Here’s a scenario: You’ve placed a call to someone who doesn’t call you back for a few days or maybe even longer. When they do, they eat up the first three minutes of the call making excuses for not calling back sooner. “This happened and that happened and then the other happened….” In my culture we call such excuses a canzone, a song. All those “reasons” that are really excuses.
Well, here’s a news flash: I don’t care. You’re on the phone now, so let’s have the conversation. All the other stuff? It doesn’t concern me. Why do people make all these excuses for life? Life happens. Move on!
How about the friend who’s always cancelling plans — or can’t make a plan — or they leave you hanging because….and the same routine. “This is going on and that is going on and….” Una canzone.
Again, I say: So what? I don’t care. S hit happens. It happens to EVERYONE. You’re not the only one with stuff going on. Get over it and move on.
Because here’s the bottom line:
I have to admit that I’ve spent a bit of time in the past hanging around waiting to connect with friends and family who are like this. I made every effort to be understanding. But one day, I realized that I had a lot of stuff going on in my life too, and always made time for people I wanted to spend time with.
The day I realized that people do what they want to do — hell, Ido what I want to do– is the day that I freed myself to move on and spend time with people who were available.
This is a trap young women in relationship often make, this “understanding” of excuses for young men not seeing or calling them. If only they’d look at the lesson on the chalkboard above. It would make life so much easier for them.
I love them message on the chalkboard.
Not because people don’t make time for me because
I need a reminder to take the time.
Have a positive and powerful day!
I agree. Why do we let ourselves be held hostage to the notion of friendships/relationships when evidence shows us the other person doesn’t hold respect for us? So glad to see you discuss this in a broader context. I’m letting go of people like that this year….life is too short!
Family and friends are so precious
I understand canceling plans to go to to a lecture that I was never really interested in and don’t involve others. But I will travel many many miles to be with people I care about. If they can’t make the time to see me–bye!
Ciao Robin! The chalkboard reminds me about what bloggers do. If you’re not posting interesting material, the others don’t drop a comment or hit the like button. I think the trick is to present your true self. Hello world, these are the ABC’s of me. See who makes a true connection and notice the others who only give una canzone or run away.
Carol,
Well versed.
This is even more important as we get older.
If you are a Baby Boomer like me then there really isn’t any time for folks who won’t “make the effort”
Carol,
I got to thinking more about your blog and it triggered something.
I’ve spent a lot of time in the past wondering why people don’t take the time to connect with their friends and family unless its convenient. Granted, good friends stay good friends and when they do connect after a long time they pick up right where they last were. But is hanging around waiting to connect with friends and family who make excuses for life fruitless and without reward? Hanging around and doing nothing is. Someone has to make the first move right? I decided to be that person this year to see what would happen. If you get a chance, take a look at my blog today. It was created in large part because of your inspiration above. Maybe we can create one small ripple that changes the flow of the little world that surrounds us…….Thanks.
That’s such a valuable statement, Carol. I’m a bit embarrassed to say, I’ve sometimes let time pass too quickly with a few of my friends. This year I’m hoping to reconnect. This was a great reminder.
God, I hope older women have learned this by now! Hey, check out the D&C’s website, my nephew has an op ed published there today. It’s on my FB. Apple, tree, etc.
“Una canzone”, I lIKE IT! Excuses are like a song and our only worth for the person giving them. The saddest part is when we make up excuses for ourselves. The next time I try to pull that one, I’ll just repeat, “una canzone”. Great article!
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I love them message on the chalkboard.
Not because people don’t make time for me because
I need a reminder to take the time.
Have a positive and powerful day!
Participation required!
Absolutely correct, Carol. Our lives our busy and full…no excuses needed. And friendships–well, if they’re not mutual, what the heck is the point?
Mutuality is important in life, I’ve come to see.
I agree. Why do we let ourselves be held hostage to the notion of friendships/relationships when evidence shows us the other person doesn’t hold respect for us? So glad to see you discuss this in a broader context. I’m letting go of people like that this year….life is too short!
Exactly. Exactly!
It’s liberating, isn’t it? 🙂
Yes, and I thought I was already liberated! 😉
Family and friends are so precious
I understand canceling plans to go to to a lecture that I was never really interested in and don’t involve others. But I will travel many many miles to be with people I care about. If they can’t make the time to see me–bye!
I hear you!
Ciao Robin! The chalkboard reminds me about what bloggers do. If you’re not posting interesting material, the others don’t drop a comment or hit the like button. I think the trick is to present your true self. Hello world, these are the ABC’s of me. See who makes a true connection and notice the others who only give una canzone or run away.
(It’s Carol! how did you get Robin?) I agree, though. 100%.
New Rule…no blogging before coffee. I made a post on Robin Kalinich’s blog just before I came here. 🙂
I’m glad to meet you–have coffee with me any time!
Carol,
Well versed.
This is even more important as we get older.
If you are a Baby Boomer like me then there really isn’t any time for folks who won’t “make the effort”
Agree!
Carol,
I got to thinking more about your blog and it triggered something.
I’ve spent a lot of time in the past wondering why people don’t take the time to connect with their friends and family unless its convenient. Granted, good friends stay good friends and when they do connect after a long time they pick up right where they last were. But is hanging around waiting to connect with friends and family who make excuses for life fruitless and without reward? Hanging around and doing nothing is. Someone has to make the first move right? I decided to be that person this year to see what would happen. If you get a chance, take a look at my blog today. It was created in large part because of your inspiration above. Maybe we can create one small ripple that changes the flow of the little world that surrounds us…….Thanks.
That’s such a valuable statement, Carol. I’m a bit embarrassed to say, I’ve sometimes let time pass too quickly with a few of my friends. This year I’m hoping to reconnect. This was a great reminder.
Hey, thanks, Jennifer!
How about OLD women!
God, I hope older women have learned this by now! Hey, check out the D&C’s website, my nephew has an op ed published there today. It’s on my FB. Apple, tree, etc.
Yep. I pretty much associate with whom I want to associate with. I love old age!
“Una canzone”, I lIKE IT! Excuses are like a song and our only worth for the person giving them. The saddest part is when we make up excuses for ourselves. The next time I try to pull that one, I’ll just repeat, “una canzone”. Great article!
Si, una canzone. Song and dance, too! 😉