Out of the shadows…

February 29, 2016
Ta da!

Ta da! In San Francisco, looking youthful. Not a baseball cap.

In person, my husband is what used to be called a hail fellow well met: known to be hearty, friendly and congenial. A guy’s guy. Or, what Dave Barry calls “a guy.”

My husband is a private person, though, who eschews social media.  He has no idea why anyone would be interested in the daily minutiae and doings of his life, “and I am sure as shit not interested in the minutiae of other people’s lives.”

Yes. I quote. So you can see why the concept of a selfie puzzles him.

“Why?” he asks. “Why would anyone post a zillion photos of themselves in a public forum?”

Yes, many people ask that burning question. I don’t post a lot of selfies, either. Sometimes when I see repeated selfies, beautifully posed,  it’s feels like the poser is screaming “me! me! MEEE!”  Not always. But sometimes.  Other times I really like to see a selfie. Like when it’s with pets or kids or friends or doing something way fun. Or if my friend has just had a makeover. Or finished a 10K. When there’s a little bit of a story.

And then, there’s the aging thing. Of course, neither Michael nor I are the same adorable young people we were in our 1972 wedding pictures, but do we really want to be reminded of that in perpetuity?  For all those reasons and more, he asked me not to post his photo. I was good with that–his choice.

But then we were wandering around San Francisco last weekend and ended up in Gooorin Brothers hat shop. Established in 1895, it calls itself a “Bold Hatmaker.”  I’d suggested that Michael might doff his usual baseball cap (or he wears no hat at all) and replace it with something more stylin’ for our May trip to Portugal.  To my surprise, he agreed. As I have learned, best to strike while the iron is hot.

Our sales clerk, Georgie was a big help as we weighed one style against another. Michael ended up with two hats and he looked dashing in both. I sent photos of him in them to our sisters: sister in love and sister of my soul. They approved. Done deal. Yes, this is how we have to do things when loved ones are across the country: we text photos.

Once that was done, he agreed that I could post them. Again, striking while the iron is hot–less than 48 hours after he agreed, voila!

Not a Panama, but Panama style.

Not a Panama, but Panama style. A more mature look.

Male pattern baldness runs on the maternal side of M’s family and while his brother has a way full head of hair, M got the other gene. So he shaves most of what’s left and fortunately for him, it is a contemporary look. And of course, he’s absolutely adorable with or without hair.

But with hat? He’s stylin’ on a different level. He looks great, don’t you agree?  I like the top look best, although he prefers to wear that hat the other way with the brim in front. I like it backwards.  The Panama style is a great summer look, too.

And don’t forget the other advantage of hats:

Cowboy in hat

82 comments on “Out of the shadows…
  1. Silly Mummy says:

    He does look great and suits hats! Will be looking very stylish in Portugal! I have sympathy for his stance though – I hate photos, and I just have a profile pic for my fb & post no other photos at all. & I only ever post the odd political or humorous status to my personal facebook. That said, though, I think there is an argument for not avoiding photos altogether (like I tend to), as other people will want to have and see photos of you. So I think it’s good to buck the trend once in a while and allow photos for a good reason (like showing off new hats!), as your husband has here.

  2. Ruth says:

    Smiling right back at bothof you!

  3. I think he looks smashing and handsome. I don’t post selfies but that’s mainly because I had an internet stalker once and don’t want that repeated by anyone that has some screws loose.

  4. Carla says:

    I love this post and not only because I am unbelievably smitten with the word eschew.
    Social media is not for everyone. And even when it is for us – – they’re often comes a time when we find ourselves through.

  5. Great new hat. My husband is the same, detests all social media, has no idea why anyone is interested in it and doesn’t read or follow any social media accounts:-(

  6. WendysHat says:

    Wonderful! My private husband might be his twin and feels even stronger against social media than yours! About once a year I take a picture of him with me at some exotic travel location, so it doesn’t look like I’m single, and so his sister can see him. Never a full blog post though! Nice hats! Tell your husband they’re perfect for him and his trip.

  7. Debbie D. says:

    Your husband looks fabulous in that Panama-style hat, Carol. Even the baseball cap suits him. 🙂
    Not only does my husband eschew (great word! ) social media, he also refuses to use computers, smartphones, etc. This seems to be more common with men than women. He doesn’t mind when I write about him or share photos, though.

