time of need. I’m also very blessed to have a wonderful, wonky family of origin – one that doesn’t even come close to fitting the norm, but for me, it’s the perfect family. I’d never fit in with any other! -Veronica

  7. bodynsoil says:

    Wow, your post touched a large part of what I deal with daily, for the last 50 years of my lift. Not being accepted as a family member; to the point of having a parent call you a black sheep. Or that I ruined her neat plan of 2 children; one of each sex; as the third child.

    I’m glad you found a soul family. I’m not quite there yet; but have a couple irons in the fire.

  8. This is how my family sees me. They include me because they must, but I seldom feel like they really want me there. Sigh. And you’re right, it is lonely to live set apart. I’m waiting to find my soul family, though. It’s a little hard to find that kind of friend when you’ve been taught by not-friends not to trust. But that will come. I just have to be patient.

  9. rodalena says:

    For people who had, shall we say, a rough go of it when they were young, the soul family is a lifeline. My own soul sisters have been my true family, in the most meaningful sense of the word.

    Thanks for this, Carol. I really identified with what you wrote.

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