Every day a surgeon makes decisions that can go one of two ways: either very good or very, very, very bad.
The problem is that the epically great decisions and the epically bad ones look exactly the same when you’re making them.
So said the character Meredith Grey on the TV show, Grey’s Anatomy
The secret to Grey’s Anatomy is that Shonda Rimes knows that medicine is not just a life and death matter, it’s a metaphor for life. She and her writers show us that every week. Ok, yes, sometimes over the top. But then, there are lines like the one above.
How true is it that the best and worst decisions look identical when we’re making them?
Back in my early 30s I accepted a marriage proposal after dating someone less than a year. My rationale was that I loved him and so why did it matter whether I married him now or in a year?
It mattered. But my rationale made perfect sense, to me.
It just didn’t to those who loved me.
And that’s the thing. Our decisions almost always look good to us or we wouldn’t make them.
But reality-test them with a few loved ones and you just might get a different answer.
Once I learned to do that I was forced to hear points of views that differed with mine.
I didn’t always listen, though.
And as a result, I made some epically bad decisions.
It’s hard to have regrets because my life ended up ok. But who knows where I might have gone had those bad decisions not been so epically bad?
Yes, decisions are hard. It’s helpful to remember that we don’t look at them clearly and that getting other points of view can be helpful.
And sometimes, we really should actually listen to them.