Misheard song lyrics, you say?

January 9, 2017

misheardSome time in the 80s, a friend’s little girl thought Creedence Clearwater Revival sang “There’s a bathroom on the right.” The song was Bad Moon Rising and of course, the misheard lyric was “There’s a bad moon on the rise.”

Don’t you love those old songs with unintelligible lyrics? So we can make up our own?  I listened to Van Morrison’s Brown-eyed Girl hundreds of times … but it wasn’t until a few years ago that I realized he sang “our hearts a thumpin and you, my brown-eyed girl” instead of…well, I would always mumble something equally unintelligible but phonetically related to a-thumpin.

Which leads me to some of the other, commonly misheard lyrics.  Let’s see if you know them:

“On a dark desert highway/Cool Whip in my hair…”

Yes, it’s the Eagles and their Hotel California, but not the right lyric. Do you know what the correct one is?

“See that girl /watch her scream /kicking the dancing queen…”

That is NOT what Abba had in mind for Dancing Queen!

“Two chickens to paralyze…”

Quick! Call the Humane Society! Do you know the song and the right words?

“The girl with colitis goes by…”

Now that’s a good one, do you know it?

“I lost on Jeopardy, baby, oooh..”

The old icon of a show got a bit of a boost when we misheard Greg Kihn ‘s lyrics.

“Like a virgin touched for the 31st time….”

How true this might be of Madonna, but it’s not what she sang.

“Might as well face it you’re a dick with a glove….”

You know how many times I’ve wanted to say that to a man?  The first time I saw this misheard lyric quote I spit out my iced tea.


The bathroom on the right.

“Count the head lice on the highway…”

Now that would be some tedious work. What’s the song and the right words?

“Wrapped up like a douche, another rumor in the night…”

Maybe, like me, you wondered why they were singing about a douche, and also wondered what a douche wrapping is. It’s “revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night” but I never knew till I wrote this post.

“This is the dawning of the age of asparagus…”

Back in the Age of Aquarius, the many benefits of asparagus were not appreciated. I’m pretty sure that this misheard lyric is only misheard by non-Baby Boomer generations.

“…’scuse me while I kiss this guy…”

I would bet that this is a more contemporary “miss,” too, as back in The Day, we’d never think he’d sing about kissing the guy.  I’ve felt like kissing the sky myself, in certain circumstances. But more often, I’ve kissed the guy. And still like to. And in that same vein:

“Hold me closer, Tony Danza…”

What’s the song and what does he sing?

And then, there’s this misheard lyrics video of a Creedence Clearwater song that made me laugh so hard I cried. It’s here, give a listen.

How about you? Got any misheard lyrics to add in the comments below?




















56 comments on “Misheard song lyrics, you say?
  1. Christopher Koshak says:

    This was my friend not me, there is another Credence song called Sweet Hitchhiker’s. My friend thought it was Switch Into High Gear, and argued with me about it for a long time.

  2. Liz Mays says:

    Ok, I’ve ALWAYS wondered about the revved up like a deuce. I have tried and tried to figure out what he was saying and it was impossible. Now I can actually sing along! I remember my daughter singing the phrase “King Midas will be walking on the sun” instead of “you might as well be walking on the sun”. I think it was a Smashmouth song in the 90’s.

  3. ryder ziebarth says:

    FUNNY…esp. the cool whip. My daughter’s a singer in a band, and I often admonish her for unclear lyrics o her albums. She claims it’s the fault of the production manager. Hummmm…not so sure.

  4. Thanks for starting my day, laughing out loud, Carol! such a fun post.

  5. I love reading misheard lyrics. Like, not everyone hears what you hear, and getting a peek into what someone else mishears is always great for a laugh!

  6. Amber says:

    Hahaha, this gave me a good laugh this morning! Thanks! Also, definitely caught some I was guilty of mis hearing as well!

  7. Haralee says:

    So funny! Knights in White Satan?

  8. My favorite has to be “Wrapped up like a douche, another rumor in the night…”. This is a good one. I jumped off my seat when I heard my 7th old sang aloud “What did the fox says” the very first time? Uh huh!!!

