When is a chance one too many chances?

October 24, 2022


Too many chances.

Do I give people too many chances?

I wonder, sometimes.

I forgive easily.

Do not hold grudges.

Do not mind starting over with someone or even where we left off years before.

It’s why my husband and I remarried 26 years after he divorced me.

And yet, I don’t see much of that ability to move forward in a new way in others.

I wonder why that is. Why some people hold on to their grudges for a lifetime, letting that poison run free in their psyches.

I wonder why people are unable to turn the page, start a new chapter,  let bygones be bygones.

People hurt one another. They make mistakes.

But these things do not need to be fatal.

Yeah, I know you’re reading this and thinking it’s about you. But it’s not.

It’s about a bunch of people I’ve observed over the years. And wondered about.

I’m kind of stubborn.I don’t take offense all that easily.  I’ll definitely give people lots of chances. Second, third and even more.

Maybe too many.

But not always.

Sometimes I’ll accept a closed door. Usually because I can see they have nothing to offer me, even if the door were open.

Still, I wonder. Because sometimes I’m willfully blind to the fact that there’s nothing on the side of that closed door.

Are there ever too many chances?

10 comments on “When is a chance one too many chances?
  1. Beth Havey says:

    I still believe in my chances–the ability to do certain things, to find that rainbow. A new chapter is always there, we just need the strength to turn that page.

    • It’s my nature, too. My favorite medium has said to me before, in frustration, “But, Carol, that’s who you are! You are all about reconciliation!” (I love you, Hollister…)

  2. Rena says:

    I guess it depends on the person and the situation. Some things are just unforgivable but others are really just intolerant and sometimes it’s hard to figure out which one it is. We have to take ourselves out of it completely to get a clear objective.

  3. Laurie Stone says:

    It takes too much energy to hold a grudge. If they’re truly out the door, then I don’t see them anymore. But constant fighting or debating is debilitating.

  4. Diane says:

    I remember my friend, Bev saying, “I give chance after chance. Until I look in the mirror and see footprints on my face. Then I’m done.”
    Yep. At some time you have to STOP giving chances and just get off the train track!

  5. Alana says:

    Are there ever too many chances? It’s hard, many times, to untangle “was it me” or “was it you” in a situation. But, more recently, I wondered if there is such a thing as too many chances. Would I bring a person who expressed hate (not respectful disagreement, but hate) against who I am and my core beliefs back into my life if he or she proved she had overcome that and was working to promote the good, for example? I don’t have an answer yet. You always make me think.

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