How to make pain work FOR you

May 29, 2017

painWe don’t like pain. Whether it’s physical or psychological, it’s unwelcome.

Our loved ones die and we wonder how we can carry on without them. We hurt.

We get sick and wonder if our time on earth is over. It scares us.

This is just what happens–shit happens. It’s the human condition.

Since it feels so awful we want to run from it. Hide from it. Deny it, even.  We put on our brave face and go on, while inside we’re falling apart. Does this sound familiar?

So it’s hard for many to understand how feeling it can make you feel better. Oh, not at first.  First it’s just pain and that doesn’t feel good at all.

We’re not at all patient with ourselves.

Holding pain, feeling into it, is hard. Maybe one of the hardest things you will do.  But in the feeling of it, we get to let some of it go. It sounds counter-intuitive, right? But that’s how it works.

Which means you have to let yourself go. Let yourself feel the pain of grief. The pain of all the accommodations you’ve had to make because you got sick.

And in feeling it, it dissipates. Not right away. But in time.

And that’s why our guided journals for healing and grief and downloadable audios for releasing grief are so effective.

Take a look at the Guided Journal through Grief HERE and the Guided Journal for Healing HERE–they can help you.  Releasing Grief audio is HERE and the audio for cancer and other treatment is HERE.

And if you’d like to learn how to manage chronic pain through guided imagery, check this downloadable audio out, HERE. Those who have used it tell me it works.




Feeling into them.

54 comments on “How to make pain work FOR you
  1. Robin rue says:

    I am sure letting it go feels really good. It must be so hard when it first starts, though.

  2. Akamatra says:

    Letting go is helpful in more ways than one. I hadn’t thought of pain like that but maybe you are right.

  3. Bill Sweeney says:

    Thanks for sharing these tips. We all experience pain and loss in our lives. We might as well use it instead of succumbing to it.

  4. Jess C says:

    I definitely agree with this. To really heal you need to completely let go first and really feel it all…That is the only way

  5. Arra Odeza says:

    Pain sometimes is unbearable to the point that you think of things that might gonna hurt yourself or other people. Someone should be at our side whenever we deal with pain if we can’t handle it by yourself.

  6. Barbara says:

    I think, in addition to this excellent advice, we need to be careful not to judge how someone else handles their grief. When we lost a dear friend years ago it was very difficult for my husband and me. But, his wife seemed to be breezing through and looking for her next husband. It was kind of shocking. Then she told me, “I simply can’t bear the thought of living alone.” She had never shown that side before and it really surprised me. But, after giving it some serious thought I realized, nothing is more personal than grief and how YOU manage it is your business.
    I hope your business is thriving, Carol.

  7. Tracy says:

    This is such a tough thing to do. I can imagine the guided journals are a great help!!

  8. Letting go is the hardest thing to do but it’s also something that one must do in order to be free of the pain.

  9. Sarah Bailey says:

    Pain is awful both physical and mental, I think I’m going to have to check out the chronic pain one as I do suffer and it impacts on me so badly.

  10. Liz Mays says:

    Letting that pain happen is definitely going to be difficult. It should definitely help to have a way to guide yourself through this natural process of healing.

  11. Cinny says:

    Chronic pain is hard to deal with. It’s important to know that it may always be there but hopefully at a level that is tolerable.

  12. I find it hard to let go of pain sometimes but when I do the relief is palpable. Letting go of pain can help you overcome pain, even when it comes to grief x

  13. Chronic pain sucks so much! It’s hard to let go of pain. Having a way to deal with the pain is extremely helpful.

  14. Neha says:

    Yes, when something that hurts you, gets on your nerve, you have to start letting it go and just be the peaceful, not letting it ruin your vibes.

  15. Claire says:

    Yeah, holding on to the pain is definitely self harming. I think letting it go makes it much easier, in the long run. While it might be difficult right now, to the better you, you should let things go. And more better things will come! Think positive:))

  16. Marcie W. says:

    Coping with and letting go of grief are definitely things that I struggle with. I love the idea of a guided journal to assist with that emotional process.

  17. Everyone struggles with pain at some point and I think you’re right – you have to understand it and own it before you can let go and heal. I bet your guided journals will be an amazing tool to help.

  18. Ora Lee Gurr says:

    Guides are beneficial when we stray or are forced into unknown waters. My first memory of death was at age 5 when someone poisoned our kitty. I lifted him from beneath the bush and realized he did not move. Some workers in the field came over to talk to me about the situation and assured me the cat was in a better, happier place. The guides you mentioned sound like they will comfort people of all ages during unfamiliar territory.

  19. I completely agree sometimes letting go is the best thing to do. It’s hard to deal with pain.

  20. I agree Carol letting go although at first seems so difficult actually lessens the load. You can actually feel the pain lifting and whilst you never forget you can move forward with your life.

  21. Jennifer Van Huss says:

    Pain is all consuming. I think letting go is the hardest part. Sometimes we can fool ourselves into thinking we have let go, but in actual fact, we haven’t. Truly letting go is the best feeling ever!

