A nice young man out doing the family grocery shopping.
Something my father and most men of his generation wouldn’t be caught dead doing.
Men of today, they participate in household chores. They take care of the kids. Do the dishes. Help with the laundry
And go to the grocery. Even men in the Boomer generation can be found on any aisle of the grocery store any day of the week.
But, I have a bone to pick with them.
They don’t know the rules of the road.
Men in grocery stores? They leave the cart in the middle of the aisle as they go looking for the peanuts, further down that aisle.
They don’t think that they’re completely blocking the way for other shoppers, who have to squeeze by or even move the abandoned cart.
They don’t think because in their world, they’ve always been the center of the universe. So why wouldn’t they still be?
I’ve got news for you men:
You are not the center of the grocery shopping universe.
We WOMEN are the center of that universe. And we don’t like it ONE BIT when you leave your cart in an aisle blocking the the way for other shoppers. Shoppers on a mission every bit as in important as yours.
Oh, they also come tearing around the end of aisles like Mario Andretti without looking to see if other cart traffic that they can’t see is heading their way.
That’s right. They don’t look.
Most men look when they drive a car.
They understand who’s got the right of way?
But in the grocery? Men think they own the aisles.
And the right of way.
Now, I’m all for men sharing household tasks. And nothing makes me happier than the rare occasion when M does the grocery shopping alone.
Which he’ll do, but only if I have written out in detail what I want, what brand, etc. Because these things are not intuitive to him.
But still, it’s a nice gesture.
Even though when he comes with me and is driving the cart he tends to leave it where ever the hell he pleases.
Which irritates me.
And he’s really not trainable.
Most men aren’t, not really.
So my next step is going to be to teach Riley to do the shopping.
I think I’ve got a better shot at teaching him the rules of the road. What do you think?
And while we are on the subject, they DON’T BAG. Line is five deep, I’m late, and they just stand there, waiting for the cashier to “do it all.” Drives me nuts. I avoid check out lines with men in them.
OMG. Bagging. Yes. I have to prod mine to bag. I kind of like bagging, myself.
I know this is the norm, but my husband is awesome at grocery shopping. So much so that I answered a question on FB about who is the best shopper I know, and I answered my husband. It got us to Jean Chatzky, the finance guru who works for NBC and other outlets, to come to our home to film us here and at our grocery store, and then they asked my husband to be on The TODAY Show for their segment “Shop Like a Man”!!! (See the clip on the sidebar of my blog.)
Now my son is a great shopper.
My dad? He never shopped, and he would have been a lot like what you described. Oy vey.
Yes…I can relate. My biggest problem is my husband will buy the most expensive items and completely avoid coupons. He spends twice the amount I do…so I try to keep him away!
Training. They need training.
If I sent Captain to the Acme to grocery shop, I’m sure he’d return with nothing but poultry. But good luck with Riley!
AT least it’s healthy!
This may be true but I have encountered many women who are guilty of much of the same – leaving their cart in the middle of the aisle or coming around the bend like a bat out of hell.
My favorite episode was when some mom accused me of running over her bratty kid’s foot on purpose. Seriously? LOL
OOPS. Apparently , I’m in the center of my own Universe. . I always leave my card in the middle of the isle walking around looking and looking. I could be in a different isle and forget which isle I left my cart. Yikes. There you have my confession for the week.
You’re really a man, Rosie!
Steve shops, but I try not to watch. You know, too much information, along with half of what we need for the week. I don’t mind shopping, but I hate unloading the groceries, so I’d happily trade tasks.
Yes, cover your eyes.
Carol, I’m sure you experienced the old guys in Florida, who “have all day.” They get to the register and start long conversations with the check out person about inane things and THEN take out their wallets and decide among their credit cards which one to use. PAY already!
Fortunately, I never lived in a retirement city so I was spared that unless I was visiting Sarasota or something. What gets me also are the clerks who absolutely must look at the magazines I’m buying, putting a halt to any checkout progress.
I thought ALL of Florida was a retirement community! 😉
You know dogs can be taught to shop but the right brand may be difficult, or comparison pricing, same problems some men appear to have.
