Let’s just jump in, because the next Celebrity Apprentice is airing and I haven’t recapped last week.

Worked on a team? I am certain that many of these lessons will bring back memories, and not the kind you want to paste in your scrapbook. Does anyone do that anymore? Guess not, it’s all online. Well, you know what I mean.

A pretty girl is like a melody

Mr. Trump has an obvious soft spot for Brandi Glanville, and while she’s smarter than you might think if you, like me, watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, I’m pretty sure he likes her because she is a knockout.  Which she still is, despite her overly-done cosmetic surgeries that have made her look Asian.

I do remember once having a very pretty young staff member whose performance was so poor that I’d had to write her up. But the sales team wanted her to come “help” at a big sales meeting, so they asked HER instead of consulting me.  Of course there were half a dozen others on my staff who would have done a better job, but they weren’t young and cute.  Oh, there was hell to pay when I said she couldn’t go.

Yes, if you have had a pretty girl on your team you know that she is like a melody, a siren song, music whose appeal is hard to resist.

Thing is, it has nothing to do with her ability to perform the task at hand.

Now, Brandi’s a pretty good player, I’ll give her that. But I still think her abilities are #2 on the appeal scale for Mr. Trump.

Some members weigh the team down, like an anchor: know your customers

This is the case with Capt. Sig, whose claim to fame is that he is a boat captain on The Deadliest Catch. Now, for an older guy, Sig is considered “hot.”  Eh. But he was way out of his comfort level during the first few weeks of Celebrity Apprentice (not to mention out of his league).  He offered excuse after excuse for not stepping up as team captain, as if anyone on the team had any type of experience doing ANY of the tasks.

But, when the task involved planning an event to be held on New York’s Circle Line boats, he had to step up. He is, after all, a boat captain.  So he and that major brain trust, Geraldo, came up with the theme, “The Sexiest Catch,” a play on Sig’s show.  Why Vivica Fox went along with this sexist, frat-boy plan– that included Hooter Girls because, as Sig says “sex sells”–I don’t know.

Well, ok, I do know. She went along with it because she knew it would fail and Sig would be fired. Which he was.  He was fired because half of the cruise customers were women and children, who did not find “The Sexiest Catch” and Hooters Girls appropriate family fare. In fact, the look on some of the women’s faces was priceless.  He also had a bit of a violent temper tantrum during the task, which I’m sure works out on the Bering Sea, but not so much in Manhattan.  Bye-bye, Sig!

Geraldo’s ridiculous emceeing, during which he yelled “Screw the terrorists” as the boat passed the new World Trade Centers, was also mentioned by customers as inappropriate.  That guy is beyond belief. Of course, “know your role” on the team is another lesson, and Geraldo does seem to know and embrace his role as team buffoon.

On the positive side, it looks like Sig and Geraldo bonded; Sig is now attached so firmly up Geraldo’s hind quarters that he’ll be with the “news”caster for life.

Like an anchor.

Bad taste doesn’t always guarantee failure: know your customers

The Circle Line event was a party and no one loves to party more than Brandi, who was team captain. I give her credit for trash-canning the original party concept at the 11th hour and asking for a new one–wise move.  The new theme was fairly benign.

Kenya Moore offered to sing “her” song as part of the festivities (who even knew she had a song? I don’t watch her reality show.). I was hoping that she would have a great voice, but apparently not–she didn’t sing, she TALKED her song. Apparently that’s one stereotype that just isn’t true.  Her performance could have been benign, too, except that she also offered to dance and got carried away.

She ended up writhing suggestively on the ground, an act that did not go over well with the women and children in the crowd. Who looked like they were experiencing a very bad smell.

I mean, seriously. What kind of person would do that?  It seems to be impossible to set limits with these celebrities, who act incredibly trashy. Do they now know how to consider their customers? Or maybe they think all customers are like reality show audiences and that behaving badly gets them screen time. Which it does.

Brandi’s team won the task by the skin of their teeth, but if Sig’s sexism hadn’t been worse  than Kenya’s dirty dancing, Brandi might have been fired. A very close call.

Know which team member to fire

The second task last week was an interactive promotion for one of the Trump golf course. Kate Gosselin headed the team that lost.

While Kate was becoming a bit less annoying each week, she was way out of her league for this task, and the promotion her team came up with lacked the luxury feel that Trump brands represent.  But the bigger deal was the girl drama between Kenya and Vivica.

There’s no question that Kenya is a terrible team member and should have been fired already for her destructive behavior. So, as much as I thought Kate failed the leadership test, I was secretly hoping Mr. Trump would give Kenya her comeuppance.

But Mr. Trump is smart. Kenya is ratings gold, and so Kate got the axe instead.

If this competition was really about the task, he would have axed Kenya. But it’s about ratings, so he didn’t.  And that was smart. He knows his customers.

I can think of a few parents who don’t get this.

And finally…

I continue to be impressed by the very smart and articulate Trump offspring.  While numerous celebrity spawn behave badly, we have never seen these three do that. No unsavory headlines. No bad behavior.  They went to business schools, did well and seem to deserve their executive roles in their father’s organization. To be honest, I love watching them and marveling at how their parents managed to raise such accomplished children.

So, hate him if you must, but Mr. Trump’s done something right, and it’s the most important thing he could have achieved in life.

INTERESTED IN MY OTHER RECAPS OF THIS SEASON?  Here’s one, and here’s the other.