  8. Handsome guy! He’s still adorable (but he might not want to hear about his adorableness) and you are one lucky girl! 🙂

  9. Laurie Oien says:

    I think most men of the “mature” age don’t get social media, my hubby included. However, just recently he did open a Facebook account. He finally said, if you can’t beat’em……

    Your guy looks great in the new hat!

  10. Robin Rue (@massholemommy) says:

    Awww, he looks very handsome and happy, too! You’ve got a good catch there.

  11. I love hats. I like to wear them and I like a man in a hat. My sweetie always wears a baseball cap (which I do not consider a hat) but he often wore one in his younger days. It may be time to get him one! Your fella looks very dashing!

  12. Haralee says:

    Glad to see him and the hats are very cool! I do like a man in a hat.

  13. Anna Palmer says:

    Better than the hats and the baby blues is how I can see HIM in his photos. There is a real person looking back at us. Maybe that speaks to his character, or maybe he isn’t jaded and dulled my millions of pics. My husband loves hats too despite a head of hair so full that the largest size doesn’t fit his oversized and overinsulated noggin. There is something about hat shopping with a long time love that feels like the fast forward button on a romantic comedy montage. Cue the music. I’m glad M let us share his mug.

  14. Jennifer says:

    He looks great in hats! I love Goorin Bros. Put a hat on my head and u always take a selfie. BTW. Did you know selfies are great tools! Trying to choose new eyeglass frames? I can’t see what they look like on me without my RX lenses, so I snap a selfie, put my old glasses on and check how they looked.

  15. I like this take on the minutiae of other people’s lives. I often wonder the same thing. Yet, here I am, blogging and sharing on social media. People are nosy, I guess! From the beauty parlor gossip to social media!

  16. Hello, Michael! Nice to SEE you and your great hat. You have one wonderful wife (but you already knew that!) I hope you both enjoy Portugal. Our home has many beautiful pieces of pottery from there. Love it! Enjoy.

  17. Donna says:

    Bucket list-meeting Carols husband

  18. tara pittman says:

    I so agree with the aging thing and selfies. My age prevents me from doing more selfies.

  19. Dapper is as dapper does. Looking good!

  20. I love hats! I can remember my dad wearing those felt hats….I don’t remember if they had a name, but I loved them!

  21. Lori says:

    “Out of the shadows.My husband is a private person, though, who eschews social media.”
    Well, I’m glad he is out of the shadows and rocking the hats! Very dapper!

  22. Stylin’ indeed! He looks terrific–and it’s great finally be able to put a face to the name, if only virtually.

  23. Very handsome, with or without a hat! but the hat WILL be very useful in Portugal.

  24. Laurel Regan says:

    He does look great in that hat, Carol – very nice! Glad he agreed to allow his photo to be posted – I think it’s always nice to see the face behind the name. 🙂

  25. Gary Mathews says:

    I see Facebook in his future now! Looking stylish for sure!

  26. Good reason you got there. I got into blogging because relatives keep asking about my son so I would just write an article or update about him on my blog and it has now become a full time job. Pretty sure your husband will get into it once he realizes that he can keep in touch with family and friends with photos and the like. 🙂

  27. Jennileigh says:

    Men get better as they age! Handsome guy! Give him something with bacon for playing nice. My hubby is always happy as long as the reward is bacon.

  28. Lee Gaitan says:

    M is positively dreamy! I’m so glad you guys came back around to find each other again. I love your story and I love his hat look. Hey, you pulled off a hat trick! 🙂

  29. I have to admit I agree with your husband. I’m not that interested in the day to day life of people I don’t know (sometimes I am not interested in the day to day life of people I do know) and the six pictures of someone wearing the same outfit is just …. enough said. But you tell you husband that there is someone out there who is happy to know that he will be looking might dapper on his holiday. Maybe he will let you post another picture then so we can see the hat ‘in action’. Have a wonderful trip.

  30. marianne says:

    Like the hat. Love San Francisco. Dig your husband’s sense of humor.

  31. Nice hats! My husband is anti-Social Media too. Good job on getting him on you blog.

  32. andrea says:

    VERY nice-looking gentleman – and he can wear a hat like nobody’s business (i’m a fellow hat person myself 😀 )

  33. Jennifer says:

    He needed to work up his courage for what? To be admired by a whole bunch of women? Great to see him and so glad to see behind the curtains.

  34. Estelle says:

    He looks dashing in the pics, and the hat look works for him. He looks like he has a great personality!

  35. I love the hats and he looks wonderful in them. I wish more men would wear hats—I’ve always though it adds a sexy allure to a man.

