Does unconditional love exist?

July 15, 2016

no-unconditional-loveA wise friend commented the other day: “Sometimes, unconditional love comes with conditions.”

He threw it out there, almost without thinking, but I DID think about it.

It was a provocative statement, because it implies that there may be no unconditional love.

Of course, we believe unconditional love is the gold standard. Could it be that there is no such thing as unconditional love?

Maybe it’s rare, if it exists at all.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on the subject.

I’d also love to hear the most profound thing anyone’s said to you. Because if we listen, profundity is out there, and in the most unassuming of places.

Thank you.


44 comments on “Does unconditional love exist?
  1. Robin herman says:

    There certainly is unconditional instinct such as when a parent stands between a child and danger. Perhaps only dogs exhibit unconditional “love” and even then it’s really just a survival strategy. Human love requires reciprocity. To love others unconditionally is actually narcissism by another name – a projection.
    As for profound words, once in my 30s when I was facing a life-changing difficulty a friend advised: “The only way out is through”. The phrase has given me determination and courage in other situations since.

  2. Leanne says:

    I don’t think we can achieve unconditional love in our human frailty. No matter how altruistic we may think our love is, there would always be a line in the sand somewhere if we looked for it. I can’t think of any profundity I’ve been exposed to lately – just the mundane everyday stuff!

  3. pia says:

    I loved somebody deeply when I was young. Then I realized we weren’t meant to be romantic lovers and made that plain.

    But 40something years later or 30something since the official end or….we are each others biggest boosters.

    We see past each others faults to our good parts, Because in our hearts the other is 19 forever with warts and wrinkles and reality, we can encourage the other, give advice nobody else could, tear apart and help put together each others work.

    Unconditional in the traditional sense? Hell no. Unconditional in a more important sense that I still can’t really explain as I don’t really understand it. Hell yes!

  4. Michele says:

    Loving someone itself is a condition so this is a chicken or egg conundrum! I would say there are always conditions.

  5. Felicity says:

    It has taken years to understand it, but this: “Listen to what other say about themselves.” There lies truth.

  6. Barbara says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever believed in truly unconditional love. It’s asking too much. I believe what you give from your heart comes back to you.

  7. Unconditional love means trust and acceptance of everything they do, coupled with understanding and compassion.This is very hard to do once you’ve been burned, as most of us have. I think though that it DOES exist—especially between mothers and their children.

  8. tara pittman says:

    Yes it does exist. My husband loves me even after I yell at him. I love my kids no matter what.

  9. Maybe unconditional love is something we have to choose to do. To stand strong in the face of the little and bigger things that we might not like in another because we have made a choice to love?
    Love with conditions is pretty flawed, when you think about it.

  10. What an interesting ice breaker. I hope I can remember this and pose it at the next awkward family reunion. I wonder if unconditional love exists only in our hearts, not in our actions. We form beliefs that live inside ourselves, but sometimes those beliefs, when tested, don’t make the leap from abstract thought to concrete behavior. So perhaps only in theory, in memory, or in our dreams does unconditional love flourish.

    • LOL! Love the idea of bringing this up at a family reunion! I’m actually broaching this subject right now with my very judgmental older sister…we haven’t spoken in a couple years because she sees her role as criticizing me every chance she gets!

  11. Unconditional love do really exist to some people. We cannot hide the fact when you are in that situation. 🙂

  12. Ali says:

    Love almost always comes with conditions and I think it should. One shouldn’t allow others to walk all over them or abuse them. You might love them, but you need to respect yourself more.

  13. Well I believe that we can strive for unconditional love. However, the only unconditional love I think exists is from God.

  14. It really exist! I started beliving in unconditional love becoming a mom. I love my husband so much, but you know what is unconditional love when you have a son.

  15. Nicole Escat says:

    I do believe that it really exist. Looking up at our Creator from above, that’s one of the proofs I had.

  16. Azlin Bloor says:

    I think the only unconditional love that exists is the love that a child feels for its parent. Of course this holds true for the love many parents feel for their children too but we’ve all heard the horror stories, which is why I say many and not all parents. Sadly.

  17. I was raised with very conditional love and thought that was the best I could expect from human beings. Then I met my new husband eleven years ago, at age 49. Mike gives me unconditional love everyday. That is why I now appreciate this quote from Herman Hesse:
    “If I know what love is, it is because of you”
    . I think unconditional love is extremely rare, but possible from the best of human beings.I have felt it from only a few people in my life.I learned about it from a marvelous therapist in my thirties and then started seeking it out.

