We lose everything

June 23, 2017

losing-everythingLife is full of losses. Think about this: eventually, everything we love will be lost to us.

The carefree days of our youth.

Our pets.

Our parents and loved ones.

Our independence.

And more.  I know what you’re going to say–it’s depressing! don’t remind me!

Well, I have a different view. Losing everything we love is the natural order of life. And yes, it’s sad and it’s something to grieve. Also natural.

How often do we stop to grieve those losses? Not often.

Loss is something we don’t like to think about it and we DON’T think about it, unless we’re forced to by a specific loss. And then, we can come undone by the grief. Because that one loss could be the last straw, the one final loss that causes the house of cards to fall.

Which is the reason we should be processing grief all the way through life. As loss occurs. Because avoiding it, “stuffing it,” just makes it far worse. And more depressing.

As uncomfortable as grief is, it must be faced. We can wait until it mounts up and the impact can paralyze us or we can grieve it as it happens, a little at a time.

I’m not saying it’s easy. I know first-hand just how hard it is. But to live a full and healthy life, we must feel our grief and work our way through it.

There are many effective ways to handle loss. We’ve got several useful tools to help you process grief.  I hope you’ll check them out, if you haven’t already.


26 comments on “We lose everything
  1. I think what’s so critical to understand is not only do we need to process loss, but we need to know that everyone processes it in a different way in their own time. We need to remember that we are not the ‘boss of loss’ when it comes to our family and friends sharing the same loss. That may be one of the most difficult lessons. Sharing your post, Carol. because you never know on what day someone may need this important message. Thanks!

  2. I agree with you. Acknowledging losses and allowing yourself to feel sad, lonely, depressed or what have you is the only way to get through the experience. In fact I’m sure that’s why I started blogging.

  3. Hi Carol! I’m doing my best to see all reframe all ideas of “loss” as just another version of letting go….and yes, there is no escaping it. Life changes constantly and the more we can flow with it the better. And yeah, doing it with friends always helps! ~Kathy

  4. Sarah says:

    I totally agree! I actually learned to handle grief and really feel into it when I had my first break up when I was in my late teens. I learned not to bottle it up or try to forget, I made myself feel everything even though it was tough, but in the long run it was the best things I could’ve done. I’ve since then applied this into the many other areas of my life where losses exist. Great post!

  5. Tara Pittman says:

    Facing grief is very hard. I chose not too many years ago when my brother was killed and it took me years to recover from it.

  6. Grief is a natural part of life and the older we get the more we experience.When it’s expected it’s easier to deal with. When it’s not, it can be devastating. You are doing such an amazing service for so many people.

  7. Life most certainly is full of losses. But we must focus on the things we gain rather than dwelling on loss. Plus loss can be a good thing.

  8. This exactly the truth: “But to live a full and healthy life, we must feel our grief and work our way through it.” I always do this when in grief.

  9. Coralie says:

    Everyone processes grief differently and it can be really hard to deal with loss. It is not so hard for me since I believe in life after death and being able to be reunited with my loved ones again. It can still be hard to endure. I lost my sister two years ago and miss her like crazy still.

  10. Clint says:

    Grief is a natural part of our emotions. We all process it differently and go through the trials on different levels. It is important to remember that you are not alone and that there is always someone there to turn to.

  11. I’ve been widowed twice, mother died of dementia and have survived breast cancer. All of these things I’ve had to grieve as well as the life I lived before. You’re right. It’s not easy.

  12. kelly reci says:

    I love the topic very much! Gonna check out the Process Grief link!

  13. Sarah Bailey says:

    Loss is one of those awful things, something we all process differently, but something we all need to deal with or it can become a worrying place.

  14. I can’t imagine some of the losses that people go through. I just don’t know if I could handle it.

  15. Ali Rost says:

    Even though intellectually I realize loss is a part of life, sometimes I have to remind my heart. A few months ago we lost our dog, Z. I still miss him terribly, and when waves of sadness wash over me, I remind myself how fortunate I was to have been given him to love.

  16. Anosa says:

    Loss is part and parcel of life and once we learn to accept that things become a little easier in life. A lovely reminder you’ve shared

  17. Thank you for the loving reminder. Loss is hard. But eventually, when we transition from this life, we come away with only our souls. Everything else is illusion. Love is all that matters.

  18. Czjai says:

    Losing a loved one can be truly devastating and painful. It’s not something I would want to experience again.

  19. Such a mind provoking post! We really do lose everything, but I never even thought of it like that! As you grow older, you just learn to accept things you cannot control.

  20. Echo says:

    With loss comes growth. Unfortunately, we need to learn from these losses. I know, because I have experienced many in my lifetime.

  21. Ronnie says:

    I think the fact that there is loss makes us appreciate what we have (or at least remember to appreciate from time to time, instead of take for granted). As I age, I appreciate my loved ones more because I know loss is imminent. Perhaps some would see it as sad, but I see it as natural and a way to ensure I don’t take their presence for granted.

  22. Every loss is a teachable moment. Something positive comes out anything lost. Great post.

  23. vanessa palma says:

    It’s a struggle for me to process my grief. But you are right, if it isn’t dealt with it will deal with you.

  24. Donna says:

    When I was 8 my mother died, my father said to me, “your mother died and we aren’t going to talk about it again” that is how I have handled grief ever since. Nope, not healthy. And no idea how to fix it

  25. Jennifer L says:

    I definitely believe there’s a balance to everything. If we’re going to heal we need to experience the grief to lead to the healing. It’s letting us work through it without us wallowing in it.

  26. Elizabeth o says:

    Life is filled with moments to celebrate and moments to grieve and as we get older, it becomes even more so. What comes to mind is the famous biblical verse that begins with… For everything, there is a season…

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