Managing our inner WTF

June 26, 2017

judgingWe’re all judgmental. That’s just a fact. If you have an opinion about anything you judge. That’s the way it works. We’re always judging.

Sometimes we even judge people for being judgmental, in some weird round robin kind of thing. But we do judge.

Usually, we keep judgment in check by letting it swirl in our brains but not come out of our mouths. Or our keyboards.  But sometimes….

I’m a work in progress

I’m a generally kind person but from time to time I can be a complete failure in managing my inner WTF, after which I am consumed by shame for a period of time. Because voicing a not-so-nice judgment isn’t in keeping with my nature. It doesn’t feel right. As of course, it shouldn’t.

I can still feel shame over a few judgments I wish I’d kept to myself. It’s not that anyone was hurt by it, just that it didn’t reflect my heart. In those cases, I should have done a better job of keeping my WTF in.

There’s a lot of judgment being slung around now and as one of my Facebook friends commented, one political side comes armed with guns and the other with coffeecakes. That is, until a crazy Bernie Sanders guy opened fire. WTF, indeed.

My inner WTF is working overtime these days

Many of our inner WTFs have been working overtime as we observe what’s going on in our nation. Some of it is so absolutely beyond the pale that we simply must let our inner WTF out, I get it. I mean, in what world is it ok for the so-called leader of the free world to respond late and tepidly to the throat-slitting deaths of kind people defending another human being? Or to insult the mayor of a city trying to deal with the aftermath of a horrific terrorist attack?

WTF moments, for sure. I get it.

I don’t know about you, but I do get tired of seeing all the vicious insults on social media on both sides. Since I managed my feed so that I see no idiotic Trump support posts (note my judgment here), I mostly see Trump opposition posts. And while I agree with them. I worry that we are guilty of all talk and no action and therefore things won’t change.

We MUST take that energy that’s going into making and posting anti-Trump sentiments and memes and work on midterm elections in swing areas. We need to get a majority in the House. We need to stop some of these crazy policies that madman is pushing that can’t be enacted without legislative approval.

A lot less talk, a lot more action

We aren’t going to do that by continuing to shout WTF???!! Or any other insult. Oh I get why. I’ve insulted him on social media, myself. Not often, but I have. Still, I know it won’t get us anywhere.

We’re going to get there by donating money, stuffing proverbial envelopes, sending emails, contacting our representatives and canvassing before midterms.

I’d like to see fewer anti-Trump memes in my social media feeds and more stories of actions being taken and suggestions for actions the rest of us can take.

This started because I was feeling guilty about a judgment I let out a few years go. Not a political one. But in a shameful WTF moment of its own, this post what it turned into.

Funny how that works.


51 comments on “Managing our inner WTF
  1. Barbara says:

    We are definitely living in a WTF world right now, Carol. I’m guilty of not being able to suppress it. It is hard to believe people who we thought were kind and sane and compassionate really aren’t any of those things at heart. We have a game show host running what was the greatest country in the world. WTF?! indeed!

  2. I am WTF all day, every day. Thank you for this!

  3. I agree with you. I have been open to conversation about Trump from the beginning, and some of the WTF comments I’ve seen have actually led to good discussion.

  4. Julia says:

    I’m WTF in my mind a lot… and sometimes it slips out. Good to know I’m not alone!

  5. Hi Carol! I like how you’ve approached this issue in so many ways because it’s real. I think we are all attempting to figure out how to both keep our sanity and at the same time help to bring about positive change. My recent post on my blog is sort of the same thing but I’m still amazed that how many people are so fearful that they don’t even want to try to explore how we are all a bit complicit in the experience. The current state of affairs in Washington didn’t just happen, it’s been slowly building to this point for years. Same with Climate Change. But until we are willing to see how black and white thinking is not the answer, it likely won’t change. As you said, taking action is critical. But I also believe that we must mine the depths of our own consciousness to see how we need to change as well before it will have much effect on the world. Thanks for generating those thoughts in me! ~Kathy

  6. Ellen Dolgen says:

    I find myself thinking this all day long, but trying to stay in the game to help ensure that we don’t get complacent and stop speaking out and standing up!

  7. Moyinoluwa says:

    I loved the title! Inner WTF… Haha.. Everyone has it, we just have to learn to suppress it.

  8. renee says:

    I am in a WTF constantly…its that kid of world we live in right now. I am trying to stay more in the moment ad meditate so I am not so riled up…it helps till the next WTF!