  18. Thanks Carol for this thought-provoking and revealing topic for discussion!

  19. Karlyn Cruz says:

    I do believe in unconditional love. Seeing your children grow and making mistakes but despite that, you love them perfectly!

  20. Donna says:

    Wonderful thoughts….I also believe unconditional love exists, but I also think only God has that ability. We are imperfect souls searching for perfection that will come after a few more million milleneau…but we have the example. I strive for uncondional love but as of yet it hasn’t been tested very much in the relationships I find most dear.I am loved by my husband and family and that is fine for me. I don’t have much family…as for me I forgive pretty easily, and avoid people I percieve don’t like me very much. I subconsciously think I am doing them a favor. That last bit is leftover from a childhood where I never felt anyone was happy with me ever. As for a profundity? One was “slow and steady wins the race” I liked that so much I gave turtles to each one of my children when they graduated from high school to remind them of that. My life has been a very slow process, but a good process. I am grateful for the ups and downs of it all. Love to you my friend

  21. Amy Jones says:

    This is a really interesting subject I’ve never thought about. A great piece of information! Thanks a lot for sharing it

  22. Amer Phils says:

    According to Grant Gurmundson… “Love is unconditional, relationships are not.” Maybe if you’re parent,, yeah!

  23. Courtney Gillard says:

    I do believe! Love can be in any form but the greatest love is the unconditional love. You just love someone with whatever state your relationship goes.

  24. Liz Mays says:

    I certainly feel it toward my children, but I can’t say I’ve ever had that with romance. I’m not sure it’s possible?!

  25. oana79 says:

    I do think unconditional love exists: the love of a mother is almost always unconditional and pure.

  26. anna nuttall says:

    I feel it toward my husband and he feel it to me. It when you connect in body, mind and soul. xx

  27. Elizabeth O. says:

    I would like to think that it’s how you view it. Unconditional love is something that people can definitely give if they love purely, without any intentions, but as human beings we are also prone to expecting something in return.

  28. my mother is where i have learned what the true meaning of unconditional love is to give so selflessly without any expectation of a return.

  29. Sometimes it is hard to wonder whether unconditional love exists in a world that is so motivated by hate. I do think it does exist though.

  30. The way I think of it is that there certainly is unconditional love. But it becomes an abusive or otherwise harmful form of love if it is never reciprocated. A parent is a perfect example: take an instance where a parent’s unconditional love is not expressed solely through positive means (as we often think of it), but instead in the form of a painful lesson. Taught by the parent to the child for the child’s wellbeing, even though it may pain the parent to upset their child in any way, they are every bit as essential to helping the child become a good adult.

  31. I think Jesus and our Heavenly Father are the only ones who can love us unconditionally. Humans always put conditions on things, even if they don’t intend to.

  32. cris says:

    I didn’t think it existed until my first born…now I’m without doubt it does.

  33. Mardene Carr says:

    I think it is very hard for any human being to truly have unconditional love. That is my humble opinion

  34. Unconditional love does exist. We get it from our pets. I have two little dogs that love me no matter what. I have sat on them (accidentally, of course), picked stuff out of their eyes and touched them where they are hurting, but they still come back to me, everyday. That is unconditional love.

  35. I have been pondering this for about a year. I don’t think it is possible. At least not for me – I can care for someone, and not wish them ill, but unconditional love? If you treat me like shit it is really hard to say that I will love you regardless.

  36. Eileen Kelly says:

    I believe it does exist maybe not for everyone but for me , yes! I love my family unconditionally. I have a close family member who is making wrong choices and I still choose to love her. I just continue to pray and hope she makes better choices. I will not stop loving her. I have taken on caring for her loved ones until she is better

  37. Marcy says:

    Wow, I have never really spent much time thinking about this before. I do think unconditional love exists between a parent and a child. Beyond that..I’m not sure?

  38. That’s interesting. I honestly do think that unconditional love exists. For me I know that to be true when I look at my babies.

  39. I thin that the only unconditional love is between a mother and her child. All the other love has some interests in the middle, even if we see/feel them or not.

  40. Lisa Rios says:

    I always feel that Unconditional love exists anytime as I have been experiencing it over the years with my husband who has been always calm, composed & caring despite some misunderstanding that we come across.

  41. Cathy Mini says:

    In terms of romance, unconditional love is achievable but after putting a lot of effort into it. However, in terms of towards a child, I think unconditional love comes naturally.

  42. reena santos says:

    I believe that unconditional love can only parents can give to there children. but loving someone this not really exist.

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