(burst out laughing)
Proud to say that Mr 2Half and both of my sons are exceptions to this post. But, I totally agree with the fact that most men should be banned from groceries stores until passing a class. Just kidding, well, sort of just kidding.
Ha ha! My husband is actually a good shopper but, personally, I would rather see those adorable dogs pushing the cart in the grocery store!
I can’t let my hubby go grocery shopping. He’s the foodie in the house, and he always comes home with twice as much stuff (and twice the bill) as I do!
My husband definitely breaks the rules – he’s a pretty great grocery shopper. And every time he returns home from Costco I get to listen to him rant about all the shoppers that were doing the same things you described, but especially abandoning their carts in the middle of the aisles while they rush over to get their free samples!
Can I just say that grocery shopping is a two part deal. If you buy the groceries you get to put them away when you get home.
Ours will stay on the counter until they’re consumed.
One other concept with grocery shopping- figure out where you’re going to put whatever it is you buy. My husband bought FIVE boxes of cereal last night and SIX bags of chips. Where is it all supposed to go? Our pantry just isn’t that big!
OMG! I just laughed so loudly!!! My husband who is usually a very considerate person, sometimes parks the cart, not just in the middle of the aisle but across the aisle! Too funny!
My husband is the kind of guy who will go to five different stores to get stuff. I can’t complain (too much) about it, I guess. He enjoys it and he likes to cook too, although he isn’t a clean as you go kinda guy. It’s a work in progress. When we were first married, he shopped and I did the laundry. Somewhere along the line, we decided to trade jobs every week. That’s been the pattern for lo these many decades. Guess it’s working out!
I love that idea! But I like laundry.
My husband never gets the right thing on the list
always something different
and then other things we don’t need
I NEVER send him if I don’
t have to.
I have to admit that my husband is improving. But he says he never wants to get too good at it, same way he never learned to type well.
oops, thats me, I leave the shopping cart many, many places I shouldn’t.
But then I do believe the universe revolves around me…
But Donna–that’s what I LOVE about you! and you about ME!
My husband just comes home with junk food…even though he KNOWS I don’t have any self control! 😉
You are SO right! And they’re always making calls in the aisle. “Hon, did you tell me to get the green olives or the black ones?” “Where’s cereal?” “Did you want the thin sliced ham or medium sliced?” Oy!
And I would love it if mine did the laundry. But then again…I’m a little scared!
They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks so I’m afraid there’s no hope for any of them.
So true, Carol. If my husband accompanies me it takes us FOREVER to get through the grocery store.(and I really like to spend as little time in there as possible). He wants to rearrange things everytime I put something in the cart, buy the frozen stuff last; all the while I am thinking, if we could just speed up our time, the frozen stuff would still be frozen when we got to the check-out. I think the funniest thing I ever saw was an older gentleman with a cart full of duplicates of several items, like 8 cans of icing, 8 boxes of cereal, etc. when he got to the check out, the cashier explained that the discount was for 8 of anything NOT 8 of 8 different things…to which he said, ” Oh, I don’t give a darn, my wife sent me to get stuff and this store is so confusing and I ain’t gonna go put all this back, so just bag it.” I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when he got home.
My husband never brings home anything I need. NEVER.
I hope my husband is respectful of others while he does the grocery shopping. I don’t mind him going, but he breaks the “no snacks or junk food” rule and always brings crap home.
Actually, I find women are far worse about leaving their carts in the middle of the aisle than men. And I have ZERO patience for it. I also HATE the browser shoppers. Listen, I have a list, and I want to get in and out of here FAST. Grocery shopping is not an enjoyable activity for me; it is a necessary evil. I have a system and you’d best stay outta my way!
Phew! It felt good to get that out. 😉
Listen to all of you women bitch !! I know dozens of men who are great shoppers and don’t hog the aisles and bag their own purchases. Maybe you don’t run across them because they are all at Bass Pro Store…..LOL
Jay, Jay, thank you for your always insightful and hilarious take!