  36. He does look great love the panama hat and he seems like a funny guy!

  37. Mary says:

    He looks quite dashing! You two make a very handsome couple! Gotta love a man in a hat.

  38. Laci says:

    Love this post and this hats !!

  39. Roz Warren says:

    Your man looks great in a hat. And you’re doing a great thing by pushing him out of his comfort zone a little. It’s one of those things that good couples do for each other.

  40. Carolann says:

    Love him in that hat! How very handsome he looks. You’ll both make a dashing couple in Portugal! Looking forward to the pics! I don’t post many selfies either. My hubby doesn’t like them unless it one of use celebrating or eating out at a great restaurant. My hubby would love that hat. He is a total hat person!

  41. Debbie Denny says:

    I take a lot of pictures, but very few selfies. Love the post.

  42. I feel so honored to have gotten to meet him in person!! He is rocking those hats!

  43. I am the Queen of selfies and my granddaughter is about to dethrone me – and she is only 20 months old! Your husband looks good in those hats and I too prefer the first one.

  44. Elizabeth O. says:

    What a bright smile! Looks like he’s having a fun day outside. I don’t enjoy looking at selfies either, unless it’s an adorable or funny picture. But hey, live and let live, right? If that’s what people enjoy, I guess. Lol.

  45. Lexie Lane says:

    Love your post! I is really interesting and worth stopping by. Glad you shared this.

  46. Helene Cohen Bludman says:

    My husband also eschews social media. It is nice to see a photo of your husband — now I can associate the face with the person I’ve read so much about.

  47. Liv says:

    Now I want to see the 1972 wedding pictures. ????

  48. Eugenia says:

    He looks so handsome and stylish with the hat! A good- fitting hat is not easy to find! I also love this quote about advantages of hats! Well said!

  49. He is pretty handsome! For some reason he remembers my dad! It would be so funny to hear him reading all this comments hahaha

  50. They are both great pictures of him. I’m not a big selfie person either. I swear some people I know it seems like that’s all they do. I don’t really care to post every little thing I do in my life on FB.

  51. c says:

    He looks had fun all day! He looks better in Panama hat and he still handsome. I remember my dad he is also loved wearing different hats.

  52. Carmela Mempin says:

    He looks had fun all day! He looks better in Panama hat and he still handsome. I remember my dad he is also loved wearing different hats.

  53. Amy Jones says:

    Great pictures! He’s a very handsome man the hat gives him point for style

  54. RaNesha says:

    Great photo’s social media is not for everyone somedays I completely understand why.

  55. He looks very dashing in the first picture! I post a like of pictures but mostly of my kids. I once got followed by a dude and when I checked out his profile there was only pictures of him. NOTHING else. Just selfies. With weird captions. LOL it was odd. A bit creepy actually lol

  56. Rosey says:

    He does look great in the hat. I didn’t used to like selifes, and then I got a granddaughter, lol. No one volunteers to take our picture together, so I scoop her up and take my own.

  57. Lisa Rios says:

    I think your husband looks pretty smart in that Panama Style, I agree a mature look it is for sure. I love that beautiful hat that looks pretty good as well. My husband is getting smarted by age, which at time makes me jealous, lol!

  58. Mardene Carr says:

    I am not really a hat person but my parents never went anywhere without their hats. These are really great looking hats that suit him

  59. Faye says:

    Love this post (and the hat!) My husband is also very private, so I can relate.

  60. Crystal Cook says:

    He’s adorable . . . I love it when men wear hats, not just the ball caps. There is something a little *more* to men who have the confidence to adorn their heads, hairless or not, with a handsome hat 🙂

  61. Emma White says:

    aw bless him and he really does suit a hat

  62. Liz Mays says:

    He can definitely pull that look off with style! Not everyone can wear a hat like that, but he looks fantastic.

  63. Chelsea L. says:

    He looks good on his cap , my husband is not a selfie person too I have to tricks him so I can get a shot 🙂

  64. CourtneyLynne says:

    Awwwwww just look at your hubby!!!! Now this was such a sweet post :):)

  65. He looks stylish in both! I’m smiling at his comment about social media – it echoes what Jose says too. All mentions of him on my posts have to have prior approval as well! 🙂

  66. Your husband looks fabulous and you are one lucky girl!

  67. mya.k says:

    I like that hat on him, it fits him really good.

  68. Hats suit him for sure! Handsome. Some people just don’t have “hat faces” but your fella looks fab. Great choices!

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