February 20, 2017

I know there was a time when I was love-mad. But I can hardly remember it.

Do you remember the kind of love that made you feel off the charts, manic if things were going well and then so low you were below bottom if things weren’t going well?

THAT kind of love. Oh, I remember it. Even if I can’t make those love-mad feelings reappear.

Well, here’s the fact, maybe even a sad fact: When we grow up we just don’t have the stomach for this kind of love-madness. We want slippers, a robe and a pipe.  We want Hallmark Movie Channel and badly-behaving housewives reality programming on the DVR. We want…comfort.

Yes, young and energetic romantics, this is what happens as people age and yes, it will happen to you, too. You might be love-mad now, but give yourself a decade or two and see how you feel. Ok, maybe three or four decades. (I matured rather late in that regard.) But you will outgrow it.

The truth is that I don’t much miss that love-mad craziness that maturity eradicated. It takes a lot of energy to be up and down so many times and I can find better uses for that energy today.

“I’ll love you with all the madness of my soul” is a line that could only be written by a young person and I’m glad one did. But I’m equally glad those days are over for me.

You? Ever been love-mad? Are you still?

27 comments on “Love-mad
  1. Thecla says:

    My husband and I have been married for almost 6 years. That “mad love” feeling can come and go, and sometimes showing love is a choice. I think that if love is based off principle and not feeling, then love will always exist. That “mad love” feeling, in my opinion, can be more prevalent even after many many years! Those are my thoughts anyways.. thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  2. Stacey says:

    Nope its gone after 21 years. Honestly I would love a crazy love mad encounter, but honestly I don’t thin kI have the energy to live up to my side of the bargain. He comes home every night with a smile, so I guess we’re good. lol

  3. I’ve been in love before but that was over 30 years ago. It wasn’t great and I haven’t wanted a repeat of it. I’d rather spend time doing the things I love with friends and family.

  4. Gina says:

    My husband and I have been together for 13 years now. I am happy to say we are still going strong and our relationship is our haven.

  5. There’s something nice about the stability of a mature love. And there is something a little exciting about ‘mad’ love–but I think what you’re talking about (at least to me) is not necessarily about passion but the ups and downs, the slightly frenetic energy of newly formed relationships.
    I’m in a new relationship–very early days–and sorting out my feelings and what matters most to me in finding a partner. It’s different now, given my age and experiences.

  6. Puneet Kumar says:

    There is always a insanity in every sane relationship – sometimes we face only insanity and sometime sanity however it is hard to say which one is sane and which insanity driven.This is life and we choose the best smile. Life will always seem beautiful like a sweet smile chose wisely. …. with all insanity if possible all the time.

  7. I went through a midlife crisis about 15 years ago and went practically insane in love. I think I was hypnotized. It was fun, though. I wouldn’t mind going through that again. It was good exercise. LOL

  8. There has been times where I thought I have been in love but I haven’t, they say that love is eternal but like you said I do think it changes over time. Well put.

  9. Ruth says:

    Aw, I never want to lose that loved up feeling – but sofas and slippers definitely sound appealing ????

  10. eazynazy says:

    very nice post 🙂 & yes i am in mad in love wit my husband and my son <3 i just can't imagine my life without them <3

  11. Basim says:

    there is no other feeling as love. when you see your lover, your hearts starts pounding.

  12. Laurie Stone says:

    Someone once called that kind of love, “beautiful sorrow.” It aches, but feels good. Its happy, but also misery. And you’re right. Crazy love way too much energy, but I look back, and don’t regret any of them.

  13. Haralee says:

    The ups and downs the uncertainty the second guessing the his the lows the drama, way too much energy for me now in my dotage!

  14. I’m thrilled that those times of elation and then heart-wrenching pain are pretty much over but every once in awhile my husband does something so wonderful I fall madly in love with him all over again. I appreciate and am grateful for the security and the friendship that mature, real love offers.

  15. Amber Myers says:

    I know I’ve had that mad love feeling with my husband now and again. We’ve been married for 16 years now so we’re doing something right!

  16. I much prefer the stability, comfort, security and serenity of mature love. I feel as if I’m home instead of trying to find a place to land, wondering if the ground will hold. Love madness always had me off-kilter; I like feeling settled. The memories are fun, but I love where I am now.

  17. Elizabeth O. says:

    I certainly remember that kind of love. It was a little crazy and risky and it was also emotionally draining. it’s true though, as you grow older you’re going to also grow tired of a love like that.

  18. Kelly Reci says:

    i love reading a successful love story, and i feel sad when it fails. im happy that me and my husband are growing stronger! this is a very inspiring article.

  19. I love that line, and I love your comparison between the two love styles. I was a love-mad youth, and I almost desperately wanted passion in my romantic life. These days though, things are a little different. Now, I just want someone to curl up next to me on the couch and watch a movie, someone to hold my hand while he’s driving, someone to go walk the dog with. Someone to talk to. Like you said – comfort.

  20. Michelle says:

    You know..I didn’t THINK I was still in the mad-love stage until my husband became gravely ill a year ago (he’s better now) and then I realized that I was was and am, madly in love. After 22 years.

  21. I never want to lose that lovey dovey feeling! Still 22, still learning 🙂

  22. hillsmom says:

    I’ve been married for a very looooong time.I remember the years ago “being in love”, especially one before him. As I look back fondly, it should be called “being in lust” “And so it goes…” Divorce? No. Murder? Maybe. Yes, things change as all of us must, like it or not.
    Thanks for the memories. =^..^=

  23. Well written! I’ve those love mad experience when I was in my teens. I’m happily married to a good man for almost 2 decades and I’d say our love for each other is constant.

  24. I still have my super-excited (madly in love) feelings with lots of different things actually – that does translate in some lows as well of course. But it gets less over time I guess. My robe and my slippers have always been good friends of mine haha

  25. Yes and it was 24 years ago when I met my husband. I didn’t think second time around would bring those intense feelings but it sure did. I used to hate the word ‘comfortable’ referring to our feelings but now I agree, I love the feeling of just being together and not even having to speak. The roller coaster of mad love is certainly something I’m glad I experienced but now I’m happy to just enjoy love without the drama.

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