  9. hillsmom says:

    Dear Carol, Thank you for the link to the misheard lyrics which provided a good laugh. Then YouTube led me on to the incomparable Ella which made me cry.She’s gone, but not forgotten. I have quite a collection of her albums, but nothing to play them on…except in my mind…sigh. So now you know I’m a different generation from you. ;^)

    I hope you’ll give the answers to the examples you listed since I’ve “wasted” too much time on the computer today.

  10. Omg, I laughed until I cried reading this post. “Two chickens to paralyze,” and then “touched for the 31st time” … I had to take a break for a laugh-fest.

    Now that I’ve recovered, I’m sharing this so my friends can laugh too.

  11. This post made me smile on a cold monday morning! thank you for that!!

    <3 http://alpluslex.com/

  12. Anna Palmer says:

    I also thought there was a bathroom on the right. But Tony Danza? That one is incredible.

  13. Barbara says:

    Well, in our family the most famous misinterpreted lyrics to go my youngest son. When he was 3, Benny and the Jets was a big hit. We were driving down the road while it was on the radio and I quietly said to my husband, “What is he singing?”
    We listened closer and cracked up laughing. The refrain, “bebebe Benny and the Jets” was interpreted as, “papapa Panties on my Head”!
    Forty years later and he’s never lived it down! Ahh, family lore!

  14. That’s the first time I’ve seen the “touched for the thirty-first time,” lyric. So funny. And inspiring.

    It prompted me to look up the lyrics to Honky Tonk Woman because forever,I thought Mick Jagger sang “she had to heave me right across her shoulders,” and I knew that had to be wrong, but I found out it’s exactly that.

  15. I love this! My first job ever, except for babysitting was to listen to 45’s over and over and write the lyrics down for a local cover band. I felt so important and Take It Easy was a stumper for me, it took hours!
    Today my grandkids pull up the you tube lyrics on their gadgets and sing along. They have it so easy.

  16. I am laughing out loud! I had no idea about half of these. I have to say, I prefer some of my lyrics instead of the real ones! Great post!

  17. Lori says:

    So funny! I was just speaking to someone about how I always sing the wrong lyrics to songs. Loved the Credance video.

  18. Nancy Hill says:

    LMAO. When little, my step-daughter thought that the words in “Oh, Donna” from HAIR we “she was a 16 year old merchant” instead of “16 year old virgin.

  19. Amber Myers says:

    How funny! I know I’ve heard different things when listening to songs, that’s for sure.

  20. Lauren says:

    Haha…Omg what a great blog post..

    My favorite one was, “Hold me closer, Tony Danza.” I am going to sing that version sometime 😛

    When I was little, I used to listen to Cher and in her song perfection…The lyrics are…”All my life, I’ve been driven to perfection,” I initially thought the words were…”All my life, I’ve been drinking by the bench.” Then, as I got older, I thought that had to be incorrect and figured out that it must be, “All my life, I’ve been dreaming ’bout perfection.”



  21. Too good! Great way to start out our week!

  22. These are a scream, Carol. Oh and there are so many more that I have sang the wrong words to, but of course I can’t remember them now.

  23. cheryl says:

    I love reading lyrics gone wrong… LOL Thanks for the smile.


    Hahaha love this!!! I just realized a few years ago that the word was duece! I definitely had one great laugh after realizing how silly I was lol

  25. Hilarious! That video had me crying! The face that man makes when he says AHHH killed me! My favorite one though is “The Girl With Colitis Goes By”There was this song called, “It Wasn’t Me” by Shaggy which I have no idea who he is anyway. One line was “…banging on the bathroom floor”. Yes, I know! My niece heard him playing it and she was around for the longest time singing, “Banging On The Bathroom Door” which was an improvement in this case.I used to always say douche!

  26. Umm. Nirvana’s “Nevermind” comes to mind and I still don’t know what he’s saying. But, I don’t want to really look it up because I like mumbling unintelligible lyrics that I can make up each time LOL 😉

    Great post and I was laughing at a few of these!

  27. Kaitlyn says:

    These are hilarious. I had no idea! It is so funny that we get lyrics so mixed up; we only hear what we want to hear. Great post!


  28. These gave me a big laugh. My favourite is the misheard Tony Danza line from the Elton John song – Tiny Dancer. Even knowing better, I always sing Tony Danza instead of tiny dancer. It never gets old.

