How good the hand of an old friend feels. Two friends? Even better.

November 17, 2021

If there’s such thing as an overload of endorphins, that’s what I had after a summer visit from friends of almost 50 years.

I had friends before them and many friends after, but oh, how good the hand of an old friend feels and how full my heart was to spend time with them.

Back in time

We were in our early 20s and my husband had just started law school, where he connected with W. W was several years older, had already been in the military–and divorced! –and was the nicest human being I’d ever met. Still is.

The three of us hung out together and he likes to tell the story about his ex-wife pouring a pitcher of beer in his lap at a bar and how I had my dukes up ready to fight her. “You were always so protective of me!” he laughs. And of course, it IS ludicrous because I was a 21-year-old neophyte at life. But even then, I knew a great friend when I found one. And I was loyal! Still am.

Later that first year W began dating C, whom he’d marry the following year. She was also in law school, lovely, and really the nicest woman you could imagine. One of those young earth mothers who gave birth to a baby in law school and never missed a beat.

They raised four amazing kids with the values we’d all want to be instilled in our own children. Life went in different directions for us all,  but for me that time –the start of my adult life– was always the most magical of times, being a young married woman in Tallahassee, building my own life so far away from home.

And then, parting

M and I parted ways eight years after that naive young marriage and he never saw them again. About 15 years later I ran into C in Publix in southwest Florida. It felt good to reconnect. But I was juggling living on both coasts and a demanding job and relationships. They were busy with careers and families. We saw each other sporadically.

“Where did M go?” They asked and I had no good answer as to why he had floated out of their lives.

And then, about 13 years after that fortuitous grocery store reconnection with C , M was back in my life in that way the Universe has of throwing interesting opportunities at you. Take it or leave it, the Universe says, and it’s up to us to decide.

By that time W had been in practice a long time and C was a judge in my Florida city. It was hard even for everyone (especially me) to imagine that M was back in my life and that we were going to remarry. This, after a 26-year break, during which we’d not seen each other a single time. I knew C & W would be out of their minds when they heard. I wanted to surprise them. So all I said was that I’d gotten engaged.

I tried to plan a dinner date for us all on a weekend M was in my city but our schedules never meshed. So I set up lunch with C.

The two of us sat at a nice restaurant, me with my engagement ring hand in my lap and M’s business card in my pocket.

“So tell me about your new fiance,” C asked.

“Well, he’s a few years older than me and a lawyer,” I said.

“Oh, I wonder if I know him…” she mused. After all, she was a lawyer and was now a judge.

“I don’t know…do you?” I replied. I took his business card out of my pocket with my left hand and handed it to her.

She looked at it, then at me.

“No way.” she said.

“Way,” I replied.



C let out a scream so loud all the other diners practically jumped out of their seats.

That was fun!

And 12 years later, there we were, sitting on our patio in California, having bagels and cream cheese, talking about old times. It was great. So great that we pledged to keep our reconnection going. And we have.

After all, there really IS no hand as comforting as that of an old friend.

This song came on the radio just after I completed this post: James Taylor/You’ve Got a Friend. I don’t believe in coincidences. Nope. So. Have a listen!
Gently supportive condolence gifts are now at my shop here:


5 comments on “How good the hand of an old friend feels. Two friends? Even better.
  1. Diane says:

    I love this SO much! Friends are the sweet candy coating on the chocolate of life! And You’ve Got a Friend by James Taylor is my favourite song of all time!

  2. Lynda Beth Unkeless says:

    “I love everything that is old: old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wines.”
    —Oliver Goldsmith
    The Vicar of Wakefield

    Got nothing against The New, either.

    But there is nothing quite like The Old!


  3. Laurie Stone says:

    We also have friends that we met back in college. How precious to have them still in our lives, playing music and laughing, like we used to. The hair may be grayer, but everyone’s the same inside.

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  1. […] about reconnecting with old friends is Carol Cassara’s offering on her blog. Enjoy her post, “How Good the Hand of an Old Friend Feels”. Two Friends? Even […]

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