Penis bling

July 14, 2016

penis-bling The other day I looked at the data that shows me what posts people call up and “penis decor” was a search term that got someone to my blog. So I went on a search.

Did you know there is an Etsy shop for penis bling? It isn’t really penis decor. The products are actually slippers decorated with stuffed penises. (Or is it penii?)  Penis pom-pom slippers. Truly. Anyway, there’s something for everyone on Etsy, it seems.

I also found a Youtube video that consists of several minutes of an 800 number screen. That’s it. I was so disappointed: I was hoping to see some actual penis bling. (I didn’t call the number.)

There are, however, penis-shaped flashing swizzle sticks.

Penis gift wrap options.

A bouncing blue penis.

And some really crazy penis bling porn.

I have to say that I rather long for the good old days, when no one said “penis” out loud, except maybe doctors’ daughters (like me) who were taught the proper terminology young. But the fact is, our society is penis and vagina crazy, as in saying the word, and really, it brings up images I am really not that interested in seeing, like over lunch or in my free time. To be honest.

This all began with a post I did on vajazzling, a fad that has lost its allure, apparently, as I haven’t heard anything about it in a real long time. Which is good. Except that led me to find something called furkins, which you can read about here.  If you know what a merkin is, well, a furkin is the next step up.  And of course, while I was on the subject and at a fine arts exhibition, I couldn’t resist THIS. 

And after that vajazzle and furkin posting frenzy, I had to give men equal time, so I located a scrotum shield and other penis decor, and brought it to the attention of readers. Posted below.  So folks, go crazy. I promise you can click on links and NOT get porn. I made sure of that.

Stay on trend: decorate your penis

26 comments on “Penis bling
  1. carla says:

    ((Laughed out loud.))

  2. Jennifer says:

    What she (Carla) said! I guess I’ll have to catch up on my vajfurmers to be in with the cool kids.

  3. Some great stocking stuffer ideas (your should pardon the expression)…

  4. I just got used to the idea that my junk should be getting regular haircuts, I’m not sure I’m ready to start accessorizing yet

  5. Jessica says:

    I had no idea that penis bling was a big thing. I could not imagine my husband getting in to that.

  6. No, just no. And no again. Leave the penis alone.

  7. Anita Irlen says:

    What is it about people wanting to decorate their stuff? I’m with Sharon, no, just no.

  8. Haralee says:

    Thank-you Carol for alerting me to this trend. Up until this morning I was unaware of penis bling!Tomorrow I have a seminar and during the break out sessions if I get a bit bored I know my conversation topic will be sensational!

  9. Barbara says:

    I’ll pass on all of it.

  10. Leave it in your pants. That’s what I say.LOL

  11. Michelle says:

    Seriously don’t even know what to comment on this. Except it brought a good laugh.

  12. Okay, I’m a little nauseous but I did love reading this. You are one of a kind, my friend!

  13. Diane says:

    Yow! I just got a little smarter. (Or not?!)
    Youngest daughter and I went to a Bachelorette party. It was a real education in penis-shaped everything. From pasta through dessert. They even played ‘pin the penis on the groom’. We were given paper, etc to create our own penii for the game. I made a fig leaf and daughter made a censored sign because we were not comfortable with the alternative. Yeah. Invite two prudes to a party…

  14. Bren Pace says:

    Lol Wow! I was hop8ng to see some images! ???? Thanks for the giggles!

  15. SuE says:

    You break me up Carol!! Thanks for making me laugh in a week that has been tough. Love your work! You always surprise me with the variety of topics you find to write about. Sue from Sizzling Towards Sixty

  16. Liv says:

    You’re always looking out for us Carol. I appreciate that. I think.

  17. Elizabeth O. says:

    This is all too fascinating for me, lol! I never though that there would be something like this but then again we live in a world that is more about showing off than being silent. I had fun reading, thanks for making my day!

  18. Glenda Kruse says:

    Lol, don’t know why there’re still people that feel uncomfortable to talk about penises, penises toys, etc… No need to get all tensed up, it’s part of life! Anyways thank you for the info, will stop by and check it out. 🙂

  19. Lisa says:

    I’m picturing gold chain scrotum “bags” and ruby foreskin piercing jewelry. Too freakin funny! This made my Friday!!!

  20. I must agree with the person above who said she doesn’t get it why people get so tense talking about these things. I love the tasteful and graceful way you presented the information – not to mention humorous! Had a good laugh! I would rather read about it in this fashion that get porn in my mailbox!

  21. Nicole Escat says:

    I remember a souvenir we got from a place here in our country. It has this very clever decoration.

  22. John C Meltz says:

    My wife and I recently went to a wonderful “clothing optional” beach in Florida. It was absolutely the highlight of our vacation.While there we saw several guys wearing “thing bling” in a variety of ways. Some of it was cool. Other stuff not so much. Very interesting fashion statement.

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