  9. I agree that more action needs to be taken but that is the same for everything these days. Social media is great but it wont solve everything x

  10. I feel you. I’m not that wise, but I think we all need to work on developing a safe internal harbor for all these WTF triggers. For me, that means unifying with a divine Source which absorbs the pain, suffering, and injustice so it can’t punish me or turn me cynical. Anything we do that helps us to fall in love with humanity and people and the cosmos helps. It’s spiritual practice for me, but it could be a pet for someone else. We have to be intentional about learning to hold all the paradox without slipping into despair. Thanks for this thought provoking post, Carol! xox

  11. Haralee says:

    I worry that it is all too much and people including myself will get complacent just to stop the noise and the aggression and not the call to action.

  12. amit says:

    This is great, you are so right…I’m a budget backpacker, and there’s this myth around backpackers that once we start traveling we leave all our judgement at home. We don’t judge anybody – but it’s bull, travelers, backpackers, nomads whatever we call ourselves look at another traveler and judge. There is not a single person who doesn’t judge another person.

  13. Sarah says:

    We think and judge way more than we take action on anything. They do say actions speak louder than words. Love the whole “inner WTF” idea.

  14. I think I have WTF fatigue…but I refuse to be complacent. Thanks for the reminder to channel the outrage constructively.

  15. Gloria says:

    This is so insanely relatable. WTF has turned into a state of mind for me due to all the political correctness which in my opinion has ruined a lot.You can not even speak your mind anymore without someone screaming obscenities at you and calling you a racist/homophobe/bigot. Just yesterday I wrote on a FB recipe post that I preferred blondies over brownies.Got called racist. Over a recipe. Inner WTF? Yep. What is wrong with the world. =(

  16. Jay Colby says:

    Sometimes we need WTF conversations to get the root of the problem. Without having some people(s) get uncomfortable is many times the only way to find solutions or gain an understanding.

  17. shelley says:

    Inner WTF so perfectly sums up my existence these days! Between shaking my head and wondering WTF it’s just a constant state of disbelief.

  18. Scott says:

    More people could do better by adhering to the “less talk, more action” mantra. Sadly, not many do.

  19. Carolann says:

    I agree. All the vitriol and hate has to stop.Even if you don’t like either candidate we are all still Americans and need to be a unified force to benefit all Americans! The hate gets us nowhere. It leaves us feeling vastly empty and alone. As you said, we have to make the change happen with actions that are kind and cause change – not hurt each other in the process!

  20. It is sad to say but being online, these WTF moments happen a lot more than I’d want them to. I love your positivity on the situation, it is a great way to spin all of the negativity that internet trolls inflict on everyone they encounter.


  21. I agree with all of this. I’m still working on my facial expressions. That’s what gives my WTF away.

  22. Claudia Krusch says:

    This is such a true post. We are definitely living in a WTF world right now.

  23. I think that each of us having an opinion is great. That is what makes this thing (internet) so great. We are able to learn so much more than we have ever been able to learn. If we could just stop throwing insults out and shaming others, whether its for being a trump supporter or being liberal. I think the grown-ups need a lesson in growing up and turning the other cheek.

  24. Whenever I read something on social media that makes me say WTF, I ask myself if I would say my reply out loud in person. If the answer is no, then I don’t type it.

  25. Krysten says:

    This really helps me to not feel so alone. I have some major WTF moments all day, every day. I never know how to really manage it.

  26. Your title made me laugh although I so needed to read this! I’m not as worried about my inner WTF — it’s my outer WTF I really have to control since the election. Every day is a WTF.

  27. kelly reci says:

    Love that line! “A lot less talk, a lot more action” I really enjoyed reading your articles, they are all touching and very meaningful!

  28. Czjai says:

    I feel you! Most of the things that I see on social media these days make me go WTF.

  29. Mardene Carr says:

    Thank you for saying that. At the core of it we are all judgmental but how we deal with it is the thing worth talking about. I literally talk to myself daily..when I find myself going there because that is not something I want to do.

  30. Dominique says:

    I’m not really up with what the political situation is over there at the moment but I completely agree with you that the old saying “actions speak louder than words” is true if you want to effect change!

