Liar, liar!

May 12, 2017

liarI’ve got a thing about lying. I can’t abide a liar. And neither can my friend, Roxanne Jones, who is on the blog today with a guest post all about the untruth.  Here’s To Tell the Truth: this is why I hate lying.

If I’m intolerant of anything, it’s bullshit, and I came by my bias the hard way. My mother, the person I’d once trusted most in my life, lied to me for 26 years about who my father was.

See, I was the result of a drunken one-night stand mom had with a casual acquaintance home on leave from the Merchant Marine. Ashamed, she didn’t tell him that their shtupping had gotten her pregnant. Instead, she conceived a lie, blaming her predicament on an unscrupulous young man—the scion of a wealthy family on Long Island where she worked as an au pair—who claimed he wanted to marry her but reneged when he knocked her up. This story made her the hapless victim in an era when nice girls didn’t get laid before marriage, much less get pregnant.

So I grew up believing my snooty but nameless father had rejected mom and me. On the plus side, this belief fueled an I’ll-show-him attitude that motivated me to be the perfect kid, earn straight As and never get into trouble. I fantasized that someday I’d confront him, he’d be blown away by all my accomplishments and lament how he’d missed out on being part of my life. Take that, you dick. And BTW, where’s my inheritance?

On the flip side, I was tremendously insecure, especially with members of the READ MORE HERE

12 comments on “Liar, liar!
  1. Pam says:

    It would be so hard to recover from being lied to for so long. Truth has a way of coming out, whether anyone likes it or not.

  2. kelly reci says:

    it hurts to know that someone has lied to you, its not easy to forget.

  3. Theresa says:

    I think a lie hurt more when it comes from someone you are supposed to trust 100% That’s never easy to fully recover from.

  4. Ronnie says:

    It’s no wonder a lie that large affects the personality so much.The last part of the story was very sweet – I’m glad there was a re-connection with the father.Some bonds are forever.

  5. Czjai says:

    Tell me about it. I have cut ties with some people in my life who have been lying to my face (and stabbing my back) all along.

  6. Scott says:

    Whoa, that’s a huge lie. And one that could have ruined someone’s life. I don’t know that I’d ever forgive that.

  7. Kita Bryant says:

    I am sorry to hear about that lie. At least you know the truth now!

  8. What a jerk! I think that might be the ultimate lie, one of the worst ever. I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see him or talk to him again.

  9. Wow, I could have written this. My mother lied to me about who my father was too. I found out when I was 26. It is hard to come back from that.

  10. Elizabeth O. says:

    This is why I have trust issues, it’s like lying is second nature for people. What they don’t realize that any bad truth is better than a really good lie. It’s important that we let the people we love know what really is the truth.

  11. Crystal says:

    Liars get so good at it! I am sorry the truth was kept from you for so long. It sounds like it must have been very challenging.

  12. Being lied to and believing that lie for a long time and then discovering later that it was a lie is pure tragedy. But I’m glad you had peace with the people involved in the end.

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