  22. Joely Smith says:

    I am so thankful for the work you do and the information you offer to others. No two people deal with or handle pain and grief the same way so the more ways and people like you we have to help – the better!

  23. Letting go is helpful!! I hadn’t thought of pain like that but again, I have no experience in dealing with it! Loved your post!

  24. I have always heard that time heals all wounds. But, you have to acknowledge that there is a wound there first before it can heal. I think that bottling problems up is just a way to ask for trouble later. Pretty soon it becomes too much for your body to handle and you have to let it out, one way or another. That’s why it is better to deal with the issue head on when it happens than to hold it back.

  25. The guided journal sound like a very helpful way to grieve. It’s so hard to know how to handle a painful situation and letting go is a great start.

  26. ricci says:

    I know so many people with chronic pain! You really have to advocate for yourself and these methods of self care seem great too!! Great post!!

  27. I’m sure these journals will help a lot. Letting go is always the key, but I don’t why this is so hard to do.

  28. sonali jain says:

    I totally agree with you, letting go is a great thing to move on. holding on things or person sometime is not as very good idea at all.

  29. Pam says:

    I have never thought of making pain work for me. Usually I just try to avoid it at all costs.

  30. Great information. I have severe back pain and it is hard to deal with. I will take your advice and give it a try.

  31. I have a hard time dealing with many situations in my life. I need to learn to let it go instead of dwelling on it.

  32. Elizabeth O. says:

    This is so true. We have to learn how to deal with pain especially since it’s part of life, we encounter it more than once in our lifetime. These tools, your products, are perfect and I’m sure they will help a lot of people cope with pain.

  33. Jeanine says:

    Letting go is something I learned to do long ago. It helps so much. Pain is something so many of us deal with, but often people have struggles letting go.

  34. Amanda Love says:

    Whoever said that it’s easier to embrace the pain was right. It definitely​is. We need to feel it and dwell a little in it to know what it is that we need to do next.

  35. chubskulit says:

    Thank you so much for these. We just lost a beloved one few months ago and still fresh and painful.

  36. Rosey says:

    I am glad to hear the guided journal can be effective. It’s nice that you are sharing this with others.

  37. Our Family World says:

    Physical pain is easier to deal with than emotional pain. I still have a lot of pent up emotions that I try to suppress but it is not helping at all. I guess it is better to address it now, that to hold it down much longer. I have to learn to let go of the pain.

  38. Ali Rost says:

    For the longest time I held onto hurt and pain. While it didn’t effect my outwardly, it was there underneath. A podcast I listened to by Tony Robbins changed that for me. Happiness is a decision, and I now think of that instead of past hurts

  39. Annemarie LeBlanc says:

    Pain makes us stronger. Past experiences may hurt us deep down to our core, but it is in these experiences that teach us valuable life lessons. Just like in sports, No pain, No gain.

  40. Ronnie says:

    There is so much power in your words and in that quote. We become from pain – it has helped me grow and get strong. I love the positivism in something that can easily be seen only negatively.

  41. Chronic pain is such a difficult thing to live with. I certainly think the thought process communicated here is necessary to living with chronic pain. Thank you for sharing.

  42. Leigh Anne Borders says:

    Oh how true this is. Pain can be so hard to deal with but when we do deal with it, it changes us for the better.

  43. I agree t is better to let go rather than hold it in. The letting go can help make you feel so much better.

  44. Kim says:

    Wow this is so true! I certainly believe that pain and overcoming it is a big part of our journey here on Earth. Love the quote in the beginning!!

  45. The best thing we can do is try to let go as soon as we can. It is never easy to deal with pain but this too shall pass

  46. This is a great way to think about the process of pain and letting go. Everyone must find their own path to acceptance though.

  47. Jennifer G says:

    Pain can be so limiting! It’s very true that in order to really heal, you need to be able to let go.

  48. This is good…everyone grieves differently! Acceptance is a big deal.

  49. Julie Syl says:

    Letting go is the hardest, and dealing with pain. But soon it will be easier to find the right way.

  50. misty nelson dawn says:

    Yes, you are right! Letting go is good than to hold for nothing, letting go was a hard pain but someday you think that you did the right thing.

  51. A journey is never really smooth. So it’s important to embrace the rockiness and push through to get to the bright side that’s coming up.

  52. Missy says:

    These downloads look very helpful for people going through hard times. I’m going to pass them on to a few of my friends.

  53. I’ve always believed that what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, and that applies to pain as well.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Follow Carol


Here you’ll find my blog, some of my essays, published writing, and my solo performances. There’s also a link to my Etsy shop for healing and grief tools offered through A Healing Spirit.


I love comments, so if something resonates with you in any way, don’t hesitate to leave a comment on my blog. Thank you for stopping by–oh, and why not subscribe so you don’t miss a single post?


Subscribe to my Blog

Receive notifications of my new blog posts directly to your email.