Just show up

June 18, 2015

life req participationJust show up.  It sounds so simple, doesn’t it?  Like we just wait around and stuff happens. You know, just stand there.

Umm, no. That’s not what it means.

See that word “participation” up top?  We’ve got to take an active role in making things happen, or they won’t.

Maybe you, like me, would much prefer to sit with a book or in front of the computer screen chatting with friends.

Maybe you, like me, have a bit of a tendency to laze around.

Umm, no.  That’s not “showing up.”

Yes, that’s right. I’m talking to myself as much as I am to anyone else. Because that’s the conundrum about retirement. With all the time in the world laid out in front of us, inertia can set in.

Then again, I showed up for an entire lifetime, at least most of it.  And I know people who have spent a lifetime NOT showing up and still expecting the Universe to shower goodies upon them.

Umm, no. It didn’t happen.

Because they didn’t show up.

I’ve finally figured out what my greatest weakness is. It’s the path of least resistance.

creativity+mazeOh, I resisted that route for years. But now? I prefer it.

Still, I feel guilty. Because I don’t always show up for life in the way I want to.

You’re probably going to say “well, if you wanted to, you would.”  Yeah, yeah, I hear you. But maybe I wouldn’t. Because I’d rather take the path of least resistance.

Welcome to my head, where conflicting messages spin around like tops, each on their own independent path. Is your head like this, too?  And if it is, how do you break the spin long enough to get on another path?

Inquiring minds, we want to know.

Thank you.

31 comments on “Just show up
  1. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says:

    I usually just take things as they come and go from there. I don’t like to over think things.

  2. Amy says:

    Overthinker here! And a procrastinator. I try schedules, just seeing what happens, going with the flow–all of it. Haven’t found anything yet that really works to keep myself on track. I’ve especially been like this since menopause set in. Kind of boggled and unorganized. I’m super social for awhile, then I switch to preferring alone time. I think I’m a loner at heart. I’m working on it. I think we’re all works in progress. I’m aware of ways I can improve and I strive to work at it bit by bit, day by day. I think that’s the important thing–being aware and doing what we can to improve ourselves while still accepting and loving ourselves as imperfect.

  3. I hear ya girlfriend. I’m also ‘retired’ and it can be SOOOOO easy just to do nothing, and then beat myself up about it, and then do it all again. I’ve got other challenges, as well: 1)a husband suffering from major burn-out in his last few remaining years before retirement, 2)trying to make sure we’ve done everything possible to maximize our finances, 3)the dis-connect between what’s going on in his head and mine, 4) trying to figure out how to keep myself busy and purposeful (volunteering doesn’t do it). Sometimes I ask myself if I’m just sitting around waiting to expire? Have I already expired? This is NOT an easy age.

  4. I’m a lot like Robin above. I had to retire from nursing early due to failed back surgery. In all the years I worked, I was always 30 minutes early. Every. Single. Day. And now, that’s changed. I slide in at the last minute because I’ve gotten used to doing things according to good back pain days, those days when my chronic pain is a 7 or below.

  5. Ellen Dolgen says:

    I don’t think “showing up” has anything to do with whether you work or don’t work — Whether you are single or married — Whether you have kids or no kids….it is a spirit of being which stems from the heart not the head. I say go with your heart…show up when feel it.

  6. I am bad at this also. i put off the things I do not want to deal with part procrastination and laziness I guess.

  7. Britney says:

    I like that quote! Not only do you have to show up but I really believe you should participate in life too!

  8. Liz Mays says:

    I think sometimes I show up and sometimes I don’t. I feel more fulfilled when I do though. By far!

  9. I’ve spent a lot of years showing up when I didn’t really want to, when it was out of obligation or worrying I’d hurt others by not participating in events or their drama. I’m actually getting better about NOT showing up unless I really want to.

  10. I do tend to plan a lot and worry, many times about things that are out of my control. I need to work on that 🙁

  11. Sandy says:

    Yep, participation is required in life!

  12. Alicia says:

    I have worked really hard over the last year to let some things go … I used to make lists, over organize, and worry about everything. Still not great at this but, getting better.

  13. I’m not a big overthinker and now live by the philosophy, “Done is better than perfect.” I show up and get it done!

  14. Carolann says:

    Another awesome thought provoking article Carol! I think my problem is I still want to do everything and yesterday! I have to learn to chill a bit and enjoy the down time too. I think I will be at it until my body stops taking me where I want to go lol. You are spot on with this piece! Some folks just don’t get it!

  15. katie says:

    You get so much in life simply by choosing to show up!

    ​xo katie // a touch of teal

  16. very well put. I deal with lazing and that seductive path of least resistance every day.

  17. I live life with no regrets we alwasy have the chance to correct the important thing is to show up and make it count.

  18. Michelle Hwee says:

    Everybody has their own perceptions of what they want out of life and what life should be. I say, do as you please, live it the way you want and to the fullest.

  19. Well said. I tend to laze around and procrastinate, too.

  20. Elizabeth O. says:

    I also have issues with procrastination. What I do is make a schedule and make sure that I follow it.

  21. Karen W says:

    I need to remember this quote. I struggle with procrastination and being lazy. My word of the year was diligent. This first half of the year hasn’t gone real well.

  22. I feel this way every time I stay in bed a little longer than I should….so many things I need to do…but I get lazy and I don’t bother to “show up.”

  23. Megan @ C'mon Get Crafty says:

    It’s hard to fight that path sometimes, but the benefits of the road less traveled are monumental. I use my kids’ eyes as my mirror of self-motivation. 🙂

  24. Victoria says:

    I usually try to handle things as they come up. However, sometimes planning in advance is required for some things too.

  25. michelle co says:

    It would be nice to not do anything for a day but after that what then. I try to do small steps whenever i feel lethargic.

  26. Letty C. says:

    I don’t over think everything. I take it as it comes, but I do procrastinate a lot. Good think I work great under pressure.

  27. Jhoveleen says:

    What I greatly learnt in life recently is don’t worry too much, just give your very best in everything and the rest will follow.

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