  29. Caitlin says:

    I laughed the entire time reading these (and the comments!!!)

    My own story to add: When I was in middle school, Blackstreet’s “No Diggity” was a big hit, with the “I like the way you work it / No diggity” on constant reply. My mother was SHOCKED when she first heard the song, thinking they were saying “I like the way you work it / No DIGNITY” … which actually works haha!

    We still laugh about it to this day!

  30. Elizabeth says:

    I love how song lyrics can be misheard. There are so many fab You Tube videos out there of folk dubbing over the video with the wrong lyrics – they are hilarious!

  31. Elizabeth O. says:

    I’ve seen some of these all over the internet, some even have videos. It’s quite hilarious and entertaining. There are those that do this on purpose and there are those that really have no idea about what the lyrics should be,

  32. Chi le says:

    This post is so funny! I like it. Sometimes I misheard the lyrics and it was pretty hilarious really.

  33. Lol at ‘ like a virgin touched for the 31st time’. I have a good one for you Selena Gomez good for you people often mistake the opening line for ‘I’m farting carrots’.

  34. Vicky says:

    Oh yes! Mine is Land Down Under from Men at Work. I always think it goes: I come from a land down under. Six foot four and full of thunder. Can you hear, can you hear the thunder. Men at work, men at play come on.Was very embarrassed when my hubby told me that wasn’t it.

  35. This was pretty good. Definitely got a little chuckle out of ‘touched for the 31st time’…

  36. Diane says:

    This post made me hoot!
    My brother and I argued over so many lyrics. Why, oh why didn’t we have google back then? My favourite mis-heard lyrics have to be my baby sister singing, “Oh, Canada! Our home and naked land!”

  37. Robin Rue says:

    You have definitely cleared up some of these for me. I thought some of these lyrics were other things.

  38. TColeman says:

    It is so funny to see what people think songs are saying in the lyrics. I have definitely had my fair share of screw ups in the past.

  39. Krysten says:

    Omg this made me laugh so hard! I have totally misheard most of those lyrics. What about Taylor Swift and her Starbucks Lover?

  40. Our Family World says:

    I know a few famous lines but I really had a good chuckle from that Dancing Queen line, haha. I worked as a transcriptionist before and I almost always laugh when I hear seemingly funny lines.

  41. Loved the post. Some of the “Misheard” lyrics are really hilarious. Your post has sent me down memory lane and I am trying to think of some more examples.

  42. Urvi says:

    Ha,ha… I can totally relate this to me. I do this all the time. and strange is I relate those lyrics to Bollywood songs 🙂 🙂

  43. shelley says:

    This really made me laugh and also made me thin about that scene in the movie Jumping Jack Flash where Whoopie keeps listening to the song over and over trying to figure out what the lyrics say. Love this!

  44. So funny! I do this all the time LOL There was a Taylor Swift song recently that I thought she was talking about Starbucks in. She was not LOL

  45. This is pretty funny. I think we all have a time when we think we hear something and it fits the song, only to find out it’s not what was said.

  46. Margaretha says:

    I am so glad to know it’s not just me.

  47. My baby brother still prefers the lyrics of Tony Danza to Tiny Dancer. 🙂

  48. Laurie Stone says:

    So funny. My favorite was my husband Randy, thinking the song “Bernadette” by the Temptations was “Burn the Dead.” I had razzing rights for decades after that one.

  49. When my son was little he came home from daycare singing The Boss only his version was “Bong in the USA!” That became a family joke and still makes me laugh. Thanks for bringing these other funner versions of lyrics to our attention. I’m so bad at remembering lyrics I can’t even get them wrong!

  50. Michele says:

    I think of Benny and the Jets… she’s got electric boobs and mohair suit…thanks for the laugh!

  51. Silly Mummy says:

    I just love misheard song lyrics! My favourite from Tiny Dancer is ‘hold me close and tie me down, sir’.

  52. Funny. I’ve”heard” of some of these, not the rest. I knew 6 out of the 12. But … now I know all of them!

  53. WebMDiva says:

    LMAO! These are great!!!

    I have one that I was forever wrong about….Springsteen’s “Blinded by the Light” Wake up like a douche in the middle of the night.

    I was so wrong….bhahahaha.

  54. WebMDiva says:

    PS: #trafficjamweekend

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