Who’s got the fob?

July 26, 2016

keyless-ignitionOk, I’ll admit. We don’t yet have a car with keyless ignition. And so rarely do I rent a car these days that I’d never driven a car with a keyless ignition before.

Until Famous Girlfriend and I went to Montana.

Well, that’s not true. Once in a while I’m Designated Driver for friends who have a big, fancy Jaguar. That has a keyless ignition.

But I’ve never had to contend with the, well, issues, surrounding the keyless ignition and its fob.

Our big boat of a rental Buick in Montana had a keyless ignition and we were given a fob for it.

One fob. One fob that opened the doors and trunk. One fob that had to be nearby for us to start the car engine.

One fob for women of a certain age whose most important question each day had become Why did I come into this room, again?

The entire trip became about the fob.

Where’s the fob?

If we said it once, we said it 100 times during our week.

You’ve got the fob.

No, I gave it to you.

Do I have the fob?

Who’s got the fob?

Now, before you think it’s just women, here’s an excerpt of a long message from my gay husband.

(Just to clarify, because there has been some misunderstanding about this in the past: my husband is not gay. But many women who have gay men as BFFs call them their “gay husbands.” Just saying. Because an ex-boyfriend read about my gay husband and presented himself again because he thought my regular husband had gone gay. No. Absolutely. Not. Gay. Not. One. Little. Bit.)

But back to the message from my gay husband:

“Just had the most bizarre situation misplacing my car fob last might…my backup’s not working. There is no way i would’e found it–I kept channeling everyone from my mom to St. Joseph…I was guided to the back bedroom where I removed my slacks last night… had looked there once but later was guided back to keep digging around the stuff on the spare bed. Holy crap! The key fob!”

So I think it’s a pretty evil irony that keyless ignitions and fobs have appeared on the scene just when our memories have disappeared.

Having said that, we bought a new vehicle yesterday. It has a keyless ignition. And fobs.

I’m a little….worried.

26 comments on “Who’s got the fob?
  1. Leanne says:

    I love keyless cars but I don’t have one – mine is a fob/key and is attached to my house keys etc so I’m not at risk of losing it any time soon. I wonder how long until we’re keyless everything – we’ll have to get the one-fob-to-rule-the-world superglued to us or we’ll go mad.

  2. Linda Hobden says:

    My husband has a fob … my car is quite ancient and so I use the bog standard key. I have a bulky keyring though….????

  3. My BF has had a Prius for over a year and I still can’t remember how to use it. I can set up a website but heaven help me if I have to drive the Prius or use the remote. I have an old Grand Am and am happy with it, at least for now.

  4. Ellen Dolgen says:

    I love it that you have a gay husband. I have two! They call themselves Husband #2 and #3. My husband, who is not gay, is #1 of course. I get the whole fob thing.I have mine on a key ring with my other keys. Although we have a designated drawer and cup for our keys…It seems my favorite questions is, “Where are my keys?”

  5. Helene Cohen Bludman says:

    I really don’t like the keyless ignitions. My car has the old-fashioned kind but I’ve rented cars with the keyless. I’m constantly worried that I’ll misplace the fob.

  6. Gary Mathews says:

    Ex boyfriend tried to get back with you after thinking your husband had gone gay. That’s hilarious…only you Carol only you!

  7. Beth Giusti says:

    I am forever losing it. I did much better at “real keys” I seemed to have a better grip as to always knowing where they were!

  8. Leta says:

    Oh gosh, I dread this – at least keys rattle at the bottom of your handbag!! Everyone needs a ‘gay husband’, how do people not know this?! 😉

  9. Rosemond says:

    So glad to know I’m not alone. I’m with you on the keyless entry. I am constantly frantically searching for it. I often forget were it is even when I’m driving and panic that I can’t find it.

    Welcome to our keyless future!

  10. angie says:

    I so agree, the last car we had was very expensive when we lost the keys and fob. The key alone was $100. After we had to get a new key the keys did happen to return. So glad to hear there are cars still out there that you do not need these super powered fobs for

  11. Grammy says:

    We have way too many fobs. I have mine and hubby’s as well as the third car fob…he has the same. Plus there’s a fob for the home alarm system 🙂

  12. Andrea says:

    When I do get a car, i will be looking to have a fob 🙂

  13. Jasmine says:

    I don’t have a fob but if I did I can imagine Id be constantly losing it lol I’ll stick to my car keys 🙂

  14. Laura Prater says:

    WE have a FOB for our car. Comes in handy.

  15. Elizabeth O. says:

    I don’t think I’ve had any experience with a keyless ignition before but hey, it can pose as challenge to many of us, no matter what age. Lol. I think it’s important to keep it in a place where people would always see it, either that or buy one of those gadgets that you connect to your phone that can track lost keys, etc.

  16. Ha ha! Both of our cars are keyless now, and I rarely know where the fob is. I figure it must be in my bag if the door opens and the car starts 🙂

  17. Vyjay says:

    Its all about the Fob. Ha, Ha! all of us are in the same boat, in pursuit of the Fob.

  18. It was quite a break through for me to get a car with automatic locks, so I’m relieved that my new-er car I just bought does not have a fob, now that I’ve read your post. Haha! Sounds like a keyless entry to potential disaster!

  19. I don’t have a fob! I have key-less Cars because I cant risk wasting my time!!!!

  20. Jessica Kirk says:

    My car has a fob that you stick in it like a key. It has my house keys attached to it so I’m less likely to lose it but I have a few times, always right when I need to go somewhere lol.

  21. Ha ha! I have a new Nissan Sentra with the keyless ignition and it’s been rough. Love your humor, Carol!

  22. Silly Mummy says:

    Haha! Never had one of these! Though I find that losing a regular car key also creates a reasonable amount of trouble with starting the car! What I can’t cope with are ones that automatically unlock the car when you are near & lock it as you move away. That system does not work for those of us with OCD issues, who need to check that the car is locked! I definitely would have believed your husband was gay without the explanation!

  23. Lisa Rios says:

    My car has the old-fashioned type of key, but I agree that losing the key could be a big nightmare as it is going to be expensive. Would like to have Fob for sure hoping that it would make a good difference!

  24. Mardene Carr says:

    Just rented my first car like that and it took some getting used to. Also writing a post on that as we speak.

  25. Nicole Escat says:

    We don’t own a car but when we do, I like a keyless one. My hubby really wanted to own a car.

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