When people are not nice

December 27, 2017

not-niceThere seems to be a lot of “not nice” going around these days, ever since that horrible man took over the Oval. And much of the not nice is politically motivated, even if it’s clothed in something else in an attempt to make it sound more reasonable than it is. Or more high falutin’.

Sometimes it’s not even clothed. It’s just naked ugliness presented in all its awfulness. Like what happened in Virginia. All of it.

Most of us have noticed that the election seems to have empowered a great many people to let their worst selves out of the cage that we call “civilized behavior.”

It’s not pretty.  And some of it is personal.

Even I have been a target of these not-so-nice people.

It’s not that I’m any angel–I have my worst self, too, since I’m only  human–and sometimes it does escape. But not that often. And only rarely on social media.

I was targeted by not-so-nice women some might call “bullies”  for posting a photo that had an anti-Trump message. Actually, it was the photo of copies of Ivanka’s new book–stuffed in a toilet in Costco. I’m pretty sure I made no comment, just posted it and let it sit. I thought it was an interesting visual commentary, but since I hadn’t read it, I didn’t feel like I could comment.  Reviewers say the born-with-a-silver-spoon-and-guaranteed-job author seems tone deaf to concerns of regular women.  But I was told by these (conservative) women that my post was misogynistic and that women would not feel safe with me.

Say what??

I mean.

I’ve been a feminist since I could breathe, marched in ERA parades, donated money to women’s causes, have been a personal supporter of the advancement of women, mentored young women, did volunteer work for a domestic violence center and a women with HIV program… I could go on and on, but I won’t.  I’m quite certain I have done far more for women and their safety than these women even considered doing. So I was flabbergasted.

I am, in fact, an unlikely misogynist. Which is to say I’m not one at all.

The charge was “trumped up,” you might say. I’m pretty sure my “accusers” were Trump supporters.  Because if they aren’t, they could only be totally clueless. This was a politically motivated act. Blatantly.

But that kind of illogical and silly accusation based on politics but cloaked in something else has become more frequent these days, as people who are unprepared intellectually for argument spout things that make no sense. Because bullies don’t know how to use intellect. Just muscle.

Like supporting the fiction that anyone could get manufacturing jobs back and “make America great again.”  Because, of course, manufacturers are beholden to shareholders and can get that work done so very much cheaper overseas. No one would buy a $5,000 Iphone, would they? Which is not all that unlikely a price for something manufactured here with our much higher salaries and our commitment to paying living wages.

THAT kind of illogic.

No, jobs aren’t coming back in droves and I’m not a misogynist.

Not too long ago, someone criticized me recently for charging money for a workshop. Because people without means would feel bad that they couldn’t attend.

Say what??

There are many things that people without means can’t buy: some cars, houses, clothing, shoes, jewelry, computer equipment, smart phones… oh, wait: that accuser MUST have a device because that’s what was used to comment. Smart phones and service aren’t cheap. Just sayin’.

Those situations startled me because they were so illogical and just not nice. That awful man has set the bar very low for our population.He’s normalized horrific behavior and people are lowering themselves to the occasion in big ways and small. Bullying.

What have you noticed on social media? Have you been accused of something ridiculous, yourself?



20 comments on “When people are not nice
  1. Stacie says:

    I’ve been accused of everything you can think of. If you type more than two words together on social media, you’ll immediately be branded as something that is so not who you really are.

  2. I have also been a little let down by our politicians. I am hoping we get more of a voice in 2018 and don’t let the good deeds by the previous administration all be cancelled.

  3. robin rue says:

    Sadly a lot of people are not very nice. I happen to live in an area where people are known for that.

  4. Heather says:

    I stay out of politics on social media, for every one thing you say against something, there are 10 people who come out of nowhere with their own “facts”. I just can’t talk about it anymore. I want to support human decency jobs, health care all of it, but why do I have to pick a side?

  5. I feel badly for you and the rest of the female democrats. I was speaking of the fear of loss of women’s rights and was told I must first be a woman. Therefore, I too, just a little tiny blog owner get hit by all the ugliness that is swarming around. I just have to hope there is not too much unrepairable damage done between now and the 2020 election.