  31. Heather says:

    I stay quiet especially with politics. I am the Christian that is not Christian enough to vote for Trump because I don’t just care about one issue, which seems to be the unborn. If you dismiss that and want to focus on a myriad of other issues facing our nation, you are not a Christian. I simply don’t get it and no longer participate in arguments over it, which leaves me with a lot of those WTF moments.

  32. Liza Perry says:

    Hahahaaaaa Inner wtf yeah! Im inner and often in a wtf vibe ???? Thanks to this wtf world! Thanks for this post!

  33. We overthink, react and judge far too easy nowadays. I’m often guilty of it. Something I’m always trying to work on. I have many WTF’s

  34. I do my best every day to shut out the noise, because that’s what so much of it is – noise. It’s important to have debate, to be open to ideas, suggestions, and experiences, but not at the risk of harming others. I wish we could start a campaign around that old saying, “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” or even better, ” do not speak unless you can improve the silence.”

    Having a voice is important, and required in this era but understanding the difference between having a voice and contributing to the solution is different and needs to be addressed more frequently.

  35. Ana Ojha says:

    I like the title of your post! I believe that we all have our inner WTF’s but most of the time, we try to suppress it!

  36. Catvills says:

    We all go through days like that, sometimes, the first WTF moment comes right after you get out of bed. I don’t usually delve into political issues because I believe that as long as I do not break any law, and that I still have a roof above my head, food on the table, the kids in school, bills are paid, and we’re healthy, I am fine with that. Where I live, our President is not all that good too, but I just go about doing my daily business. I may complain and go on a barrage of WTFs too. I understand how you feel. We need better leaders. Just my two cents.

  37. akamatra says:

    Thank you for giving voice to a matter that has been in mind for a year now! I mean, I just stay away from facebook to avoid all this WTF moments. That and I unfollow all of those that cause them!

  38. I’m actually afraid when we cut off the other viewpoints from our lives that we no longer can know whether our own are valid. And then even if they are valid, when we don’t see the other sides viewpoint then we cannot really do anything to change the world. And we encourage fear in the other which eventually leads to acts of violence. All of these things scare me. I do agree that the crazy moments should inspire action but I am afraid that those actions will only be done from fear when we do not know those around us.

  39. ellie says:

    I loved that title! I definitely have that inner WTF a lot! Having a voice is important and using that voice for good, but just judging doesn’t help anyone, it doesn’t inspire progress.

  40. I could not agree with you more! People are so ready to shout their opinions when they are sitting behind a keyboard, hiding behind a computer screen, but when it comes down to actually stepping in and stepping up, they are nowhere to be found (yes, I am judging!) I just feel like if you’re going to bother saying something at all, then back it up with an effective action as well.

  41. Alayna says:

    We have all been there! It’s not always easy keeping in those moments. It happens, don’t sweat it!

  42. Tripti says:

    I have my own moments with wtfs. Most of us are becoming judgemental and harming the progress.A healthy debate and discussion with more tolerance towards others point of view is extremely important.

  43. Tiara Wilson says:

    We are totally living in a W T F world currently. It’s crazy that your post relates so much to how our society is today.

  44. We all do judge others it’s natural human nature so I wouldn’t worry about slipping up once in a while.. Some control it better than others. I think that most of the time I manage to keep my opinions to myself an under control.

  45. Elizabeth o says:

    A lot less talk and a lot more action and kindness is sorely missing of late. Instead lf all the finger pointing, we all need to pause, breathe and look for common ground.

    • Elizabeth o says:

      We need more compassion and consideration in our world. As a manager of several online groups, it saddens me to see the endless barrage of messages asking me to get rid of this one and that one. Why? I delete those messages. We need to be more forgiving of others flaws and mistakes. Ditto our own!

  46. I think I WTF daily. Always to many things going on. We all have busy households but sometimes It can get really hectic.

  47. Made Adayasa says:

    Inner of WTF ? I am sorry I am an Asian from Bali island . We are living in a big community where peoples around us judge every single tings to do . I can’t always thinking WTF all the time . The things that good for me will not always good in community , cause I am not only belong to my family but our big community .

    Best regards
    Bali Island

  48. Crystal says:

    WTF the words most commonly known to shoot out my mouth at least 100 times a day lately.

  49. Wildish Jess says:

    I’m very outspoken around friends so I have plenty of WTF moments. I try to contain them in public using my eyes only.

  50. Katrina gehman says:

    Who doesn’t do the WTF thing every day? I just try and leasen it as much as possie

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