That’s the thing about loss, isn’t it? Our world changes forever. Our hearts break.
Someone we love leaves. A beloved pet crosses the Rainbow Bridge. Death takes a family member. We’re laid off. Friends we cared about move on.
The configuration of our daily lives change overnight and we are left to stitch together what remains and fashion a new life from what remains. It’s not easy. Decades ago the Supremes sang “My world is empty without you, babe,” and that is truly how many of us feel after loss.
Moving forward is not “moving on”
Often people want us to “move on” long before we are ready. Because all losses require a grieving period –and that’s different for everyone. My first big loss was in my early 20s: my much-loved grandfather. I remember pulling over to the side of the road to cry many times in those first two years. The loss was unexpected and what did I know about death at that age? I’d been lucky.
When my mom died it WAS expected but the grief still went on for a long time. After a couple year a therapist told me I needed to get over it. Oh, not in those terms. But that was the message. Yeah…NO. People never “get over” the loss of someone they love but they usually and eventually “get through” grief. Because that’s the better term. And there is no time limit.
It’s been 23 years since my mother died. I moved through active grief in a few years, which sounds like a long time. Felt like it, too. And after that, well, there was a hole, a void, a missing piece. There still is.
Honoring my mom
That loss, my mother, was the inspiration for the grief tools I offer. Like the affirmations deck shown here.
The grief “affirmations” are really thoughts, meditations, to help us release those natural emotions and begin to look at death differently. Because all things end, and death of a loved one? That’s the hardest thing to accept and make sense of. So the 50 daily meditations/thoughts/affirmations help us consider in some new ways.
The Guided Journal through Grief is really a memory book. Our memories of our loved one.
My husband said about our friend who died in January, “It was privilege to know him,“ and that brought tears to my eyes. But using the prompts on each page to remember just what a privilege it was, how kind he was, what we miss about him? And doing some of it together? It’s helping process our grief…helping us move through those sad, sad feelings.
Since we spent so much time with him, our life has been rearranged now, too, These gentle, supportive grief tools can help make sense of how life is now.
Those who receive condolence gifts give them very high marks. Here’s what’s on offer at easy-on-the-budget prices in my Etsy shop:
Large grief gift with both journal and cards, plus the candle and an Apache Tear grief stone.
If you’re going through a loss, please accept my gentle condolences and if you’re gifting a loved one with some of these tools, know that these gifts are so loved, they have all five star reviews.
My late best friend’s birthday would have been Monday. This morning, I was decluttering, and found a picture taken by family at the last event she was able to attend before her illness became too severe. She’s been gone for almost eight years now and if any therapist had dared tell me to “get over it”after a couple of years…enough said. It’s strange, too, that this isn’t the first time something like this has happened but perhaps that’s a story for another time.
When my brother died, I was devastated but when my sister died, it rearranged my world. I didn’t have my anchor anymore. She was more than a sister, she was a second mother (15 when I was born) and a friend. We could talk on the phone for hours, even if we just saw each other the day before. If she were still alive, I’d still be living in Connecticut because I wouldn’t want to move away from her.
Here you’ll find my blog, some of my essays, published writing, and my solo performances. There’s also a link to my Etsy shop for healing and grief tools offered through A Healing Spirit.
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That loss, my mother, was the inspiration for the grief tools I offer. Like the affirmations deck shown here.
My late best friend’s birthday would have been Monday. This morning, I was decluttering, and found a picture taken by family at the last event she was able to attend before her illness became too severe. She’s been gone for almost eight years now and if any therapist had dared tell me to “get over it”after a couple of years…enough said. It’s strange, too, that this isn’t the first time something like this has happened but perhaps that’s a story for another time.
It’s a story I would like to hear one day, Alana.
You are doing such a good work with your beautiful cards and journals!
I’m so glad there are people like you in the world that HELP!
When my brother died, I was devastated but when my sister died, it rearranged my world. I didn’t have my anchor anymore. She was more than a sister, she was a second mother (15 when I was born) and a friend. We could talk on the phone for hours, even if we just saw each other the day before. If she were still alive, I’d still be living in Connecticut because I wouldn’t want to move away from her.