Patti Stanger, you’ve gone over the edge

September 15, 2011

Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger has gotten some bad advice. Or, maybe she’s gotten the right advice and chosen not to follow it. God knows, I had plenty of those kind of clients in my reputation management practice.

Either way, she’s one more victim of today’s reality show environment, where all good sense is lost in the pursuit of fame.

The premise of her show is the Cinderella myth: that a handsome prince will sweep a lonely girl up on his white steed and carry her off to happily ever after. On the show, the men aren’t necessarily handsome (although once in a while they claim to be princes, usually of some minor principality.) But they’re more often wealthy entrepreneurs or trust funders. There is rarely a steed, but plenty of private jets, limos and Rolls Royces. And the furthest the audience sees into happily ever after is whether or not the couple has a second date.

Since many women long for their prince, this show was a winner from the get-go. I love a fairy-tale ending and was curious to see how this contemporary fairy tale worked, so I tuned in a few times to see the modern-day Yente in action.

Patti only wants to match her clients with women who are smart
and want to date the men for their personalities and good hearts.

Some of her advice was sensible.

“No sex before monogamy.”

“Put your best foot forward.”

“Men, don’t talk about yourself, get to know the woman.”

Some of the men do suffer from a mild case of denial.

But then Patty became a “celebrity.” She lost a few pounds for the camera. Got a bit more botox and seemed to have had some “work” done. And began to go over the edge.

No sex before monogamy became “No insertion here (she points to her mouth), here (points to genitals) or here I(points to her posterior) before monogamy.”


Put your best foot forward became trying to force an older bachelor to have botox, requiring women change their hair color before attending her “mixers” and insulting women’s choice of attire or natural personality.


She got increasingly shrill and vulgar, screaming at clients and women, liberally telling them to “f*** off” — on camera. Her business manager told her (on camera) she’d been asked to endorse a male-enhancement product, and she said she’d be willing to do it as long as it was “herbal” and it worked.

Dumb idea. (Unless she just wanted to do it for the money. Ya think?)

She admitted on camera that she was asked to match trashy, drug-addled, former hooker New Jersey housewife Danielle Staub but turned it down because she’s friendly with Caroline Manzo, another NJ “housewife” who is way too full of herself. The implication was that she considered it.

I’m sure at one time she was more like a regular person that women could relate to. But now?

Patti Stanger has become just another reality-show fame whore. A caricature of herself. And it’s a list that’s getting longer by the day.

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Now, her former assistant, Chelsea, has gotten a matchmaking TV show deal with her live-in boyfriend. But Chelsea lacks the charisma and media presence that Patty had at the start. I guess I can’t blame her for seizing her 15 minutes and running with them. But I do fault TV for being derivative. Constantly. Zzzzz.

Remember when Jerry Springer Show audience favorite, security guard, Steve Wilkos, got his TV deal for a similarly trashy show? He brought nothing to TV: not personality, charisma or intelligence. He was just someone trashy audiences liked. And he’s still on the air, coming across like the dullard and blockhead that he is.

Reality TV says a whole lot about a culture. If I ever finished the PhD I started in social psych, this would be my dissertation topic.

*images from

2 comments on “Patti Stanger, you’ve gone over the edge
  1. Anonymous says:

    I always agree with you!!\

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