Let them be wrong about you

September 6, 2023


It’s a beautiful summer day on our spectacularly colorful patio as I write this. Ah, the beauty of California!

A friend and I were talking recently about how people can get it wrong. So wrong. And be completely clueless about it. As another friend of ours is discovering.

“It’s so painful for her,” I said. “They aren’t interested in anyone’s reality but their own preconceived notions. They aren’t smart enough to understand that objective reality doesn’t exist—that perception is reality. We all view things through our own filters.  But they insist on pointing their fingers at my friend, when they are equally culpable. What would YOU tell her?”

My girlfriend smiled.  “I’d tell her, ‘Let them be wrong about you.’ There’s nothing to prove.”

Well, that IS the truth, isn’t it? We can explain until the cows come home and some people are not going to hear–and not going to care.

Too bad for them.

Still, it takes a strong person to not want to explain or defend. It’s human nature to want to correct what we see as a skewed view.

I stopped explaining a long time ago. I don’t have to prove anything to people who see and hear me. Who get me. Who love me.  They are already there.

Those who can’t hear are unimportant. They can think what they want. They don’t matter to me. And I hope my friend can see they shouldn’t matter to her, either. Enjoy the people who love you. The rest can go their own way. So long!

So, the next time my friend and I talk about her situation, that’s what I’m going to say.

Let them be wrong about you. There’s nothing to prove.


Oh, I almost forgot. Have you checked out my Etsy shop?

10 comments on “Let them be wrong about you
  1. Diane says:

    This is definitely for me today, Carol! I’m in the ‘vociferously defend myself’ camp. Something about some skewed view of justice. This is what I need to chant to myself. Oh, the peace! Thank you!

    • I think wanting ‘justice’ is part of being human, isn’t it? We want things to be fair, but as we both know, they are not always. In fact, we’re lucky if they are. I’m just glad that I no longer suffer that delusion, even though I can rant about unfairness…and have sure been known to!

  2. Laurie Stone says:

    Acceptance goes a long way. When I work too hard trying to ‘set someone straight’ that’s my signal to back off. We all have our own journey.

  3. Lauren says:

    Love this! I need to remember this the next time I try to defend myself to someone who will never get it.

  4. Jennifer says:

    I like that. I think I will.

  5. I just try to stay away from toxic situations. Better for my blood pressure.

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Here you’ll find my blog, some of my essays, published writing, and my solo performances. There’s also a link to my Etsy shop for healing and grief tools offered through A Healing Spirit.


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