  6. Pam says:

    People get mean on social media. They say things online without thinking that there is a person behind the screen.

  7. I have avoided saying anything on social media just for this reason – people using illogical, ridiculous claims to try and label me something that helps their cause. The whole “fake news” claims and outrageous behavior is disgusting to me and really disheartening. I also avoid social media because it makes me sad to see people I have known for years supporting that man and buying all the garbage that comes out of his mouth. I am sorry you were subjected to such outrageous, baseless comments. I think I would have enjoyed your post 🙂

  8. brianne says:

    I’ve noticed a ton of bullying and a lot of passive aggressive comments as well! I wish people were just nicer to one another and have something to say then ask!

  9. Theresa says:

    I’ve seen ugliness come from both sides, so I stay out of politics and don’t post, comment, or like anything political related. Once one does so, they open themselves up to keyboard bullies and I just don’t have time for that kind of drama in my life.

  10. JOyce brewer says:

    There are a lot of “thumb thugs” out there. By that I mean people who’d type things they would never say to your face. I do my best to keep it moving.

  11. Annemarie LeBlanc says:

    I get my share of “haters” on social media too. Some really have nasty comments. I mean, hey, its my wall, its my page. I deserve some respect! My solution? Block them. Unfriend them. I would rather interact with like minded individuals than to deal with all the negativity.

  12. It is sad that there are some people who were born to make others’ lives miserable. I always think that these people did not have a happy childhood and are trying to bring others down with them. If I am in a good mood, I just ignore them and rationalize that they might just be having a bad day. If I am not in a good mood, it is a totally different story.

  13. Kendra says:

    I’ve definitely noticed the change in behavior on social media. People have become more aggressive towards others.

  14. Ave says:

    There are a lot of not so nice people around social media. I try to keep my social media accounts free of politics as much as possible.

  15. Sapana V says:

    Politics is not my type as I people are more self centric and they don’t even thing about a second for others. I hate that naked ugly truth of politics, everyone knows it and still gets involved in this stupid politics.

  16. Diane says:

    I’m so sad for the ugliness that is out there and even more for any that has spilled onto you! A woman who spends her life serving and supporting other women.
    I think I must live in the last bastion of helpful friendliness in the world. Electronic world aside, I love my town! When someone is in need, everyone bands together.
    Case in point: A young man had a serious bicycle accident that rendered him Quadriplegic.
    The town rallied in many, many ways, One was in simply collecting bottles. We raised over $10,000.00 with our empties!
    I think I’ll just stay here.
    Out of the world . . .

  17. Janice Wald says:

    Hi Carol,
    This situation is nightmarish.
    1. He isn’t leaving the Oval. The Democratic Party doesn’t support impeachment! What a sad day! They say it would “detract from their agenda.”
    2. For people (women) to say that because you photographed ONE woman’s book in a toilet means you don’t like all women or even other women is beyond ridiculous. Why are people (women) saying how you feel about one woman’s book represents how you feel about the entire gender? For all they knew, you read it and didn’t like the book.
    3. You know yourself. You know your feelings. They don’t know you and are magnifying this out of all reasonable proportions.
    4. We are now within the year of the 2018 midterm elections. Every day brings us closer to November. HOPEFULLY, Alabama and Virginia are signs that 2018 will go better for America than 2016 did. I am also still waiting on pins and needles for Mueller’s findings.
    You have my support.

  18. Leah says:

    The main reason I started blogging was to counter all of the negative, bitter, and hostile posts I was seeing on social media. I wanted to produce positive content that would help instead of belittle and hurt. Sometimes that means I bite my tongue and don’t reply. But, mainly, I just post things that feel good and uplift. The whole definitely can use more of that!The idea came to me after I posted a photo on Facebook of a sign that said ” We don’t have to agree on anything to be kind to one another.” I thought it was interesting that so many of my FB friends who had been arguing, accusing, and hating online LOVED the picture.

  19. Olatunij says:

    The internet is one of the few places where you get to meet the worst of the bullies out there.

    This is it: People hide behind the white screen and they feel free to type just any thing.

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