When misery loves company

January 12, 2022


The other day I realized that I knew people who only showed up when I had something challenging going on in my life.  Even the appearance of something challenging will elicit “Are you okay?”

But that’s not what I want to hear.

Oh sure, I know many women who bemoan that their friends and acquaintances aren’t there for them in hard times. But me? I want my friends to be there in ALL times.

I want to drop quarters in the jukebox and watch them get up and dance with me.

I want to walk on a beach with them and share secrets like little girls.

I want to laugh over yummy cocktails and cook delicious meals together.

I want to fly off to exotic locales with them or make them coffee after a night in my guest room.

I want to hug them when it’s safe and elbow-bump them when it’s not.

I do not need foul weather friends.

There is time enough for bad things to happen. For that kind of support to be needed. For misery to love company, if it even does.

But right now? I am fully ALIVE.

I want to LIVE and live it up with them.

Who’s IN?
Some of my all-weather friends are in health battles or grieving. Yours, too? Gift them some gentle support right here.


10 comments on “When misery loves company
  1. Sara Broers says:

    A good reminder of why it’s important to LIVE! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  2. Mel Studer says:

    I love this post. This is something that midlife women struggle with. I know that I have. Without those never ending kids sports and activities, it’s harder to figure out ways to actually get out there and meet new friends. And, you really find out who were the good ones in the first place…

    • Yes, that’s really true. I never had kids so didn’t have that built-in commonality. But I did have some of that with my career. but those friends have all relocated, moving on long before retirement. We have wonderful neighbors and I have friends all over the country but of course, it’s not the same as having them here.

  3. Once I hit the 50 mark, I decided to cull certain people from my life, including the ones who only show up for disasters. Who needs the negativity? I’m so much happier now to have friends who are there for all the times.. good and bad!

  4. Diane says:

    This sounds like a large slice of heaven, Carol! I love my all-the-time friends!

  5. Beth Havey says:

    Carol, getting up to dance is meaningful, especially when you do it with the people you love. Covid has made some of this impossible, but while in CA with family–yes, we danced, we sang, we ran around the house, walked the dogs. WE HAD FUN. Fun is as important as breathing.

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