Love the people who treat you right. Forget about those who don’t.
I’d make a tweak in that “Love the people who treat you right.” I’d say “Love everyone. But forget about those who don’t treat you right.”
“Don’t pay any attention to people who don’t treat you right.” That’s the main concept.
Doesn’t this make perfect sense? It sounds like a no-brainer, doesn’t it? So obvious.
And yet, how many times does our focus stick on those who don’t treat us right? Those we believe have wronged us in some way? I know you get what I mean.
Those old relationships are like a scab we can’t help but return to again and again, picking at it until it bleeds one more time.
Love everyone. Forget about those who don’t treat you right.
Of course, it refers to “love” in the general sense. Yes, romantic love, because at one time or another we’ve each suffered for love. Or from love.
But also “love” in the sense of family and beloved friends. Any kind of love.
When those people don’t treat us right, it’s difficult to ignore. Sometimes we believe it is impossible to move past it. And yet, what a waste of energy it is to stay stuck. Because we can bet our bottom dollar they aren’t giving us a second thought. Also because there are so many others in our lives who treat us right and deserve our attention, our focus.
And we deserve to allow ourselves that positive focus, too.
In going through some old boxes that had sat idle for more than a decade I found some wonderful photographs: me with people no longer in my life. A dear woman friend who left the friendship. My sister, who is no longer in my life. Men I’d been in deep, meaningful relationship with. It tilted me a little off balance that day as I considered what they had meant to me.
I thought about all these people had given me, the gifts of love, friendship, companionship. Some gave me gifts having to do with spirituality or creativity. And some just gave me challenges to face and surmount so that I could grow.
As I thought about each person, I blessed them and my memories, and sent any remnants of the relationship up to spirit. These loved ones had served their holy purpose in my life.
I felt free. In some cases, I saved a few of the photographs, thinking I might use them to prod memory for writing something about it one day.
But mostly, I blessed the memories and let go.
There are so many loving people still in my life to attend to. People who fill me with sunshine.
I completely agree. For some reason we tend to focus on those that haven’t or don’t treat us right instead of embracing the ones that do. It’s almost like ‘I wasn’t successful in getting that person to love me so I’ll keep trying and going back for more’? 🙂
Such a great reminder! I see so many of my family and friends holding on to one that hurt them…It’s hard to move on and forget someone you truly cared about
I agree! I feel all relationship – romantic or otherwise – need to have a balance of give and take. Some days – it’s 60/40 while others its 90/10. As long as it all evens out at the end of the day – that’s what matters. I believe all relationships have to have equal balance. I’ve had some where it was all about the other person and they just don’t work! Nice post Carol!
Of course you are right, Carol, and it took me a long time to let go of things. But now I let go a lot sooner, and as we prepare to move I plan on going through the enormous amount of photo boxes/books to discard some I no longer need to hold on to.
It does sound simple….and yet, how hard it can be. When Randy had his double lung transplant, I found out who truly cared about me, my family, and Rando. The others…I have let go, not in anger, but just…let go.
Letting go is something I do well. Never mind that it took me 50 years to learn. I look back and often think that it is the things I have been able to let go that have made the biggest difference in my life. Something to think about.
See, I agree to an extent. I’ve had so many people treat me and my kids very badly, and I don’t have time to deal with that so I just move on. I treat everyone as I want to be treated but those who deserve to be here are, and who don’t well they aren’t!
For Paula Schuck
I needed to read this today. Sometimes it is very hard not to pick at the scabs and make yourself bleed but we need to learn to let the wound heal and the scab will then fall off.
I truly people believe people come into our lives to serve a purpose good or bad and when that purpose has been served they leave.
Letting go isn’t always easy but we have to so room can be made for someone else.
I wish I had had the supportive acceptance that so many people seem to think is normal. I’ve not experienced that kind of acceptance in most relationships. Learning to not tolerate abuse when you are well into adulthood can leave you with a very small social circle, so I am not quick to judge people who stay in less than perfect relationships.
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So true! A great reminder for us all. 🙂
I completely agree. For some reason we tend to focus on those that haven’t or don’t treat us right instead of embracing the ones that do. It’s almost like ‘I wasn’t successful in getting that person to love me so I’ll keep trying and going back for more’? 🙂
Love this, Carol! I have a box or two like this myself. Perhaps it is time for me to go through them and reflect as you did…
So very true, Carol. I love how you considered even the challenges a blessing, as they gave opportunities for growth.
Such a great reminder! I see so many of my family and friends holding on to one that hurt them…It’s hard to move on and forget someone you truly cared about
I agree! I feel all relationship – romantic or otherwise – need to have a balance of give and take. Some days – it’s 60/40 while others its 90/10. As long as it all evens out at the end of the day – that’s what matters. I believe all relationships have to have equal balance. I’ve had some where it was all about the other person and they just don’t work! Nice post Carol!
So true, but challenging. However, it does help to make sense of bad behavior.
Of course you are right, Carol, and it took me a long time to let go of things. But now I let go a lot sooner, and as we prepare to move I plan on going through the enormous amount of photo boxes/books to discard some I no longer need to hold on to.
I love this post on so many levels.
I do agree with this quote. As we get older we need to put importance to those who nourish and make our lives better.
I agree that love is beyond romanticism love is more than that, is that special sentiment that allows you to be kind with others and yourself.
It does sound simple….and yet, how hard it can be. When Randy had his double lung transplant, I found out who truly cared about me, my family, and Rando. The others…I have let go, not in anger, but just…let go.
Letting go is something I do well. Never mind that it took me 50 years to learn. I look back and often think that it is the things I have been able to let go that have made the biggest difference in my life. Something to think about.
Great reminder Carol!
See, I agree to an extent. I’ve had so many people treat me and my kids very badly, and I don’t have time to deal with that so I just move on. I treat everyone as I want to be treated but those who deserve to be here are, and who don’t well they aren’t!
For Paula Schuck
I needed to read this today. Sometimes it is very hard not to pick at the scabs and make yourself bleed but we need to learn to let the wound heal and the scab will then fall off.
This is a great way to think about relationships!
I love this post. A powerful, positive reminder to look toward the good and let go of the not so good. Cheers!
I think it is good to let go sometimes. Some relationships are jut not healthy.
Lovely post, Carol. Letting go can be hard, but once it happens it feels so freeing.
I like your spin on it. It’s important to not totally discount anyone, but some just aren’t worth spending your time worrying about.
I truly people believe people come into our lives to serve a purpose good or bad and when that purpose has been served they leave.
Letting go isn’t always easy but we have to so room can be made for someone else.
I wish I had had the supportive acceptance that so many people seem to think is normal. I’ve not experienced that kind of acceptance in most relationships. Learning to not tolerate abuse when you are well into adulthood can leave you with a very small social circle, so I am not quick to judge people who stay in less than perfect relationships.
A great perspective, Carol. I did a similar exercise (exorcise?!) the other day!