Consistent in one thing: my inconsistency

May 16, 2015

I'm not a Mormon.A few years ago I made a confession about a deep secret I’d held, one that I acted on only in the privacy of my office. Just me and my computer.  Here it is:

I’m not Mormon but I read Mormon mom blogs. And I enjoy them. Avidly, I read about modest clothing and staying home to take care of the kids. I read about Family Home Evenings and how the ward supports members in need. I watch videos from the annual Women’s Conference. I even have some Mormon friends.

So you probably can’t figure out how this jibes with my other beliefs. I’m good with gays, caffeine and with showing some T&A. I don’t see porn as evil. I wouldn’t wear secret underwear on a bet. Not so sure there are multiple worlds with multiple Gods, either.  Or tiered heavens. I’m a strong feminist and my politics are way to the left.  Vehemently independent, I chafe when I’m told what to do; well, maybe more than chafe.  I’ve been known to sling the F-bomb a time or two or three.

An oldie.

An oldie. I so don’t get this.

What gives? How can someone like me, so not Mormon, follow this stuff? I can hear people who know me asking that question all over the world.  It’s true that I look at groups so different from my own with the eye of a social psychologist or anthropologist studying a foreign culture. That’s true. But this is also true:

I follow a few of these Mormon bloggers regularly because I do, in my heart of hearts, believe that their lives represent the fantasy life that we Baby Boomers grew up on and failed to attain.  That is, unless we are Mormon.

There’s something rather idyllic about the wholesome nature of these families, even though there’s sometimes a bit of a Stepford Wives vibe, too.  And even as I write this I can hear the objections of some of my friends as they dig their heels into the ground. But you know what? I think we are all complex beings and not necessarily consistent in all our beliefs and thoughts. Which is why they call it “being human.”

Here is a post I wrote a few years ago about my online addiction. You might enjoy the image, too.


16 comments on “Consistent in one thing: my inconsistency
  1. Lux Ganzon says:

    I’ve never really taken a good look about Mormons and their lifestyles. Now that you’ve mentioned it, they live exemplary lives (at least from my point of view). You’re right. They live the fantasy lives most of us fail to attain.

    Now into those Mormon moms blogs, I’m taking a look right now. 🙂

  2. Lisa says:

    I read everything Scientology related I can get my hands on; I’m fascinated and completely horrified by it… mostly horrified, but I can sort of understand their push to be more evolved and the appealing idea that they are from another planet, lol!

  3. I think that there is something to be said for not limiting ourselves to the box that we think we fit in. There are things to be learned from all groups and all schools of thought. It is absolutely fine to be a feminist but also value family time and develop some rituals as a family. I have some close friends who are Mormon, and I always loved how they had an area for family worship time. We’ve used that idea to create some of our own routines, such as family game time.

  4. Great article and I think it’s super cool that you read Mormon blogs. I am not a Mormon, but have friends who are and I enjoy hearing their stories and reading about them. What a boring world it would be if we were all the same. Take care and good writing!


  5. Then call me inconsistent as well. I am a woman of strong faith in God–not Mormon–but I’m supportive of gays and abortion. I think the reason we’re interested in women of faith is that they appear to have well-behaved children and faithful marriages. That simply isn’t true, however. Mormons and people of all faiths have the same problems the rest of us have. They just keep it within their circle. Lisa mentioned Scientology…. OMG! They seem like the cult of cults! Brenda

  6. crystal says:

    I really liked this post and I full agree with you on the complexities of being a human.

    I also write a blog called and I think that you would find that I am very similar to you.

    I love the ideals of a wholesome family life with very liberal views.
    I have written a post about LABELS that we put on ourselves and others that I think you might enjoy.

    If you check it out you will notice that I have different sections set up for my blog that I call boxes. you will find this post on Labels in the heavy box.

    Thank you for sharing

  7. crystal says:

    I have also written to post about religion that you might find interesting it is also in the heavy box of my blog

    No one belongs to one category!

  8. PatU says:

    I so “get it.” When it was on, I was addicted to that show Sisterwives. Living so close to Palmyra, NY, I also thought I’d get to the Hill Cumorah Pageant, but sadly never made it.

    Thee is something to be said about having fewer choices. It certainly could make life simpler. Well…maybe.

  9. Crystal says:

    I love that show sister wives and 19 kids and counting
    Funny thing is that I don’t believe in organized religion or God for that matter

  10. Haralee says:

    That is an interesting confession! I worked for a company that recruited young men right out BYU because the company knew they would work to support their growing family and not have many vices that would impede their work performance. The dark side is divorce is difficult and wife abuse is ignored. My coworker’s daughter was receiving broken bones from her husband and my coworker was not supported by their church to intervene but it was recommended they pray more.

  11. Jennifer says:

    I admit to not reading mormon blogs. I can see where their wholesome lifestyle and values would appeal.
    I had to do a double take because I thought the word was “moron” 🙂 Time for new glasses. Pkg came today! Thanks!!

  12. Estelle says:

    It’s so interesting to me that you have a fascination with those blogs. Personally, they leave me cold, but to each their own. I always did like Donny Osmond, though:)

  13. Bearing in mind that my friends in high school were either a) Mormon or b) evangelical, you can bet I spent a good part of that time enduring attempts to convert me – and I was already religious, just not Mormon nor evangelical. That being said, I like to think I can adapt to a good idea. Maybe not Family Home Evening, but Family Night (when the squid was still living with us). It’s evolved into Couple’s Night/Midweek Break. I, too, am about as liberal as they come. However, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds – no, I don’t remember who wrote/said that.

  14. I can see the interest because I’m interested in people much the same way. I would have never guessed the other part, especially as a feminist and your beliefs regarding treating all people equal. I also agree that just because you don’t share someone’s beliefs doesn’t mean you can ‘t admire other aspects of their lives.

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